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Cosmo Lavish
From Discworld & Pratchett Wiki
| Cosmo Lavish | |
 | |
| Name | Cosmo Lavish |
| Age | 50s? |
| Race | Human |
| Occupation | Banker |
| Looks | stout, |
| Residence | Ankh-Morpork |
| Death | |
| Parents | |
| Relatives | Pucci Lavish |
| Children | |
| Marital Status | |
| Books | Making Money |
| Cameos | |
A member of the long-established and honourable (they've got old money, which gives anything an honorific) Lavish family.
One of those long-entrenched upper crust families who, in theory at least, can contend to gain the Patricianship for one of their members. The nearest thing they have to a plausible candidate, at the moment, is Cosmo.
Educated at the Assassins' Guild, (although he did not take the Black Syllabus), Cosmo, like other members of his family (such as his sister, Pucrezia, or Pucci Lavish), holds a minor directorship at the Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork and is not an ally of Moist von Lipwig. Moist, on hearing that Cosmo did not graduate as an active Assassin, wonders out loud if he took a note in from his mother to the Master to excuse him from stabbing practice.
Cosmo favours black clothing, although as has been mentioned elsewhere, this is only really stylish on people who are not carrying excess fat. Similarly, a goatee beard only looks stylishly sinister on people with only one chin: Moist thought of his beard as being misplaced pubic hair and pitied the barber.
Oh, and he is also obsessed with Vetinari, not a wise or sane thing on the part of one who it is suspected entertains an ambition for the Patricianship.
Is trying to train his eyebrow to raise quizically, a la Vetinari, as he has realised that this is clearly the source of the fascination the man extends over people, and to which people bow down - or quiver in fear, either of which responses would titillate our Cosmo. Unfortunately, it seems as though the eyebrow trick is beyond him, and it appears to be a manic tic. If he could only get it right, then surely the Patricianship would be his as of right.
His fascination with Vetinari extends in other sinister ways. He has his manservant Heretofore (whom he calls "Drumknott" as, in the mistaken fantasy world inside his head, his servant really was Rufus Drumknott) collect all manner of objects that have been the Patrician's - boots, a skullcap, his swordstick... Of these, only the skullcap was actually Vetinari's, but that didn't stop Heretofore's scheming and money-grabbing from his master.
The final knell of doom for Cosmo, however, was in his desire to own a similar ring to Vetinari. Made of Stygium it had to be kept in the dark, and as it was too small for Cosmo it affected his finger. Badly. He wouldn't take it off, and the gangrenous, suppurating horrors that it caused finally sent Cosmo over the edge into madness.
Annotations
The name Cosmo is a reference to Cosimo de' Medici, a wealthy Florentine banker of the 15th century. In a Discworld context, this also fits quite nicely: the name Vetinari was originally a play on the name "Medici", and what could be more appropriate (as well as evoking the power-struggles of fifteenth century Italy) than returning to this original pun, as a "Medici" attempts to oust a Vetinari?
It is also a clear reference to the Borgias, of whom Cosimo and his sister Lucrezia were the most notorious...
