Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]

User:Confusion

2014-08-16T06:56:30Z

Confusion: About me

Just a brief note about me: I am here mainly to read and look things up. I am willing to help if I see something to fix, and I will ask questions if there is something that confuses me. However, I probably won't be very active here, at least not any time soon.

Talk:Book:Thief of Time

2014-08-16T06:53:10Z

Confusion: Seeing streets?

Where does the fight scene frozen in time take place? If it is the one from {{NW}}, that suggests Sator Square, but Lu-Tze points to the [[Street of Cunning Artificers]] from there, which based on the maps is impossible, although it would still make sense if they entered the city via the clacks route and went towards the center. The only clear area ("There was a fight going on in the square."229 ,Harpertorch paperback) is Dragon's Landing/New Brickfields via Carey street, but why would there be a fight there? --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 06:53, 16 August 2014 (UTC)

Talk:The gods

2014-03-09T05:52:33Z

Confusion: Fate vs destiny

Would this work better as a category that's a subcategory of [[:Category: Supernatural entities]]? [[User:Kellyterryjones|Kellyterryjones]] 20:57, 22 December 2007 (CET)

:It probably would. (likewise for [[Demons]]). --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 13:30, 23 December 2007 (CET)

Are we sure Resonata, Bissonomy and especially Epidity are in Dunmanifestin? They don't sound like first-row deities. (Sure, Nuggan doesn't either, but he did command a whole country.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 15:49, 24 December 2007 (CET)

According to the glimpse we get into Chaffinch's seminal work in {{W}}, Bissonomy certainly ain't - she was turned into a shower of oysters after a fight, current location unknown, and has since been downgraded to a Virtue. (Who is to know the ways of gods, who we are assured move in mysterious ways...). So you're right, if she's in the wrong section I'll move her. But Epidity, God of Potatoes... remember the potato cult of which mr Pin was a believer, and which appears to be gaining ground in Ankh-Morpork? (mentioned in {{MM}}). I'd leave him be?

--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 16:00, 24 December 2007 (CET)

Isn't is fate who always wins, not destiny. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 05:52, 9 March 2014 (UTC)

== The God who was offered to the Librarian, with potentially disastrous consequences ==

OK... Hanuman is actually the Hindu monkey-god.

Sun-wukong is the Chinese equivalent, or one of them. In Japan he becomes Sungoku. Thought by scholars to be ultimately reflections of the Hindu God, according to Wiki.

However, the Librarian was not amused that the presumption was made that this was his God...--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 22:40, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

:Wonderful scholarship which could be included in a [[Monkey-god]] article, but it didn't fit on a single line. (Originally I was only offended by the layout; then It struck me that Hanuman was Indian as well.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 00:14, 22 November 2009 (UTC)
:Son Goku is the star of a modern Japanese animation called ''Dragon Ball'' and a multimedia ''Saiyuki'' character. Sun Wukong seems to have travelled from China to India and taken the form of Hanuman as he was wont to do. Definite confusion there. The Japanese remain divided between Shinto and Buddhism, neither of which they observe very closely and neither of which includes animal gods. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 01:02, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

==Formatting==

Yeah, thaks TC01. Glad I made the effort to make it easier to read yesterday.--[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 18:00, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

:If you want to space it out a bit more, we could use level 3 headings instead of level 2 headings, as I've done below, or some of the spaces could be put back in as long as they don't cause empty bullet points to appear. [[User:TC01|TC01]] 18:21, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

::That's an awful lot better, but I balked at it because there are so many other pages where this would be necessary if we decided to go for a generic format. I just thought an extra space would make it easier on the eye (and on my brain). Didn't I get rid of all the extra bullets? I thought I'd been pretty meticulous...--[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 18:25, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

:::I was still seeing some between the headings ("God of Dunmanifesten", "Other Gods of the Main Continent") and the lists under those headings. Like this:

*Title

**Stuff
**More stuff

:::Do you see the empty bullet point? Anyway, for now, I'll put the extra spaces that definitely don't create empty bullets back in. [[User:TC01|TC01]] 19:26, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

===Gods of [[Dunmanifestin]]===

*[[Bibulous]], god of wine and things on sticks. Resembles John Belushi.
*[[Blind Io|Blind Io]], chief of the gods. His eyeless face is blindfolded, while many all-seeing eyeballs swarm around his head.
*[[Destiny|Destiny]], not popular around the games table; he always wins.
*[[Errata]], the goddess of misunderstandings; a trouble-maker.
*[[Fate|Fate]], not to be tempted.
*[[Fedecks|Fedecks]], messenger of the gods.
*[[Flatulus|Flatulus]], god of the winds.
*[[The Lady|The Lady]], whose name is not spoken.
*The Monkey-God, possibly based on [[Roundworld]]'s {{wp|Hanuman|Hanuman}}, mentioned as a member of the Dunmanifestin elite in {{TLH}}.
*[[Neoldian]], smith of the gods.
*[[Nuggan|Nuggan]], state god of Borogravia: a twit. Lately reduced to ''[[Small Gods|small god]] status.''
*[[Offler|Offler]] of the Bird-Haunted Mouth: crocodile-headed and widely followed.
*[[Pedestriana]], Goddess of feet and pedal dexterity.
*the [[Sea-Goddess]] who loves dolphins and takes revenge on seaborne dolphin-abusers.
*[[Seven-Handed Sek|Seven-Handed Sek]], says Vengeance is His.

Compare the edit of 00:12 25 Nov with fewer bullets. It would be great to have a sort of standard layout for articles and lists: any thoughts? --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 00:18, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

:I definitely prefer it without the bullets for headings. Just having it for each item is better. I also like TC01's plan for a slightly larger font. And yes, it ''would'' be great to have a sort of standard layout, but who'd go looking for all of the pages where they may be? Kellyterryjones might have done, but even the doughty Aggers might find that a step too far...--[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 11:17, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

::I've made another attempt, using the larger font, extra spacing, and fewer bullets... [[User:TC01|TC01]] 00:10, 2 December 2009 (UTC)
:::Like it, TC, like it. There's about another fifty pages like this, so if you'd like to go searching for them and sort them all out with the same formatting we'd all be most grateful! No? Well, worth a try...--[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 11:18, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

Talk:1915 UC

2014-03-09T05:47:02Z

Confusion: 8th or not

As remarked on the page, in the British upper classes on whom Discworld's upper classes are closely modelled, practice with surplus sons (after the all-important heir) is to pack them off to the professions in order of perceived competence and ability. The military, law and academia appear to be favoured: but a consistent theme is that of religious orders being reserved for the younger and thicker.

Does this suggest there may are/have been older Ridcully sons, perhaps long-dead in one of the Sto Plains' many wars? It certainly suggests Mustrum Ridcully (Arch-chancellor) is older than Hughnon Ridcully (priest) whose birth-year is likely to have happened in the time-period 1915-1920 (he isn't that much younger than Mustrum).

Also, Hughnon is married. Therefore it is likely he has (as yet un-named) children and grandchildren? --[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 08:28, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

But wizards are generally eighth sons of eighth sons, so would that mean that their father had at least 9 children. Then again, that doesn't seem to account for the number of wizards mentioned in the UU, unless a lot of people have a lot of children. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 05:47, 9 March 2014 (UTC)

Talk:Twopenny Upright

2014-01-02T21:20:18Z

Confusion: Item, not service?

I thought that it was an object that may be involved in the services of a seamstress and the expression is being "at home" to one, not just the twopenny upright. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 21:20, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Talk:Igor

2014-01-02T21:12:43Z

Confusion: Where do igors come from

Wondering if an Igor counts as a human or member of a separate species? See [[Talk:Discworld Stuff#Humanoids|Talk:Discworld Stuff - Humanoids]].

I'll repost Terry's comment here for clarity (saves a click, anyway ;) ):
<pre>I repeat: all Igors are human, male and female. Igorism is cultural.
If the daughter of an Igor takes it into her head to marry a man who
does *not* have stitches all around his head, then that doesn't mean her
children will be half-Igor. I imagine, though, that the Igorinas go in
rather less for the 'total makeover' look.

