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Auditors of Reality
From Discworld & Pratchett Wiki
| The Auditors of Reality | |
| [[Image:|thumb|center|200px|{{{1}}}]] | |
| Name | |
| Age | as old as Time |
| Race | |
| Occupation | Auditors, of course |
| Looks | like empty gray cloaks |
| Residence | |
| Death | |
| Parents | |
| Relatives | |
| Children | |
| Marital Status | |
| Books | |
| Cameos | |
The Auditors of Reality are the eternal watchers of time and space. Appearing as plumes of smoke clad in gray cloaks, they have no sense of humanity and all that it entails, whether it be humor or even a sense of singularity, which they particularly despise. Auditors think that to live is to die, and to be a specific person is to live, so an Auditor finds itself imploding if it so much as talks about itself in the first person. Auditors always speak of the "we". Auditors always work in groups of at least three, so that each one can be watched by at least two others. Supposedly all Auditors are of the same opinions about everything, but they still need to watch each other because, frankly, the temptation to live is too great.
They have also had their fair share of run-ins with the Death of the Discworld. Auditors tend to be very unpopular with all anthropomorphic personifications and other supernatural entities for breaking the world to make things the way they ought to be. Auditors think that everything should obey basic physics (i.e. it should not be affected by imagination, perceptions, or thoughts, which sentient beings possess in amounts that seem to the Auditors to be unacceptable). Auditors also think that things should be regular (i.e. all cobblestones should be exactly same size and shape), and all spoken words ought to be literal and there ought not be metaphors. Auditors have tried at various times to get Death replaced by someone with less heart, get people to stop believing in a winter god, and make time stop so that the Auditors can finally catch up with all the paperwork. They also, once they became aware of its existence, objected to certain aspects of Roundworld history, and sought to destroy it.
Major appearances as scheming blobs of smoke in:
