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Lord Downey is the current Master of the Assassins' Guild, having succeeded Dr. Cruces. He was educated at the Guild School at roughly the same time as Lord Vetinari, (but is several years older) and, in his role as School Bully, gave him the insulting nickname of "Dog-botherer". Vetinari got his vengence, in a quite interesting manner in "Night-Watch."

It is assumed that he's since changed, but there is no concrete evidence of it. With the passing of the years and the shifting of their relationship, it is entirely possible that "Dog-botherer", together with one or two other indignities inflicted at school, hang unspoken in the air between them whenever they meet formally. Although Vetinari would be professional enough not to let this cloud any aspect of what is otherwise a perfectly pleasant and amicable working relationship, Downey may be uncomfortably aware, on these occasions, of their shared past and the jolly larks they participated in as schoolboys. Downey is certainly more than acceptably deferential to Vetinari during their adult meetings.

Downey is a highly skilled poisoner, and it is apparently very unwise to try one of his almond slices. Around Hogswatchnight he is often to be seen offering around arsenic humbugs. He was responsible for accepting the Auditors' contract to inhume the Hogfather, and knew that Teatime was the Assassin for such a specialised task.