Leaving aside any 'informal' methods of acquisition, I'm pretty certain
I said somewhere that if an Igor helps you out, it's considered only
fair to allow him or another Igor to help themselves to any still-useful
bits upon your death.-

--
Terry Pratchett</pre>

It's always confusing, but I think Igor #1, recently added, is the same as Igor at Don'tgonearthe Castle. Any opinions? --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 21:50, 21 December 2007 (CET)

"Igor at the A-M Mint". Could be that I'm nitpicking, but isn't this Igor the one who lives in the cellars underneath the Royal Bank rather than the Mint? The one who assists Hubert Turvey with the Thing/Glooper, shows Moist the hitherto unregarded way in and out, transfers Owlswick's repungant essence (and artistic talent) into an unfortunate turnip, appreciates Marster's unhinged laugh, and eventually returns the gold to its rightful place? --[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 12:25, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

The Igor who inherited his grandfather's hands was the one who worked for Jeremy Clockson, not the one who works for the Watch (unless they both inherited their respective grandfather's hands). (unsigned)

They did. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 01:38, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

An issue that came up, in a fanfic discussion, of all places. How do Igors reproduce? Where do little Igors come from? As there is a reference to Igors being much sought-after among human women (the bodily modification involved here is one we can all make a shrewd guess about - they are still bodily organs, after all, and any self-respecting Igor would install only the best), I have assumed normal mundane reproduction. Isn't there also a reference to the children of Igors being healthy and good-looking, or is that only the Igorinas?

A disturbing possibility is that, as with the Borg in Star Trek, little Igors may be, er, ''assembled'' rather than made. (The visual image from ST:TNG is that of the nursery on board a Borg cube, where a gurgling and happy human baby is already heavily bio-implanted).

And I assumed an Igor from one part of the clan might elect to whave wholly Igor children with an Igorina from a distant part of the clan. But as was pointed out, might this not lead to dangerous inbreeding where nature ensures extra fingers on each hand with no need for surgical intervention?

You assume that human genes are "imported" every so often by marrying out of the Clan, so as to keep the water in the gene pool clear and recycled...--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 12:07, 6 April 2011 (CEST)

I thought they usually married outside the clan and became igors as we know them through self improvement, with parts from family members or otherwise. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 21:12, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Igor

2014-01-02T21:07:23Z

Confusion: /* Igor at Reacher Gilt's, Ankh-Morpork */ most people with ignores are mad

{{Character Data
|title= Igor
|photo= Igor.jpg|One of the Igors, as drawn by [[User:Knmatt|Matt Smith]]
|name= Igor
|age=
|race= Igor

|occupation= Igor
|appearance=

|residence=

|books= many
}}

Igor is the common name of all male members of an extremely extended family in [[Überwald]]. Most Igors are professional servants to mad scientists or noble vampire families. Igors are also extremely good transplant surgeons. They like to pass down good organs and deft hands through the generations much as other old families would pass down heirlooms. Igors also like to do cosmetic surgery; the effects on most Igors are spoiled because they like to leave the stitches in, but the daughters of Igor families ([[Igorina|Igorinas]]) are very beautiful.

''A spare hand where needed'' is their slogan. An Igor expects to do emergency surgery for any patients or accident victims (ex. wounded soldiers, lumberjacks who had trees fall on them, etc), without payment, regardless of religion, nationality, or species. The Igor would replace any limbs that had been detached, sew up any wounds, and possibly even put in a better pair of kidneys if some were available. In return, an Igor expects the healed patient to become an organ donor one day, when he or she passes away and has no more personal use for his/her organs. The Igor always seems to know what day that will be. If, at the last minute, as the Igor stands by the bedside, the former patient refuses to do this final courtesy, the Igor will leave quietly, no fuss, no argument, but no Igor will come and help this family or camp again, ever.

Igors also like to do research in their spare time; research subjects include the uses of electricity, the benefits of doubling the number of certain organs on a transplant subject, and any green liquid bubbling in a beaker. Many Igors consider vampires the best employers, because they sleep all daylight hours and sometimes play dead for decades, and it is easy to cater to a vampire, and unlike mad scientists, vampires seldom ask the servant Igors to go and gather research materials. Working for a vampire can leave the Igor a lot of free time for his own research. Igors are also often very intelligent.

Igors have some sort of a Code of Igors, rules that they have made up for themselves. A good Igor lisps and limps if possible (actually most Igors can also talk without a lisp, but no good Igor would do that without being ashamed). It has been noted that Igorinas lisp less. When called by the employer, a good Igor appears immediately and mysteriously behind the employer or in some corner of the room. A good Igor is very discreet, never gossips about the bad or just weird things that his master has done. A good Igor lends a hand where needed, maintaining lists of donors and recipients for organ transplantation. A good Igor does research in his spare time. Most importantly, a good Igor has no inherent loyalty toward his employer. Although madness is not required in an employer, Igors often work for vampires, werewolves, or mad scientists, all people who break ordinary human moral rules, and are in danger from mobs with pitchforks. An Igor has no intention of dying, like his master, at the hand of a mob; so when the angry villagers break into the master's castle or laboratory, the Igor is never there - they always know the little hidden back door through which they can silently leave when necessary. Through experience with crazy masters a good Igor feels directly impending danger in advance and knows when it is time to pack up and leave to find a new master. It is also 'not done' for an Igor to warn anybody else, although it is not unheard of for them to drop gentle hints that now is a good time to visit a sister some way away.

To the untrained eye, Igors all look identical. They can most easily be differentiated by the pattern and style of the stitches on their face and other visible areas. Also, the pronunciation of the name "Igor" varies slightly for each Igor (or Igorina). It is often confusing when an Igor tells an ordinary man something along the lines of "Take this jar to Igor... tell my brother Igor he can have... I haven't heard from Igor for quite a while, I wonder if my cousin Igor knows..." and so on.

Igors have also started to work in a collective known as [[We-R-Igors]] which finds Igors for marthters across the disc.

<div style="font: bold 150%/1.25em serif">The various Igors encountered in the Discworld books:</div>

===Igor at Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Ankh-Morpork===
The Igor in the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] is unique as a pioneer in the field of bioartificing, with the goal of being able to grow individual organs in a tank to use for transplantation, instead of waiting for a suitable donor to pass on.

This Igor is a young man, for the most part, although he has inherited his grandfather's hands. He is unemployable in [[Überwald]] because he is too modern; he refuses to call any man master, he breeds body parts instead of waiting for donors (he calls it bio-artificing) , and he doesn't lisp - at least most of the time: In {{T!}} the lisp is very present, and in {{NW}} it he forgets it only sometimes. At the end of ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]'', this Igor was introduced to Sir [[Samuel Vimes]], Duke of Ankh, Commander of the Watch, then temporary ambassador of [[Ankh-Morpork]] by Igor. Sir Samuel had recently seen an Igor's skills at repairing severe injuries, daily hazards for the Watchmen, so Sir Samuel expressed a desire to hire an Igor. This young Igor, modern in outlook - e.g. Wearing a DA haircut with extended quiff and wearing crepe soles - and independent on donors, suits the Ankh-Morpork City Watch quite well, although he does have a traditional Igor's abilities to come when called, takes instructions for healing a little too literally, performs his own little experiments when he has time, and generally seeks to make people 'better', rather than merely 'well'.

