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Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler

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Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler
Image from the SOUL MUSIC Animated Series
Name	Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler
Age	Sixtyish
Race	Human
Occupation	Entrepreneur
Looks	Weaselly
Residence	A cellar near Treacle Mine Road and Cable Street
Death
Parents
Relatives	See: List Of Dibblers Around The Disc (Below)
Children
Marital Status	Single
Books	Guards! Guards! Moving Pictures Reaper Man Small Gods Men at Arms Interesting Times Feet of Clay Soul Music The Truth Night Watch Making Money
Cameos

CMOT Dibbler or Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler is a fixture in the street life of Ankh-Morpork , where he is a perpetually failing salesman. He gets fancy new ideas (such as feng-shui consulting, or selling stale rocks to trolls) which never work. Sometimes he sells things that don't belong to him or don't even exist (although such business practices are rather common in Ankh-Morpork). Dibbler has sometimes managed to be the top manager in a blooming new industry (like in Moving Pictures or Soul Music), but by chance or luck or simply because it's the semi-real Discworld (where magical phenomena bloom but don't last long), he consistently fails. Fortunately, he always has a backup trade to fall back on: selling sausages-in-a-bun, the sausage made not of pork but rather of anything that's been near a pig. Dibbler's sausages taste awful, but with a lot of sizzling onions and persistent price-cutting, Dibbler always manages to make a living by selling these sausages to people who have gotten sick from his sausages before. This demonstrates that he is a very good salesman.

His mercantile aspirations, and lack of aptitude for it, make the Dibbler-like character instantly recognisable, as does the appalling food that is his fall-back product. The character appears in several different disguises, in several countries including Ankh-Morpork, Agatean Empire, XXXX, and Omnia. Several of these Dibbler-like salesmen have been encountered by Rincewind. When Rincewind meets a Dibbler-double, he ponders on the theory that there are only a small number of real people in the world, and the many people you meet are merely duplicates, that's why you seem to meet the same person all across the world (this discussion on many of the Dibblers can be found in The Last Continent).

In Ankh-Morpork, Dibbler's nickname CMOT comes from his claims along the lines of "selling this at such a low price that it's cutting me own throat". The Omnian Dhblah makes a similar claim earning him the nickname Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off. Not all Dibblers make claims about the pricing aspect. The Agatean Dibhala says "may I disembowel meself honourably!" when customers complain about the low quality of his merchandise (in Interesting Times).

Night Watch tells us that, at least in the alternate history in which Vimes was sent back in time, the phrase "cutting me own throat" was in fact suggested to him by Vimes (occupying the vital space of Sgt.-at-Arms John Keel) who of course knew him from the future. However, In Making Money, it is revealed that Dibbler's full name is in fact Claude Maximilian Overton Transpire Dibbler, which creates the interesting question of whether the name or the nickname came first. It could well be one of those strange coincidences that are not unknown on Roundworld, and practically normal on Discworld. It might be good marketing, or a ploy to make applying for a bank loan easier, for Dibbler to assume proper names that fit in with the C.M.O.T. nickname. After all, until the rules were changed to prevent this happening again, Dibbler was astute enough to register with the Patrician as the sole member of the Guild of C.M.O.T. Dibblers...