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Motto: NIL MORTIFI, SINE LVCRE

No killing without pay

This is one of the most powerful among the Guilds of Ankh-Morpork. The current head of the Assassins' Guild is Lord Downey, who took over after his predecessor, Dr. Cruces, was killed by Carrot Ironfoundersson during the events of Men At Arms.

Their light and airy Guild house is adjacent to the Fools' Guild house (see Men at Arms). Their school is noted for giving one of the best educations you can have. Usually children of high-standing noble families attend the Assassins' school. The school's reputation even reaches into far-off countries. For example, 71-hour Ahmed from Klatch admitted that he had trained at, and been licensed by, the Guild (see Jingo), as was King Pteppicymon XXVIII of Djelibeybi. However, there is always a place for a scholarship boy, partly out of a spirit of noblesse oblige, but mainly because any commoner showing an uncommmon aptitude for the profession had better bloody well be where we can see him. This is, after all, the way the upper classes have traditionally dealt with potentially troublesome but talented outsiders: by absorbing them into the privileged upper class, rather than risk having them outside leading a revolution. Scholarship pupils include Inigo Skimmer, Professor Cranberry, and possibly Zlorf Flannelfoot, who rose all the way to become Guild President.

The Assassins have a high moral standard, in their own terms. They scrupulously stick to the rules of their Guild. Those rules include a prohibition of killing without a contract or fee. If you did, you would be a common murderer, not an Assassin (note the capitalization).

This rule has been broken by the student assassin Jonathan Teatime (appears in Hogfather). He seemed to kill for the mere pleasure of it, a fact that made him a dangerous criminal, even by Assassins' standards.

Assassins should wear black, a rule that has been challenged by Havelock Vetinari, while he was at the Assassins' school himself. He outdid all the others by wearing various shades of grey and green to blend better into the shadows. However, Vetinari is said to have actually failed his first attempt at the exam in Stealth and Concealment, simply because the adjudicating senior Assassin thought he hadn't bothered to turn up. Vetinari resat the exam, taking care to strive for something less than 100% effectiveness, and passed with a high mark.

Others who wore black only were not as effective. See the Hon.John Bleedwell. Lord Downey and Lord Vetinari were old enemies during their school years (see Night Watch).

Only two people have been taken off their scale of fees so far. No assassination contract will be accepted either for Lord Vetinari, nor for Commander Samuel Vimes. The reasons are that even the Assassins think that Vetinari alive is much less a threat than a dead Vetinari, as you can never be sure whether he will stay dead. As for Sam Vimes, multiple assassinations have been planned, attempted and failed. He seems to be too ingenious in outwitting and ruining every attempt, and the assassins have finally given up on him, at least for the time being.

Most of the gentlemen from the noble family Selachii are trained and licensed Assassins.

The Guild has an impressive library, where their section on famous assassinations, weaponry and the methodology of inhumation is rumoured to be greater than even that of the Library at Unseen University. There is also a museum showing various artefacts that have helped certain people to an earlier grave than they had anticipated. The fabled gonne was kept here until it was stolen by Edward d'Eath.

Important Assassins who have been mentioned in the Discworld books include:

• Zlorf Flannelfoot in The Colour of Magic
• Lord Downey (in various books)
• Lord Havelock Vetinari (in various books)
• Dr. Cruces (in Men at Arms)
• Pteppicymon XXVIII (in Pyramids)
• 71-hour Ahmed (in Jingo)
• Jonathan Teatime (in Hogfather)
• Inigo Skimmer (in The Fifth Elephant)

(list may be subject to updating)

Within the Guild, the school is broken into Houses, each with a House Tutor. A list follows of these Houses and their Heads of House:

• Viper House (Mr Nivor)
• Scorpion House (Lady T'Malia)
• Tump House (Miss Alice Band)
• Broken Moons House (Mr Moody)
• Raguineau's (Baron Strifenkanan)
• Pernypopax House (Professor Stone)
• Cobra House (Mr Mericet)
• Wigblock Prior (Kompt de Yoyo)
• B2 House [day pupils] (Dr von Ubersetzer)
• C1 House [day pupils] (Dr Perdore)
• Mykkim House (Mr Linbury-Court)
• Mrs Beddowe's House (M. le Balourd)
• Tree Frog House [day pupils] (Mr Bradlofrudd)
• BlackWidow House [girls] (Mme les Deux-Epees)
• Welcome Soap House (Mr Graumunchen)
• Raven House (Miss Smith-Rhodes)

The traditional Assassins' hand signal is that of two fingers pressed against a thumb - the otherwise-universal sign for money. Without which, of course, assassination wouldn't take place. They do not murder indiscriminately, as that would be rank bad form. No, no, they are not common killers. They would take that most ill, should you be rash enough to suggest it. No, they are merely gentlemen who, for a consideration, may see their way clear to smoothing some of life's problems for other gentlemen.

Sam Vimes hates them with a passion.