===Igor at Ankh-Morpork Embassy in Bonk, Überwald===
Appears in ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]''. This was the first Igor to greet Sir Samuel Vimes, temporary ambassador from [[Ankh-Morpork]] to Überwald. This Igor came with the house, which used to belong to the werewolf Baron [[Guye von Überwald]]. This Igor's loyalty seemed to be to the house, so at the time, he was loyal to the service of the Ankh-Morporkian embassy. He was the one who told Sir Samuel about some of the local customs, cooked him the excellent local dishes, and reminded him of the very important point that Ankh-Morpork Embassy was considered Ankh-Morpork territory. On an ordinary day, Igor seemed to grumble about the changes that Sir Samuel wanted to make to the house (taking down all the hunting trophy heads, for example) while Sir Samuel exclaimed in shock at the Überwaldean sausages that were all meat. On the day that Igor was unfortunately murdered, he recounted to Sir Samuel which transplant recipients, patients of which Igors, were waiting for which organs. Igor was killed by an insane werewolf. This Igor may be approximately considered an uncle to the young Igor who went off to work in the Ankh-Morpork City Watch.

===Igor at the Baron's, Bonk, Überwald===
This Igor is the third Igor to appear in ''The Fifth Elephant''. By the time Sir Samuel Vimes, totally untrained diplomat, meets this Igor, Sir Samuel is able to distinguish between individual Igors and appropriately bring greetings from the other Igors.

===Igor at [[Biers]], Ankh-Morpork===
Not actually an Igor. Just a man called Igor. Be aware, and don't ask him about it.

===Igor at the Lady Sybil Free Hospital===
This Igor enjoys his work at the LSFH and aids in many opperations. He has been able to set up a lightening collector and can retain the charge for a day after a thunderstorm. In these cases he can use this electrik technology to give a life sustaning jolt to dying patients. In {{UA}} he is aware of one mortaly wounded patient who is rushed in, but recovers before Igor can even treat him. Igor recognises the nature of this patient, [[Nutt|Mr. Nutt]] and warns his friend [[Trevor Likely|Trevor]] that "many strange things come from [[Uberwald]]" and that he should expect to hear sceaming in the near future if Mr.Nutt stays around. His case is not helped by Trevor pointing out that Igor also comes from Uberwald, and he remains friends with Nutt. Another blot on this Igor's record would be a disturbing rumour that a few of his experments have gone wrong in the past, including a winged hamster bending the bars and escaping its cage...

===Igor at Jeremy Clockson's, Ankh-Morpork===
[[Jeremy Clockson]], appearing in ''[[Book:Thief of Time|Thief of Time]]'', is a member whom the [[Clockmakers' Guild]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]] watches with awe and caution, due to his genius at (extremely) accurate clockmaking, and his tendency to be violent toward people who approach time in a haphazard manner (such as, for example, habitually setting their clocks fast). A mysterious [[Myria LeJean|Lady LeJean]] engages Jeremy to make an absolutely accurate clock, and, at the Igors-R-Us agency in [[Überwald]], hires an Igor to be Jeremy's assistant. The Igors-R-Us agency is run by Igor's aunt Igorina, who realized that an Igor often finds himself unemployed due to no fault of his own, because his employer has recently been killed by a mob, as happened to this Igor's previous employer [[Screaming Doctor Berserk]].

This Igor's grandfather Igor happened to have served an Überwaldean [[Wingle|mad scientist]] who made a glass clock, which would theoretically be absolutely accurate. To Jeremy, Igor imparted the secrets of glass jars of acids for storing tame lightning for the purpose of powering the clock. Igor also made many of the parts for Jeremy's new glass clock.

Like his family members, Igor is good at picking up signs that the employer is insane. Mostly, the traditional signs are gloating, dribbling, mad cackling, and being dressed in unconventional fashions. In Jeremy, Igor spotted the opposite signs: everything perfectly in place in labeled drawers, and having a perfectly timed daily routine. He soon enough worked out, however, that while sticking screws up your nose is definitely insanity, keeping them in carefully ordered jars is not necessarily sanity, and made himself at home - although he did start to get worried when Jeremy ''didn't'' start going "THEY CALLED ME MAD!!!! I'LL SHOW THEM!!!!!" after stopping his medication.

===Igor who worked for [[Wingle|Demented Doctor Wingle]] in [[Bad Schuschein]]===
This is why Igors sometimes get a bad name. Igor worked for a mad scientist long ago in Uberwald in the town of [[Bad Schuschein]]. The fact that his master was known as 'Demented Doctor Wingle' should have given some clue as to his nature, that and the fact he planned to build a glass clock to imprison [[Time]] herself. Despite the intervention of the [[History Monks]], the clock was activated and, for a moment, Time stood still. The clock failed due to the only metal part, a spring, being unable to take stress. What happened next is a mystery to all but the Men In Saffron, but afterwards Igor said that things were different. That his master had never built the clock, but was instead working on a plan to extract sunlight from oranges. Igor would later leave his hands to his grandson Igor, who went on to gain employment with Jeremy Clockson in Ankh-Morpork, where he would begin work on a unique clock, a project that would cause Igor's inherited hands to start twitching in memory...

===Igor at Don'tgonearthe Castle, Überwald===
This Igor appears in ''[[Book:Carpe Jugulum|Carpe Jugulum]]''. He is the loyal servant of [[Bela de Magpyr]], a [[vampires|vampire]] aristocrat of the old school. Igor knows that the true way of life for a vampire nobleman is to be a good sportsman, and so he assists Count Bela De Magpyr in making [[Don'tgonearthe Castle]] a good place for adventurous young men from recently attacked towns to have a good time hunting for the Count. Count Bela De Magpyr flogs Igor every day, an act that Igor considers only good and proper. Igor is in charge of making the doors creaky, making the candles dribbly, and making the dungeons dusty and full of cobwebs, taking dust to scatter on the floor and whipping the spiders into work when necessary. When Count Bela De Magpyr went to sleep and his nephew took over the Count title, the Castle, and decided to be a modern [[vampyres|vampyre]], Igor became very disgruntled.

This Igor, like others, is a good transplant surgeon. He has a dog named [[Scraps]] (in his pronunciation "Thcrapth") who has parts of different dogs, and two tails. Other than being loyal to Count Bela De Magpyr, Igor's deepest emotional attachment is to Scraps.

===Igor at Reacher Gilt's, Ankh-Morpork===
This Igor appears in ''[[Book:Going Postal|Going Postal]]''. An experienced Igor knows how to spot dangerous madness or other self-destructive characters in an employer, and when to pack up and leave before the mob arrives.

Like all good Igors he has the ability to appear behind the master when called. Apparently he once worked for a cruel master with an enquiring mind who would call for him with his back to a pit of spikes - until one day the master forgot about the spikes and fell into them. When he later came to work for Reacher Gilt, Gilt tries a similar test using a bear-trap.

At first sight, [[Reacher Gilt]] had been just a rich man who wanted a very discreet and very skillful servant. Later on, Gilt plotted the deaths of his enemies almost in the manner of one who was panicked. And then, Gilt started boasting to a room empty except for himself, the Igor, and a parrot. Since boasting to empty rooms and your servants is not the best sign of sanity, he packed up and left before his master escaped the city. Igor also bent the Code of Igors to warn the housekeeper, telling her now was a good time to visit a sister in [[Quirm]]. The housekeeper was very skilled with a knife, and an excellent maker of steak and kidney pudding; there was some degree of friendship between the housekeeper and Igor.

===Igor at [[Hobson's Livery Stable]], Ankh-Morpork===
This Igor was mentioned in ''[[Book:Going Postal|Going Postal]]''. Veterinary work is untraditional for an Igor, but it is said that he is doing well. There are some rumors that he assembled halves of dead horses into a new, live horse.

===Igor in the [[Tenth Foot|Ins-and-Outs]], Borogravia===
This Igor appears in ''[[Book:Monstrous Regiment|Monstrous Regiment]]''. In fact an [[Igorina]] with deft hands and an ambition to be a doctor for women's problems, feeling that a woman patient might feel easier at heart to know that the surgeon is a woman. Igorina disguised herself as an Igor by putting her scalp with long hair into a jar, and putting eighteen stitches across the forehead to pretend to be old enough for the army. Like the other recruits, Igorina wore somebody's old clothes at the sign-up, but the clothes that she had found were particularly dusty, as if they might have been in a coffin. Igorina tried to enter the army to gain hands-on work experience (because an Igor must help all patients, friend or foe), so that she can convince her father that she is suitable for setting up independent practice. Igorina signed up with [[Jack Jackrum|Sergeant Jack Jackrum]] of the Tenth Infantry, nicknamed Ins-and-Outs, of the army of [[Borogravia]], and served under Lieutenant [[Blouse]]. Igorina sometimes forgot to lisp but otherwise acted as any good Igor, helping all injured men that she came across.

