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Hogfather
Cover	[[Image:|thumb|center|200px|{{{1}}}]]
Published	7 November 1996
Publisher	Victor Gollancz
ISBN	057506403X
Pages
Series	Death Series
Main characters	Hogfather, Death, Susan Sto Helit, Mr. Teatime
Annotations	Annotations for Hogfather
Notes	Adapted as a TV film in 2006.
All data relates to the UK hardback edition.

Blurb

It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet.

There's snow, there're robins, there're trees covered with decorations, but there's a notable lack of the big fat man who delivers the toys ...

Susan the governess has got to find him before morning, otherwise the sun won't rise. And unfortunately, her only helpers are a raven with an eyeball fixation, the Death of Rats and an oh god of hangovers.

Worse still, someone is coming down the chimney. This time he's carrying a sack instead of a scythe, but there's something regrettably familiar ...

Ho. Ho. Ho.

It's true what they say.

'You'd better watch out ...'

Characters

Major Characters

• Jonathan Teatime, an assassin
• Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of Unseen University
• Lecturer in Recent Runes
• Susan Sto-Helit, Death's granddaughter
• Death
• Auditors of Reality
• Hogfather, a god
• Albert
• Chair of Indefinite Studies
• The Bursar
• Hex
• Ponder Stibbons
• Adrian Turnipseed aka Mad Drongo
• Dean
• Bilious, the Oh God of Hangovers
• Senior Wrangler
• the Librarian

Minor Characters

• Lord Downey, head of the Assassins' Guild
• Modo, Unseen University's gardener and odd-job dwarf
• Lares and penates (small gods) created during the book (most, not all, cease to exist once belief in the Hogfather is restored):
  • Verruca Gnome
  • Hair Loss Fairy
  • Eater of Socks
  • Stealer of Pencils
  • God of Indigestion
  • Towel Wasps
  • Cheerful Fairy (aka Gwendoline Smith) and the Blue Bird of Happiness (a blue bird [a hen, in fact], not a bluebird)
  • Glingleglingleglingle Fairy
• The Tooth Fairy, the original bogeyman
• Death of Rats, with his mount Quoth (Quoth isn't mentioned my name in this book)
• The Gaiter family:
  • Twyla Gaiter, precocious 5-year-old girl who acts ingratiatingly cute to charm people
  • Gawain Gaiter, Twyla's brother
  • Mrs Gaiter, their mother, a social climber
  • Mr Gaiter, their father, in the wholesale shoes and boots business
• Villains who assist Teatime:
  • Chickenwire
  • Medium Dave Lilywhite
  • Banjo Lilywhite
  • Catseye
  • Peachy
  • Mr Sideney, a wizard, who owes money to Chrysoprase
  • Mr Brown, a locksmith
• Ernie, a carter, killed by Teatime
• Boars of the Hogfather:
  • Gouger
  • Rooter
  • Tusker
  • Snouter
• Binky, Death's horse
• Nobby Nobbs, watchman
• Constable "Washpot" Visit, watchman
• Violet Bottler, who lives on Shamlegger Street
• Canting Crew:
  • Foul Ole Ron
  • Coffin Henry
  • The Duck Man
  • Arnold Sideways
  • Gaspode (not mentioned by name, just called "Foul Ole Ron's thinking brain dog")

