Ly Tin Wheedle

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Ly Tin Wheedle
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Ly Tin Wheedle, as drawn by Matt Smith
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Ly Tin Wheedle is referred to as arguably the Disc's greatest philosopher in a number of the books - however, it is generally him that's doing the arguing! Created the Singing Spoon. His many sayings advocating respect for the old and the virtues of poverty are frequently quoted by the rich and elderly. Some of his aphorisms are below:

"The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy", according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: "you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably", he said, "there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queeons -- that do the job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon." His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expounded because, at that point, the bar closed.

"Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized."

When the philosophical community came to the conclusion that distance was an illusion and all places were in fact the same place, Ly Tin Wheedle was the philosopher to make the famed conclusion that "Although all places were in fact the same place, that place was very big".

"When many expect a mighty stallion they will find hooves on an ant." (This resembles a saying of Roundworld's Confucius.)