After the war Igor set up a clinic in Polly's home town of [[Munz]] where she ran a successful practice helping patients who preferred having a female doctor.

===Igor at [[Lady Margolotta]]'s, Bonk, Überwald===
This Igor is the second Igor to appear in ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]''. For a few embarrassing moments, Sir [[Samuel Vimes]], totally untrained diplomat, mistakes this Igor for the Igor who works at the embassy.

===Igor who works for Doctor Thaumic near Bonk, Uberwald===
This was the fourth Igor that Sam Vimes met while in Uberwald during the {{TFE}} and by this time he had gotten the hang of telling them appart - the secret is in the scar patterns. Igor worked for Doctor Thaumic who lived on the other side of mountains from the city of Bonk. Igor was brother to the Igor at the Anhk-Morpork Embassy and father to the Igor who went with Vimes to work for the watch. Igor did not approve of his son's new ideas about 'bio-artificing' and grown spare body parts rather than taking them off dead bodies. He was also dismayed by his son's rejection of the class system and refusal to call anyone 'master' as it made him totally unemployable in Uberwald. Igor begged the Duke of Ankh to take his son with him to the big city, something Vimes was only to happy to do, having been impressed by the medical skill of the Igors.

===Aunt Igorina who runs [[We-R-Igors]] at [[Bad Schuschein]]===
A forward thinking Igorina who has set up a fully clacks-linked We-R-Igors network operating out of the Old Rathaus in Bad Schuschein in [[Uberwald]]. It links up helpful igors to prospective employers and will even ship them there in a crate if required. A useful service, as often an Igor finds himself with out a master, through no fault of his own, the master having tragically died due to his windmill being burned down by an angry mob, or his monster having gone berserk, or even lead poisoning due to his being impaled on a pitchfork...

===Igor at the Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork===
This Igor appears in [[Book:Making Money|Making Money]], working in the [[Fornication|vaults]] of the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]]. He has discovered how to perform mind transplants, using the mind of a luckless parsnip, although his actual job is looking after the [[Glooper]] and [[Hubert Turvy]].

Between Igor and the somewhat unstable Hubert, they managed to make the Glooper ''absolutely perfect'', to the degree that not only did the city affect the Glooper, but the Glooper also affects the city. But since Igor has not yet discreetly left Hubert's services, it can be assumed that, as the Igors would put it, the mob won't hit the windmill for a little while yet.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Igor]]
[[category:Supporting characters|Igor]]
[[category:Serial characters|Igor]]
[[de:Igors]][[cs:Igor]]

Talk:Unseen University

2014-01-02T20:58:33Z

Confusion: /* Teaching staff and Faculty */ Hix

"Inside the University is the Great Hall, where the Wizard's four main meals of the day are eaten. Also noteworthy are the hundreds of paintings and busts of former Archchancellors that align the vestibule preceding the large octiron doors." - I thought the Great Hall had wooden doors? Or is it my memory which is wooden? - DJones

I'm pretty sure they're referred to as octiron more than once. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 15:20, 13 March 2007 (CET)

The main doors of the university are octiron, the Gt Hall doors are probably wood.--[[User:Teletran|Teletran]] 15:55, 13 March 2007 (CET)

Hmm, yes. That whole sentence doesn't actually make sense. Anyone have a floor plan? --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 18:10, 13 March 2007 (CET)

What doesn't make sense?--[[User:Teletran|Teletran]] 23:39, 13 March 2007 (CET)
:Aligning the vestibule, e.g...--[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 15:10, 14 March 2007 (CET)
::D'oh! Hadn't spotted that -- [[User:DJones|DJones]] 16:51, 14 March 2007 (GMT)

In fairness, the sentence makes sense, it's just not clear that it's referring to things from the POV of someone moving from the Great Hall outwards, in which case the the vestibule would be preceding the large (main) octiron doors. As the interpretation of the sentence relies on which way you are travelling in the University, I've altered it to be a more absolute comparison, i.e. that the vestibule is just outside the Great Hall. Hope this is acceptable. [[User:DJones|DJones]] 08:09, 14 March 2007 (GMT)

I wouldn't be surprised if the old doors to the Great Hall were replaced with octiron. The Great Hall is regularly used for large-scale spells and rituals, such as the Rite of Ashkente and the ultimate hangover cure. They has been opened quite terminally in Sorcery and had been half-melted through in Reaper Man. An octiron door would probably be a much wiser choice. But I don't think that the gates are made of octiron. They'd have to sell the Tower of Art to pay for that. [[User:Copter400|Copter400]] 15:00, 22 June 2007

The doors to the great hall definitely were wood (either {{ER}} or {{S}}) but they may have been changed. The gate to the UU are definitely and repeatedly mentioned to be octiron. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 20:56, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

== Meanwhile on Roundworld... ==

...in the periodic table of the elements, right up at the very top end on the far side of plutonium, there is an entire rafter of new clear elements whose existence is inferential, or which have just been detected in very small amounts for ultra-ephemeral lengths of time before dissappearing again into atomically decayed fragments. Without exception, these are all so new and clear that they don't even have names: they're just known by Latin numbers, eg ununtetrium (114), ununpentium(115), ununhexium(116), ununseptium(117), et c.
I have seen these referred to as UU114, UU115, and so on. It is interesting that UU has made this little bit of a mark on Roundworld chemistry in its ceaseless search for narrativium, chelonium, et c...--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 12:17, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

==Teaching staff and Faculty==

Peculiarities arise: there are Professors and Deans and Readers on the Faculty. Fine. But why Lecturers? Above them are Senior Lecturers, Principal Lecturers, Heads of Department before you get to Profs, Readers, Chairs, Associate Deans &c. How come Runes is such an important figure?--[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 16:04, 5 November 2009 (UTC)

UU titles have never seemed to matter much (unless Archchancellor); Rincewind has a number of impressive titles that don't make him important. Recent Runes, Indefinite Studies, Senior Wrangler, and formerly, the Dean were the regulars discussing the issues in council. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 23:34, 5 November 2009 (UTC)

What about the wizard who works in the Dark Arts? I don't remember his name, but I remember that he has one. [[Random]]

Hix. He was mentioned in {{MM}}, {{UA}}, and I think some others. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 20:58, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Talk:Unseen University

2014-01-02T20:56:20Z

Confusion: Gates and doors

Wizards' Magic

2014-01-02T20:18:50Z

Confusion: /* Orders and Levels of Wizardry */ oops, no link

==About wizard's magic==
Wizard's magic is one way to practise magic on Discworld. It is practised scientifically and is therefore almost the opposite of [[Witches' magic]]. Wizards study magic for many years at a university (e.g. [[Unseen University]] or [[Bugarup University]]). They learn magic the hard way. Reading an uncountable number of books, passing hard tests, getting one (or several) of the many [[UU degrees|degrees]] available and practicing all day long makes a great wizard. Oh yes, and growing a beard and wearing a pointed hat also helps.

For wizards magic is science. All magic follows certain rules and if one knows the rules then one can master magic. On example is the ''conservation of energy'' (referred to as ''conservation of reality''). Simply speaking, things have to level out at the end. If something goes up, something else has to go down. An example of this was seen in ''[[Book:The Light Fantastic|The Light Fantastic]]'' where a wizard propels himself up the the [[Tower of Art]] by causing a stone to drop from the tower's roof. It is not too hard to turn a cat into a dog, because this is simply turning one existing thing into another one. But to create things out of nothing is totally different thing and almost impossible to do for a wizard. Wizards don't seem to have figured out that they could transform ''air'' into stuff yet either.