Cameos and Mentions

• Didactylos, philosopher
• Sir Geoffrey, guest of the Gaiters
• the Sandman (mentioned)
• Old Man Trouble (mentioned)
• Mr Winvoe, Assassin's Guild Treasurer
• Carter, Assassin's Guild servant
• Sir George, one of Teatime's victims (as was Sir George's dog)
• Soul Cake Duck (mentioned)
• Scissor Man
• General Tacticus (mentioned)
• Rachel and Verity, friends of Twyla's (mentioned)
• Other Ankh-Morpork villains named Dave or similar (mentioned):
  • Big Dave
  • Fat Dave
  • Mad Dave
  • Wee Davey
  • Lanky Dai
• K. W. Dobson, assassin (mentioned)
• De Bris gang (mentioned)
• Packley, a man with a strongroom (mentioned)
• Igor, barman at Biers
• Shlimazel, a bogeyman who encounters Susan twice; his name is Yiddish for "chronically unlucky person", and is most famous to American audiences as the 2nd word of "Making Our Dreams Come True", the theme song to Laverne & Shirley
• Captain Carrot (mentioned as "Captain Carrot One-Man Night Watch" doll set; since it's unlikely Carrot would merchandise himself, one wonders if Dibbler is responsible here?)
• Children who meet or write to the Hogfather:
  • Virginia Prood, a girl who receives a Gharstley Omnian Inquisision Torchure Chamber as a Hogswatch present (victim figures not included)
  • James Riddle
  • Doreen, a girl who wants (and gets) a castle and sword for Hogswatch, not a[Baby Tinkler Doll, nor a Just Like Mummy Cookery Set, and especially not a Cut-Out Kitchen Range Book, despite what her mother says.
  • Aaron Fidget, a Hogfather disbeliever who lives in The Pines on Edgeway Road, whose Hogswatch desire include the book Walnut's Inoffensive Reptiles of the Sto Plains
  • Euphrasia Coat, a girl who wants (and gets) a pony for Hogswatch
• Jack Frost
• Ronnie Jenks, bully who used to beat up Sideney
• Angie, Ronnie's wife, and her sister Continence
• Gammer Wimblestone, ran dame school Sideney attended
• Mrs Gammage, regular at Biers (mentioned)
• John Barleycorn, a supernatural entity (mentioned)
• "Bloody Stupid" Johnson
• Archchancellor Weatherwax (mentioned)
• Vernon Crumley, owner of Crumley's in the Maul
• Miss Harding, cashier at Crumley's
• Windle Poons (mentioned)
• Blind Io (mentioned)
• Ma Lilywhite, Banjo and Dave's deceased mother
• Glossy Ron, person killed by Ma Lilywhite
• Bibulous, the God of Wine
• Prophet Ossory (mentioned)
• Mrs Whitlow (mentioned)
• Sarah, the Little Match Girl, scheduled to die at the doorway of Thimble's Pipe and Tobacco Shop, Money Trap Lane
• Osric Pencillium, inventor (or possibly discoverer) of the pencil
• Children visited by Violet Bottler in her role as tooth fairy:
  • William Wittles aka "Willy" and "Tosser", who lives at 68 Kicklebury Street
  • Sophie Langtree aka "Daddy's Princess", who lives at 5 The Hippo
  • the Honorable Jeffrey Bibbleton aka "Trouble in Trousers" and "Foureyes", who lives at Scrote Manor, Park Lane
  • Nuhakme Icta aka "Little Jewel", who lives at her parent's business, Laughing Falafel, Klatchistan Take-Away and All Nite Grocery, at the corner of Soake and Dimwell
  • William Rubin, who, due to a misunderstanding, had all his teeth taken by Violet (using pliers)
• Charlie, runs Bulk Collection and Despatch for tooth fairies
• Jermain, a king's page
• Anon (mentioned), collective reference for people who never received a name
• Aabana Bottler (mentioned)
• Anaglypta Huggs, Hogswatch caroler who carefully removes offensive elements from songs like The Red Rosy Hen
• Miss Butts (mentioned), Susan's former teacher (mentioned by full name in Soul Music)
• Thomas Ague, visited by a tooth fairy (not necessarily Violet), lives at 9 Castle View in Sto Lat
• Fate (mentioned)
• Professor of Applied Anthropics
• Archchancellor Buckleby (mentioned), died in a wardrobe
• Mericet (mentioned)
• Archchancellor Spode (mentioned)
• Lord Selachii (mentioned)
• Ventre, Quirmian philosopher who expounds the Discworld equivalent of Pascal's Wager
• Electric Drill Chuck Key Fairy (mentioned)

