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Vampires

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Vampires are a type of undead species on Discworld.

1 Characteristics
2 Behaviour
3 Modern Vampirism
4 How to become one
5 Known Vampires

Characteristics

Supposedly, there are also such things as vampire watermelons and vampire household tools such as unused hatchets. (A folk-legend common in many areas will tell you that a blade, once fully drawn from its sheath, will need a taste of blood before it can be stowed away. While this relates to martial accessories such as swords, bayonets and other edged weapons, it isn't a big leap to more household items such as axes, kitchen knives and craft scalpels. Experienced modellers of Airfix kits and the ilk will cheerfully tell you that their craft knives appear to obey this universal law and have a thirst for human blood, and any user of a Swann-Morton surgical scalpel will assure you the most dangerous time for the user is when fitting a new blade, a time when concentration is needed and a no. 10A blade will have a Stormbringer-like life of its very own. Those new blades, bright sparkling new from the foil packet, are very definitely hungry.). Mainly, the term "vampire" refers to an intelligent humanoid being with one or all of the following characteristics:

physiological: has a deficit of hemogoblin in their blood and requires such from human or cattle blood.
psychological: has a violent craving for blood, although the craving can be transferred to other things such as "the perfection of light and shade" (Otto Chriek, in The Truth and Monstrous Regiment) or coffee (Maladict, in Monstrous Regiment).
psychological: craves power over people (Lady Margolotta, in The Fifth Elephant).

Most vampires originate in Überwald, and those who are still powerful noble families in that region are still feuding with the werewolves. Vampires are often powerful feudal lords because they are undead, so they have had plenty of time to accumulate wealth and political power. Also, they can violently suppress the townspeople if such an action actually becomes necessary. Generally, vampires who want to rule over people can simply influence their minds (Carpe Jugulum). Though the term "vampire feudal families" is used, it is more common for one single vampire to be the lord of a feudal region; vampires generally do not raise families.

Behaviour

With these common characteristics, vampires nevertheless don't fit a stereotype. Some vampires drink cattle blood and play power politics but go to meetings to quit drinking human blood (Lady Margolotta). Some vampires seem to be the stereotypical vampire – obsessively meticulous about their socks, can't learn any modern ideas, and harass townspeople by biting their necks every now and then and requiring them to kill him; but this turned out to be because:

the silk socks are expensive,
after lying in the coffin for fifty years, modern ideas don't seem so enlightened, and
it is healthy exercise and source of family pride for the townspeople (see Count Bela de Magpyr in Carpe Jugulum).

Modern Vampirism

Members of one vampire clan started calling themselves "vampyres", trying to be modern. This clan has once attempted to make what they considered an enlightened arrangement of obtaining blood from citizens; it has failed (see Carpe Jugulum). Nowadays, many young vampires, especially those who have moved to the cities on the Sto Plains, are members of the Überwald League of Temperance, in which members go to meetings and sing songs by an organ about how they love hot cocoa and a bun instead of the b-vord; most members drink no blood at all. Many younger vampires, particularly those hanging around with the Magpyr set, have taken an interest in role-playing games, of the generic Dungeons and Dragons kind but with a very specific twist.

How to become one

It seems that people can be born as vampires by vampire parents, or people can be changed into vampires by being bitten by a vampire in a special way. Some vampires can change to a bat form (see Count Notfaroutoe in Reaper Man), but some change to other forms such as a magpie (Carpe Jugulum). Vampires usually look pale and skinny, but are in fact very fast and powerful. Many vampires can fly, or rather float in the air, while in human form.