Wizards like to use instruments specially made for the purposes of practicing magic. The wizard's staff is a familiar and intuitive example; it stores magic that wizard can use all at once. For seeing the world or even all possible times and spaces of the multiverse, the wizards have used the crystal ball and have now advanced to the [[omniscope]] which is, sadly, very expensive monetarily to produce and very expensive magically to operate. The [[thaumometer]] is an instrument to measure the amount of magic in the vicinity. They also always have a stuffed alligator, the existence of which has always been a bit of a mystery, as no-one, especially the wizards themselves, know why this seemingly random piece of occult junk always turns up in a wizard's study.

The more interested wizards (usually the younger ones) try to analyse and understand magic itself. In the [[High Energy Magic Building]] at Unseen University students together with [[Ponder Stibbons]] try to split the [[Thaum]], the smallest magic particle known so far. Wizards just love to tamper with reality and to babble about different possible dimensions. One of the newer projects is the creation of [[Hex]], a magical supercomputer.

The most general form of wizard's magic is encountered in form of illusions, fireballs and occasional calling of ghastly things from the [[Dungeon Dimensions]]. Wizards can store magic in their wizard's [[staff]], which is about 6 feet long and has a knob at the end (hua, hua, hua, hmm...).

==Wizardly Interactions==
Wizards have a great disrespect for witches, because they perform magic without really knowing the science. They also think that priests and gods in general should not be taken too seriously.

In the old days wizards frequently killed each other to move up the career ladder (known in arcane circles as "Dead Man's Pointy Shoes"). At least for the wizards at [[Unseen University]] this has come to a complete stop with the new Archchancellor [[Mustrum Ridcully]], because he likes to sneak up on people while holding a crossbow and shouting "buh", and is quite frankly deemed to be unkillable by wizardly standards. Today, wizards spend their time eating great meals at least five times a day and sleeping in between (see ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'').

[[Sourcerer|Sourcerers]] are extremely powerful wizards who can create and channel magic at will. There is almost no barrier to their power.

== How to Identify a Wizard ==
Unlike the [[witches magic|witches]], wizards had never been discriminated against, only feared in the bad old days when there were no civic arrangements and wizards warred amongst themselves and killed whichever non-magical civilians who got in their way. Nowadays, wizards tell themselves not to attack civilians (because that would be an unsporting act); wizards don't use magic to fight amongst themselves, so there is no stray magic hitting innocent bystanders; and wizards in [[Ankh-Morpork]] even pay a voluntary contribution to the city, coincidentally equal in amount to the city tax. Nowadays, wizards are respected or looked at with slight suspicion and bewilderment, but not fear. The more famous faculty members of Unseen University are city dignitaries. The UU Archchancellor attends meetings with the [[Patrician]] just as the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guild leaders]] and [[Hughnon Ridcully|important priests]] do. So, wizards find it very advantageous to advertise the fact that they are wizards. Wizards like to wear pointy
hats, boots with curled points, and velvet robes with a lot of mystic sigil embroidery, sequins, and ankhstone (like rhinestone but from the [[Ankh (river)|river Ankh, which is presumably ''much'' easier to mine]]). Most wizards like huge meals and become quite round-shaped by middle-age. A beard is often expected of wizards, and the lack thereof is one of the stumbling blocks for [[Ponder Stibbons]], the youngest top faculty in [[Unseen University]].

To summarize: When you see what appears to be a small hill with velvet pointy hat and velvet robe with too many shiny bits, you are encountering a wizard.

==Orders and Levels of Wizardry==

Wizards are organized into 8 "orders", and all high-level wizards belong to one of these orders. Each order has 1 8th-level wizard (the head of the order), 8 7th-level wizards, and 64 6th-level wizards.

We do not know:

* If the geometric progression above continues below level 6 (it probably doesn't continue to level 1, since this would mean each order has 2,097,152 wizards for a total of 16,777,216 1st-level wizards, a bit high given the total population of the Disc)

* If all lower-level wizards belong to an order (for example, [[Rincewind]], a level 0 (or, arguably, level -1) wizard, does not appear to belong to an order). The parallel might be the fraternity system at American universities: not all students are frat members, and, especially in the case of the socially prestigious or desirably "cool" frats, membership is by invitation only - the onus is on the potential new member to demonstrate what they could bring to the frat. This also reflects the organisational principle of secret societies in general: you do not contact them. ''They'' will approach ''you''.

* How broadly the levels/orders system is used outside of the [[Sto Plains]]. For example, "wizards" in Klatch call themselves "enchanters", and [[Greicha the First]] the late head of [[Wyrmberg]] refers to himself as a wizard of the 15th "rank" (not level).

* How wizards (such as Mr. Floribunda in {{UA}}) can be promoted a level by the Archchancellor without any (known) demotion

Orders, like their leaders and Archchancellors, rise and disappear over the years, sometimes in a natural flow, sometimes suddenly and violently. Despite their "Ancient" and "Venerable" names, most are quite recent institutions. The exception is ''Mrs. Widgery's Lodgers'', which dates from the foundation of the University when internal dormitory space was limited (these days the magic that has accumulated over the years has made the University's internal space as complicated as an Escher drawing).

The current eight orders (mostly from [[The Light Fantastic]]):



<table border>
<tr><th>Order Name</th><th>Head(s) of Order</th><th>Known Members & Comments</th></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]] a.k.a. Order of the Silver Star</td><td>[[Skrelt Changebasket]] (founder), [[Archchancellor]] [[Galder Weatherwax]], [[Ymper Trymon]], [[Archchancellor]] [[Cutangle]], [[Skarmer Billias]]</td><td> Vice Chancellor [[Treatle]] was a member during the events of {{ER}}. Cutangle is referred to as 'Archmage of the Silver Star' which could be the title for the head of this order.  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]</td><td>[[Hector Tugelbend]], [[Gravie Derment]] </td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle]] a.k.a. Illuminated Mages of the Unbroken Circle</td><td>[[Greyhald Spold]], [[Rhunlet Vard]]</td><td>the unbroken circle is apparently quite important: there are two orders named after it (either that or the members of the Unbroken Circle refer to themselves in two different ways?)</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brothers of the Order of Midnight]]</td><td>[[Lumuel Panter]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Venerable Council of Seers]]</td><td>[[Ganmack Treehallet]]</td><td> [[Spelter]] was a member of the order  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brotherhood of the Hoodwink]] a.k.a. the Hoodwinkers</td><td>[[Jiglad Wert]], [[Marmaric Carding]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Mrs Widgery's Lodgers]]</td><td>[[Ransak Boggett]] </td><td>the oldest of the current orders dating back to the founding of the university when living space was at a premium</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[The Last Order]] a.k.a. the Other Order</td><td>[[Eliaz Churn]] </td><td> </td></tr>
</table>

It could be added here that the massive magical war that took place in {{S}} seriously depleted the ranks of Wizardry and the original Eight Orders. Afterward, in the hangover that followed the passing of the [[Sourcerer]], and an awareness that it might not be wise for Wizards to shout about it too much - not to mention the accession of [[Mustrum Ridcully]] as Archchancellor - the Eight Orders seem to have declined in relative importance and influence - we hear less about the individual Orders and more about the collegiate integrity of the University as a whole. Perhaps their importance as hotbeds of plotting and mutual hatred made sense in the old, more fluid, University politics, but today, with one relatively unkillable Archchancellor, are something of an anachronism.

== Sub-wizards ==
{{ER}} tells us that people who can't make it as wizards may end up as (in descending order):

* [[Magicians]]
* [[Conjurers]]
* [[Thaumaturgists]]

There are also dismissive references to [[enchantress|enchantresses]] (witches with a nice set of legs) and [[Warlock_(profession)|warlocks]] (male witches).