Locations

• Ankh-Morpork
  • Unseen University
    • High Energy Magic Building
    • Great Hall
    • Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance, a room presumably named after Bowell, an Archchancellor
    • Uncommon Room
    • Tower of Art (mentioned)
  • Sator Square
  • Unreal Estate
  • [Short Street]] (mentioned)
  • The Maul, a mall
    • Crumley's, a store in the Maul
  • The Shades (mentioned)
  • Treacle Mine Road (mentioned)
  • Goose Gate (mentioned)
  • Nap Hill (mentioned)
  • YMPA (Banjo was staying there)
  • Phedre Road (mentioned)
  • River Ankh (mentioned)
  • Gleam Street (mentioned)

• Child's Painting Land, a land which looks like a child's painting

• Omnia (mentioned)

• Biers

• Krull (mentioned)

• Quirm (mentioned)

• Death's Domain
  • Room of Lifetimers

• Llamedos (mentioned)

• Klatch (mentioned)

• Agatean Empire (mentioned)

• Ramtops (mentioned)

• Castle of Bones, a castle made of ice, the Hogfather's home

• Dunmanifestin, mountain home of the Gods

• Sumtri, land where the pencil bush was first discovered

• Scrote (mentioned)

• Howondaland (mentioned as place where people eat insects)

• Hall of Murgle, a hall with a famous lock

• Genua (mentioned)

Things and Concepts

• Hogswatchnight, holiday setting for book
• Year of the Sideways Leech (mentioned)
• Viper House, a house (dormitory?) in the Assassin's Guild
• Thieves' Guild (mentioned)
• Campaign for Equal Heights, an activism group for dwarfs, pixies, and other vertically-challenged members of society
• Improved Manicure Device, Bloody Stupid invention used to peel potatoes
• Dolls of All Nations singing Wouldn't It Be Nice If Everyone Was Nice, parody of the It's a Small World attraction and song, most commonly associated with Disneyland.
• Dried frog pills
• Aurora Corealis, atmospheric phenomenon resembling Aurora Borealis, but magical rather than electromagnetic.
• Fast of St Ossory, celebrated in Omnia about the same time as Hogswatch
• Book of St Ossory, a religious book
• Wow-Wow Sauce, a dangerous condiment, outlawed in three cities
• Englebert's Enhancer, a substance that enhances properties of other substances
• Spold's Unstirring Divisor, a spell that separates things
• scumble, alcoholic drink made from "mainly apples"
• Burleigh and Stronginthearm, crossbow manufacturers
• Bows and Ammo, magazine parodying Guns_and_Ammo
• Fighting Tiger Limpet, fairly aggressive mollusk favored (as food) by wizards
• "Three Wizards" Chardonnay, a brand of wine
• Year of the Talking Frog (mentioned)
• Winkles Old Peculiar, a brand of beer
• Woddeley's Basic Gods, a book
• First Empire, time period
• Happy Tales, a reading primer
• Hunt the Slipper, a game
• Chase My Neighbour Up The Passage, a game
• Hooray Jolly Tinker, a game
• Krullian pipefish, an animal that's probably not related to bananas
• Offler's League of Temperance, a group that refrains from alcohol
• Dratley and Sons, wardrobe manufacturers
• Sardines, identical to the Roundworld game of the same name
• Grandmother's Footsteps, a game
• I Spy, also a Roundworld game
• Woddeley's Occult Sequence, a locking spell
• Twurp's Peerage, a book about nobility
• SpoIt's Forthright Respirator, spell that can help people breathe
• Bells of St Ungulant's, song (mentioned)
• Bubble's Catastrophe Suite, organ piece played by the Librarian
• Beggars' Guild (mentioned)
• Sago-sago tree (mentioned)
• Burglar Crab (mentioned)
• Ice Bear (mentioned)

Annotations

• Although this is primarily a Death book, Pterry makes a heroic effort to get as many different characters into this "holiday special" book as possible: eg, the wizards and the Canting Crew (no witches though), as well as mentions of lands from several books (Omnia, Klatch, the Agatean Empire, etc).

