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The Office

The Patrician's Palace is, of course, where the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork rules, or works. The Patrician may have his own office for working. He may conduct meetings with other city leaders (the Guilds and the nobles). He may grant interviews on business matters. He may hold criminal trials. He may keep criminals in the dungeons. For the current Patrician, Lord Havelock Vetinari, the most important activity is probably gathering information, both by reading reports and listening to people.

The Patrician's Palace also functions as a government, administration building. The Guilds have to register with the Patrician's Palace. The Palace also does the payroll of city employees. Wages chitty of, for example, the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, gets signed by the Patrician, sent to the Watch to be signed by the senior officer, and then gets taken by Watchmen back up to the Palace to exchange for the actual money.

The Palace also serves as repository of all the intelligence that any spies employed by the city may have gathered. The Patrician also hears court cases and hands out judgments. Convicted criminals may be imprisoned in dungeons in the Palace, or executed by hangmen employed by the city. See also the articles on Ankh-Morpork and Lord Havelock Vetinari for more details on the current running of the city.

Some Divisions of City Government

• City Watch
• Ankh-Morpork Post Office / "Royal Mail"
• The Regiments
• Mint / "Royal Mint"

Note: Lord Vetinari mentioned once that he employs some regiments (Going Postal). However, these may be very few if they do exist. When there had been real threats of warfare, each of the old noble houses raised its own regiments (see Jingo).

The Palace

The Palace used to be the Royal Winter Palace for the old kings of Ankh, because in the winter the notorious Ankh-Morpork smell is not so bad, and it is bearable to stay in the city.

Notable features of the Palace are:

• The dungeons (see Guards! Guards!), most notably the scorpion pits. Once held Sam Vimes briefly and even Lord Vetinari himself.
• The Gardens, designed by "Bloody Stupid" Johnson many years ago, and using his interesting designs he built the exploding sundial (which explodes and fires a small stone cherub miles into the air every hour) and also the Hoho, which is like a Haha but deeper. (see Men at Arms, Interesting Times).
• The Oblong Office, where the current Patrician, Lord Havelock Vetinari, works. It is rumored that his bedroom is next door, but nobody can imagine Lord Vetinari ever wasting time with such mundane matters as sleeping. The waiting room outside his office has a very interesting clock that ticks irregularly (tick,tock,tick,tick,tock), presumably this is intentional on Ventinari's part to distract and infuriate people before his meeting.
• The Rats Chamber, has a fresco of dancing rats on the ceiling, rat wall paper, rat carpet, and so on, making people feel they need a wash after a few minutes (see Feet of Clay). This is used for meetings with the city leaders, the Guild Presidents and the heads of the Ankh-Morpork noble families. In the conclusion of Feet of Clay, it is believed that Vimes buried an axe in the centre of the table, though Vimes was careful not to admit to anything.
• The Throne Room, where the Golden Throne of Ankh still sits on top of a flight of stairs, in a very large room, waiting for the King to return (see Men at Arms). Lord Vetinari sometimes works at a wooden desk at the foot of the stairs. Very few people know that the 'Golden Throne' is actually rotting wood beneath a covering of gold foil, and if any future king were to ever sit on it, it would not be pleasant.