==Books==
Wizards appear in various supporting or leading roles in the following books in several capacities:
:as people who try to take advantage of [[Rincewind]].
:as people who investigate anomalies in reality.
:as people who advance hypotheses about the space-time continuum.
:as tinkerers of reality.

*{{TCOM}}
*{{TLF}}
*{{ER}}
*{{S}}
*{{E}}
*{{MP}}
*{{RM}}
*{{LL}}
*{{SM}}
*{{IT}}
*{{H}}
*{{TLC}}
*{{TLH}}
*{{UA}}
*{{SOD1}}
*{{SOD2}}
*{{SOD3}}
*{{SOD4}}
*''[[Short Story:A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices|A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices]]

[[Category:Wizards]]

Wizards' Magic

2014-01-02T20:17:18Z

Confusion: /* Orders and Levels of Wizardry */ another unknown

==About wizard's magic==
Wizard's magic is one way to practise magic on Discworld. It is practised scientifically and is therefore almost the opposite of [[Witches' magic]]. Wizards study magic for many years at a university (e.g. [[Unseen University]] or [[Bugarup University]]). They learn magic the hard way. Reading an uncountable number of books, passing hard tests, getting one (or several) of the many [[UU degrees|degrees]] available and practicing all day long makes a great wizard. Oh yes, and growing a beard and wearing a pointed hat also helps.

For wizards magic is science. All magic follows certain rules and if one knows the rules then one can master magic. On example is the ''conservation of energy'' (referred to as ''conservation of reality''). Simply speaking, things have to level out at the end. If something goes up, something else has to go down. An example of this was seen in ''[[Book:The Light Fantastic|The Light Fantastic]]'' where a wizard propels himself up the the [[Tower of Art]] by causing a stone to drop from the tower's roof. It is not too hard to turn a cat into a dog, because this is simply turning one existing thing into another one. But to create things out of nothing is totally different thing and almost impossible to do for a wizard. Wizards don't seem to have figured out that they could transform ''air'' into stuff yet either.

Wizards like to use instruments specially made for the purposes of practicing magic. The wizard's staff is a familiar and intuitive example; it stores magic that wizard can use all at once. For seeing the world or even all possible times and spaces of the multiverse, the wizards have used the crystal ball and have now advanced to the [[omniscope]] which is, sadly, very expensive monetarily to produce and very expensive magically to operate. The [[thaumometer]] is an instrument to measure the amount of magic in the vicinity. They also always have a stuffed alligator, the existence of which has always been a bit of a mystery, as no-one, especially the wizards themselves, know why this seemingly random piece of occult junk always turns up in a wizard's study.

The more interested wizards (usually the younger ones) try to analyse and understand magic itself. In the [[High Energy Magic Building]] at Unseen University students together with [[Ponder Stibbons]] try to split the [[Thaum]], the smallest magic particle known so far. Wizards just love to tamper with reality and to babble about different possible dimensions. One of the newer projects is the creation of [[Hex]], a magical supercomputer.

The most general form of wizard's magic is encountered in form of illusions, fireballs and occasional calling of ghastly things from the [[Dungeon Dimensions]]. Wizards can store magic in their wizard's [[staff]], which is about 6 feet long and has a knob at the end (hua, hua, hua, hmm...).

==Wizardly Interactions==
Wizards have a great disrespect for witches, because they perform magic without really knowing the science. They also think that priests and gods in general should not be taken too seriously.

In the old days wizards frequently killed each other to move up the career ladder (known in arcane circles as "Dead Man's Pointy Shoes"). At least for the wizards at [[Unseen University]] this has come to a complete stop with the new Archchancellor [[Mustrum Ridcully]], because he likes to sneak up on people while holding a crossbow and shouting "buh", and is quite frankly deemed to be unkillable by wizardly standards. Today, wizards spend their time eating great meals at least five times a day and sleeping in between (see ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'').

[[Sourcerer|Sourcerers]] are extremely powerful wizards who can create and channel magic at will. There is almost no barrier to their power.

== How to Identify a Wizard ==
Unlike the [[witches magic|witches]], wizards had never been discriminated against, only feared in the bad old days when there were no civic arrangements and wizards warred amongst themselves and killed whichever non-magical civilians who got in their way. Nowadays, wizards tell themselves not to attack civilians (because that would be an unsporting act); wizards don't use magic to fight amongst themselves, so there is no stray magic hitting innocent bystanders; and wizards in [[Ankh-Morpork]] even pay a voluntary contribution to the city, coincidentally equal in amount to the city tax. Nowadays, wizards are respected or looked at with slight suspicion and bewilderment, but not fear. The more famous faculty members of Unseen University are city dignitaries. The UU Archchancellor attends meetings with the [[Patrician]] just as the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guild leaders]] and [[Hughnon Ridcully|important priests]] do. So, wizards find it very advantageous to advertise the fact that they are wizards. Wizards like to wear pointy
hats, boots with curled points, and velvet robes with a lot of mystic sigil embroidery, sequins, and ankhstone (like rhinestone but from the [[Ankh (river)|river Ankh, which is presumably ''much'' easier to mine]]). Most wizards like huge meals and become quite round-shaped by middle-age. A beard is often expected of wizards, and the lack thereof is one of the stumbling blocks for [[Ponder Stibbons]], the youngest top faculty in [[Unseen University]].

To summarize: When you see what appears to be a small hill with velvet pointy hat and velvet robe with too many shiny bits, you are encountering a wizard.

==Orders and Levels of Wizardry==

Wizards are organized into 8 "orders", and all high-level wizards belong to one of these orders. Each order has 1 8th-level wizard (the head of the order), 8 7th-level wizards, and 64 6th-level wizards.

We do not know:

* If the geometric progression above continues below level 6 (it probably doesn't continue to level 1, since this would mean each order has 2,097,152 wizards for a total of 16,777,216 1st-level wizards, a bit high given the total population of the Disc)

* If all lower-level wizards belong to an order (for example, [[Rincewind]], a level 0 (or, arguably, level -1) wizard, does not appear to belong to an order). The parallel might be the fraternity system at American universities: not all students are frat members, and, especially in the case of the socially prestigious or desirably "cool" frats, membership is by invitation only - the onus is on the potential new member to demonstrate what they could bring to the frat. This also reflects the organisational principle of secret societies in general: you do not contact them. ''They'' will approach ''you''.

* How broadly the levels/orders system is used outside of the [[Sto Plains]]. For example, "wizards" in Klatch call themselves "enchanters", and [[Greicha the First]] the late head of [[Wyrmberg]] refers to himself as a wizard of the 15th "rank" (not level).

* How wizards (such as Mr. [[Floribunda]] in {{UA}}) can be promoted a level by the Archchancellor without any (known) demotion

Orders, like their leaders and Archchancellors, rise and disappear over the years, sometimes in a natural flow, sometimes suddenly and violently. Despite their "Ancient" and "Venerable" names, most are quite recent institutions. The exception is ''Mrs. Widgery's Lodgers'', which dates from the foundation of the University when internal dormitory space was limited (these days the magic that has accumulated over the years has made the University's internal space as complicated as an Escher drawing).