• "'...yes, Twyla: there is a Hogfather.'". References the 21 September 1897 New York Sun editorial, Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus

• "I spent hours with my nose pressed up against the window... until they heard me callin', and unfroze me.", possible reference to a similar scene in A Christmas Story, where the main character gets his tongue frozen to a flagpole.

• "Assault and battery included." - parodies the Roundworld phrases "assault and battery" and "batteries not included". Given the state of electrical technology on the disk, do they really have batteries?

• "Come along, Mr Wizard." - possible reference to the Don Herbert, popularly know as "Mr. Wizard".

• "+++ Why Do You Think You Are A Tickler? +++" - Hex's answers are reminiscent of ELIZA, a 1966 computer program designed to parody a psychiatrist.

• "Hex's 'Anthill Inside' sticker" - parody of Intel's "Intel Inside" advertising campaign.

• "'It's, er, beehives.' [...] It's actually amazing how much information you can store on one honeycomb." - assuming Granny Weatherwax's theory is correct (that all bees are part of a larger Swarm), Hex may've tapped into a very large and powerful source of information.

• "Mousse de la Boue dans une Panier de la Pate de Chaussures [...] It's not our fault if even Quirmians don't understand restaurant Quirmian [...] Brodequin roti Facon Ombres [...] Languette braisse [...] Sole d'une Bonne Femme [...] Servis dans un Coulis de Terre en I'Eau [...] Cafe de Terre" - Quirmian appears to be the Discworld equivalent of French

• "Reverse thaumaturgy, yes, certainly." - a reference to Reverse engineering

• "'There are magic wardrobes,' said Violet nervously. 'If you go into them, you come out in a magic land.'" - a reference to C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

• The events of this book take place between Interesting Times and The Last Continent, meaning that Rincewind is just starting his survival course on XXXX. Oddly, the Librarian doesn't ask Death/the Hogfather for Rincewind's safe return (it's less surprising that no one else remembers Rincewind -- in The Last Continent, Ridcully repeatedly has to be reminded that Rincewind is a person, not a type of cheese).

• The square root of 27.4 is very nearly 5.2345

• "EQUALS 17,857 TONS." - one of the frequent 57 references in TP's work

References

Direct references to Roundworld:

• Old Faithful, a geyser
• The Copacabana, a New York nightclub, also mentioned in the Barry Manilow song of the same name
• Valium, brand name for diazepam, a drug used to treat anxiety
• The anthropic principle

Notes

Made into a TV film in 2006; first broadcast on 17 December and 18 December (as a two-parter) on Sky One. Starring David Jason, as Albert, Joss Ackland (White Mischief, Lethal Weapon 3, Cliffhanger, Midsommer Murders) as Mustrum Ridcully, Marc Warren (Hustle, State of Play, Band of Brothers) in the role of Teatime, David Warner (Planet of The Apes, The Omen) as Lord Downey, and Nigel Planer (The Young Ones) as Mr. Sideney, while Ian Richardson (House of Cards, The Final Cut) and Neil Pearson (Bridget Jones' Diary, Drop The Dead Donkey) voices the characters of Death and The Raven respectively. Michelle Dockery (Fingersmith) takes one of the principal roles as Susan. The other actors are Peter Guinness (Sleepy Hollow, Coronation Street) as Medium Dave Lilywhite, Stephen Marcus (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) as Banjo Lilywhite, Sinead Matthews (Pride And Prejudice) as Violet Bottler the Tooth Fairy, Rhodri Meilir (My Family) as Bilious, Arthur White (A Touch of Frost, The Darling Buds of May) as Ernie The Cart Driver and Tony Robinson (Black Adder, Time Team) as Vernon Crumley.