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A lance-constable of the Watch who is briefly introduced in Thud!, through the third-person account of Fred Colon. Constable Jolson assists Fred in rescuing a would-be pole dancer at the Pink PussyCat Club, who has let enthusiasm and wishful thinking get the better of her, and who has become immovably fixed to the pole owing to rheumatics and muscular spasms.

When Fred remarks to Nobby Nobbs that the only way of freeing the hapless Mrs Spudding from the pole was to rip it bodily off its mounting and slide her off, and adds I tell you, Nobby, that girl's got the muscles of a troll on her, it is unclear if he is referring to (i) Mrs Spudding's limpet-like attachment to the pole, or (ii) Lance-Constable Jolson's ability to wrench pole and limpet-like attachment out of the floor. This is aggravatingly ambiguous, as if the person with the muscles of a troll on her is Lance-Constable Jolson, it fixes her as the so far only identified normally human woman police constable, in a Watch which includes Sally von Humpeding (vampire), Angua von Überwald (werewolf), and Cheery Littlebottom (dwarf). It may also hint at a family relationship with catering giant All Jolson, in which case an early life spent labouring in the family kitchen, unloading sixty-pound sacks of flour and potatoes from delivery carts, &c, might well account for the muscle!

And a big, strong human would of course add extra spirit to a night spent minge drinking with the other girls in the Watch, as in the famous last words uttered by many a foolish fellow: I likes a girl with spirit...]