The current eight orders (mostly from [[The Light Fantastic]]):



<table border>
<tr><th>Order Name</th><th>Head(s) of Order</th><th>Known Members & Comments</th></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]] a.k.a. Order of the Silver Star</td><td>[[Skrelt Changebasket]] (founder), [[Archchancellor]] [[Galder Weatherwax]], [[Ymper Trymon]], [[Archchancellor]] [[Cutangle]], [[Skarmer Billias]]</td><td> Vice Chancellor [[Treatle]] was a member during the events of {{ER}}. Cutangle is referred to as 'Archmage of the Silver Star' which could be the title for the head of this order.  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]</td><td>[[Hector Tugelbend]], [[Gravie Derment]] </td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle]] a.k.a. Illuminated Mages of the Unbroken Circle</td><td>[[Greyhald Spold]], [[Rhunlet Vard]]</td><td>the unbroken circle is apparently quite important: there are two orders named after it (either that or the members of the Unbroken Circle refer to themselves in two different ways?)</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brothers of the Order of Midnight]]</td><td>[[Lumuel Panter]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Venerable Council of Seers]]</td><td>[[Ganmack Treehallet]]</td><td> [[Spelter]] was a member of the order  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brotherhood of the Hoodwink]] a.k.a. the Hoodwinkers</td><td>[[Jiglad Wert]], [[Marmaric Carding]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Mrs Widgery's Lodgers]]</td><td>[[Ransak Boggett]] </td><td>the oldest of the current orders dating back to the founding of the university when living space was at a premium</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[The Last Order]] a.k.a. the Other Order</td><td>[[Eliaz Churn]] </td><td> </td></tr>
</table>

It could be added here that the massive magical war that took place in {{S}} seriously depleted the ranks of Wizardry and the original Eight Orders. Afterward, in the hangover that followed the passing of the [[Sourcerer]], and an awareness that it might not be wise for Wizards to shout about it too much - not to mention the accession of [[Mustrum Ridcully]] as Archchancellor - the Eight Orders seem to have declined in relative importance and influence - we hear less about the individual Orders and more about the collegiate integrity of the University as a whole. Perhaps their importance as hotbeds of plotting and mutual hatred made sense in the old, more fluid, University politics, but today, with one relatively unkillable Archchancellor, are something of an anachronism.

== Sub-wizards ==
{{ER}} tells us that people who can't make it as wizards may end up as (in descending order):

* [[Magicians]]
* [[Conjurers]]
* [[Thaumaturgists]]

There are also dismissive references to [[enchantress|enchantresses]] (witches with a nice set of legs) and [[Warlock_(profession)|warlocks]] (male witches).

==Books==
Wizards appear in various supporting or leading roles in the following books in several capacities:
:as people who try to take advantage of [[Rincewind]].
:as people who investigate anomalies in reality.
:as people who advance hypotheses about the space-time continuum.
:as tinkerers of reality.

*{{TCOM}}
*{{TLF}}
*{{ER}}
*{{S}}
*{{E}}
*{{MP}}
*{{RM}}
*{{LL}}
*{{SM}}
*{{IT}}
*{{H}}
*{{TLC}}
*{{TLH}}
*{{UA}}
*{{SOD1}}
*{{SOD2}}
*{{SOD3}}
*{{SOD4}}
*''[[Short Story:A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices|A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices]]

[[Category:Wizards]]

Names of the Ants

2014-01-02T18:47:51Z

Confusion: Stub

Mentioned in {{E}}, this is a book written by [[Humptemper]]. Described as a strange book, half magical treatise, half autobiography.
{{stub}}

[[Category: Discworld publications]]
[[de:Des Prickelns Lösung]]

Talk:Splot

2014-01-02T18:46:28Z

Confusion: No alcohol

How could it be similar to the drinks linked? It was specifically explained that it had no alcohol, unlike either of the other drinks. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 18:46, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Splot

2014-01-02T18:41:38Z

Confusion: Typo in link

An invigorating herbal and medicinal drink which has marked restorative effects on the consumer. Known for centuries in [[Überwald]], any [[Igor]] worth his stitches knows the secret(1), and will happily brew a cup for a Marthter who is tired and in need of relaxation at the end of a long day. There is no alcohol in it '''''whatsoever''''', partly because alcohol cannot survive the company of the other ingredients, which Igor will vaguely define as ''tree-bark''. If pressed, Igor will also refer to '''''naturally occurring mineral salts''''', and then smoothly inform you that in Überwald, nothing gets a man out of bed in the morning and out working in six feet of snow to hammer through the plug of ice in the well faster than a mug of hot Splot.

It's just a shame that the human speech faculty cannot keep up with the surging thoughts and bright sparkly new ideas running through a Splot-permeated brain.

Later on, you may discover that belladonna is a herb, and arsenic salts are indeed a naturally occurring mineral. It is currently outlawed in many parts of modern Überwald.
[[Moist von Lipwig]] re-acquaints himself with a taste of home in [[Book:Making Money|Making Money]].

(1) It is not a word one wants to hear from an Igor, however. Not to one's face, at least.

It has been alleged that [[absinthe]] and ''[http://www.romefile.com/foodanddrink/fernet-branca.php this]'' are the nearest Roundworld equivalents, although both bear the same relationship to Splot that Nanny Ogg's original recipes do to the [[Book:Nanny Ogg's Cookbook|published versions]]...

[[Category:Food and drink]]
[[de:Splot]]

Talk:Legendes and Antiquities of the Ramtops

2014-01-02T18:35:16Z

Confusion: Never mind

Mss. Weatherwax is surely a Legende of the Ramtops; you don't have to call her an Antiquity. (Actually, I shouldn't, if I were you.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 00:26, 7 May 2011 (CEST)

Talk:Legendes and Antiquities of the Ramtops

2014-01-02T18:34:08Z

Confusion: Perhaps it's from the future

Mss. Weatherwax is surely a Legende of the Ramtops; you don't have to call her an Antiquity. (Actually, I shouldn't, if I were you.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 00:26, 7 May 2011 (CEST)

It could also be a book from the future, written about the event when it was at least a legend, if not an antiquity. Nobody said that these books weren't written about the history of Discworld. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 18:34, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End

2014-01-02T06:53:28Z

Confusion: Stub

'''A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End''' is a famous drinking song, first mentioned in {{WS}}.
Due to the song being built around ''double entendres'', [[Nanny Ogg]] has taken a shine to it, and she will happily belt it out to the night sky along with the also less-than-wholesome ''[[Hedgehog Song]]''.

A version of the song, performed by Dave Greenslade, is available on the CD ''[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Terry-Pratchetts-Discworld-Dave-Greenslade/dp/B0000070MA Terry Pratchett's From the Discworld.]''

{{stub}}

[[Category: Discworld culture]]
[[de:Des Zauberers Stab hat einen Knauf am Ende]]

Talk:Traps and Deadfalls

2014-01-02T06:45:42Z

Confusion: Nivor is still alive?

Or maybe Nivor died. Wasn't he only encountered in {{P}}? And isn't the current chronology that it was a while ago? Even if not, Assassins can have short life expectancies, especially teachers when there is a rumor that killing your examiner counts as passing. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 06:45, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Talk:Professor of Slood Dynamics

2014-01-02T06:40:01Z

Confusion: No slood on Discworld?

Where does it say that slood was not found on Discworld? I thought the joke was that either Roundworld surprisingly didn't have it or that we are too stupid to discover it. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 06:40, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Talk:Diamond King

2014-01-02T06:29:33Z

Confusion: Metamorphorical rock

The [[Trolls]] article does say a Diamond Troll is "made entirely of diamond", but I wonder if that's supported. Other trolls aren't pure anything. By their names, Ruby, Pyrites and Corundum are externally non-silicaceous and Coalface must carry some carbon. I suspect the diamond exterior protects the usual
doped-silicon brain and mineral metabolism. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 14:18, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

After all, all trolls are capable of naturally making some diamond as part of their biology -all trolls have diamond teeth - so it isn't a great leap from here to the idea of a troll, who doesn't need to belong to a different carbon-based species, whose genes allow it to make more diamond than most. --[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 20:01, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

:The troll king is special. Why wouldn't he be made entirely out of diamond? --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 21:11, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

You mean a different species again? I can just imagine crystalline carbon brains, but I can't see the supporting systems. Anyway, I thought Mr. Shine was still a troll. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 23:31, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

It is metamorphorical rock, it doesn't have to have the same properties as the equivalent real rock. For example, I assume that neither Coalface nor Chalky crumble under light pressure. They are not actually the rock that they appear to be made of. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 06:29, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Book:Going Postal/Annotations

2014-01-02T06:21:27Z

Confusion: Fixing the hospital

[[Annotations]] for the book {{GP}}
==By page number==
Page numbers refer to the U.S. edition

Cover - The cover design was inspired by the original ''Star Wars'' film poster, because there are other Star Wars references in the book.

Title- Around 1986 several mentally stressed U.S. Postal Service employees went on a shooting rampage at post offices, killing employees and bystanders. This resulted in the U.S. Postal Service (and many other organizations) re-evaluating employee work conditions and decreasing stress in the work place. The term has remained in U.S. slang for when an employee or ex-employee goes on a murder rampage at his workplace, though it is more used to predict that someone is getting upset with job conditions enough to go postal. In the book this emotional condition is perfectly represented by Stanley.

Character Annotation on Tolliver Groat:-

The name, the character description, and the Gormenghast-like Post office building, are straight out of Mervyn Peake: Tolliver Groat's personal take on the grotesque means that he could walk in to Peake's fantasy virtually as is. Indeed, Groat's dogged adherence to rule and ritual, his having practically memorised the Post Office rulebook long after the system has effectively collapsed and his insistence the rules still be followed because, well, they are the Rules, is reminiscent of Ghormenghast's Master of Ceremonies, the ageing, repellent, and soap-innocent Barquentine. Moist von Lipwig has arrived in the Post Office system in time to be a less malevolent Steerpike - ie, the character who shakes the system up and reinvigorates it. (Hmmm, Moist as Steerpike in a Ghormenghast-like system - the manipulative outsider who causes a stir and gets things done). Steerpike also, metaphorically and literally, climbs from the lowest Hell-like depths of the kitchens where is otherwise imprisoned for life as a lowly scullion, to the higher floors of the castle - via the ''outside'' of the building - where nobody questions his right to be there and he can re-integrate himself at a higher social level with a series of plausible cover stories. Compare this to Moist's resurrection from the dead and rebirth into a higher social position. The climbing metaphor becomes more explicit in {{MM}}, where, as with Steerpike's desperation climb, Moist is found edificeering on the exterior of his own building and just about to be exposed as a thief and a crook - for all the wrong reasons...

(p8) US hardcover- – reference to “the clacks”
– this is a Discworld version of a telegraph or fax machine and is based on “A semaphore telegraph, optical telegraph, shutter telegraph chain, Chappe telegraph, or Napoleonic semaphore is a system of conveying information by means of visual signals, using towers with pivoting shutters, also known as blades or paddles. Information is encoded by the position of the mechanical elements; it is read when the shutter is in a fixed position. These systems were popular in the late 18th - early 19th century.”(Wikipedia)

(p11) US hardcover - "They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man’s mind wonderfully”
– This is a paraphrase of a quote by Samuel Johnson: "Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully."

(p11) " 'Er... it's not as bad a thing I do now...er'"
– Perhaps this is a spoof of the famous speech Sidney Carton says before he is executed in Dickens' ''Tale of Two Cities''. There is some ironic similarity here. Carton stepped in nobly to die for another man whom he physically resembled. Here, Moist is being executed under the alias of Albert Spangler. In both cases, Carton and von Lipwig are dying under someone else's name.

(p12) "What you had to do in this life was get past the pineapple, Moist told himself. It was big and sharp and knobbly, but there might be peaches underneath. It was a myth to live by and so, right now, totally useless."
– This philosophy is mentioned many times in the book and sounds like a somewhat ironic send-up of Forrest Gump's philosophy about life and a box of chocolates.

(p13)US hardcover: Mr. Wilkinson “I told him, sir, that fruit baskets is like life: until you’ve got the pineapple off’t the top you never know what’s underneath.”
– Reminiscent of the Forrest Gump quote: “My momma always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.’”

A dialogue in {{TLC}} presages the whole ''getting past the pineapple'' bit. Corgi PB pp64-67, where amongst other things the Senior Wrangler discloses his aunt was a victim of one, a woman who literally could not get past the pineapple.

(p20) "They'd clamped it. They'd bloody clamped it...."
– The bright yellow tire lock (wheel boots) is sometimes used by law enforcement in our world for the same purpose.

(p22) "'Mr. [[Pump]] does not sleep. Mr. Pump does not eat. And Mr. Pump, Postmaster General, does not stop.'"
* Possibly a paraphrase from the 1984 film ''The Terminator'': "That Terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!"
* It's close to a quote from the 1999 film ''The Mummy'': "He will never eat, he will never sleep, and he will never stop."

(p23) "'Wait! Wait! There's a rule! A [[golems|golem]] mustn't harm a human being or allow a human being to come to harm!'"
– This is the first of Isaac Asimov's {{wp|Three_Laws_of_Robotics|Three Laws of Robotics}} (Golems are the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] equivalent of robots). Asimov, of course, didn't add the conditional "unless ordered to do so by duly constituted authority" that Vetinari did.

(p26) "'"NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GLO M OF NI T CAN STAY THESE MES ENGERS ABO T THEIR DUTY."'"
– The inscription on the General Post Office in New York City reads: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." This was also referenced in {{MAA}}.

(p26) "'Who's [[Mrs. Cake]]?... They seem pretty frightened of her."
– [[Mrs. Cake]], first introduced in ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'', is a psychic medium who, more importantly, runs a boarding house for the undead of Ankh-Morpork.

(p33)US hardcover(footnote) “Dimwell Arrhythmic Rhyming Slang” is a variation on Cockney rhyming slang. The example, “Apples and Pears” is from Cockney slang. Rhyming Slang phrases are derived from taking an expression which rhymes with a word and then using that expression instead of the word. For example the word "look" rhymes with "butcher's hook". In many cases the rhyming word is omitted - so you won't find too many Londoners having a "butcher's hook" at this site, but you might find a few having a "butcher's". The rhyming word is not always omitted so Cockney expressions can vary in their construction, and it is simply a matter of convention which version is used. (from http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk)

(p47) "'[Wings] on his hat and his ankles,' said Stanley. "So he could fly the messages at the speed of ... messages.'"
– Mercury (Hermes to the Greeks) was the messenger to the gods in general and Jupiter (Zeus) in particular. He's commonly depicted with a winged cap and ankles. As well as making a neat stand-alone joke, the concept of the modesty-saving fig-leaf also having wings neatly pokes fun at the reason ''why'' fig-leaves went on public statuary in the first place. These were a Victorian invention devised to spare unmarried ladies under thirty from the sight even of sculpted male genitalia, carved by their ''unthinking'' forebears in earlier centuries. statues up to and including Michelangelo's ''David'', which for several hundred years had flaunted all, were issued the standard fig-leaf. (The fig was chosen ostensibly because the Bible identifies it as the leaf used by Adam and Eve to cover their nakedness, when ''they saw they were naked, and they were ashamed''.) This contributor has been to the National Museum in Berlin, where a rotunda houses old statues on which, without exception, the penises of the males on display have been excised and drilled through, so as to house the mounting for the fig-leaf... ouch... Of course, a ''second'' referent for fig leaves with wings comes from wall frescoes discovered intact at the Roman sites of Pompeii and Herculaneum. On these imaginatively bawdy paintings, you may see that which the Victorians thought necessary to cover with a fig leaf, but flying round independently of any attached body, propelled by their very own sets of wings. In one mural, young women are trying to catch them as they buzz around in a flotilla... indeed, a popular lucky charm/religious amulet worn by Romans, frequently discovered in archaeological digs, was a pendant of an erect penis and testicles, with wings. This apparently symbolised fertility and good health as well as assuring a healthy sex life. It was worn around the neck in the same way other religions might wear a cross, or indeed a turtle. (Why do you get the feeling the wrong religion won in ancient Rome?) I also can't help thinking of the Special Air Service's winged dagger cap badge in a new and Freudian light here... Conflating these two concepts - Victorian prudery and healthy bawdiness - in the form of a confused-looking fig leaf with wings on, would suggest Ankh-Morpork is a place confused about what its attitude to sexuality should be... just like modern Britain, in fact!

Also note Om-as-Tortoise's desperate curse on Brother Nhumrod in {{SG}} (Corgi pb p 40) - ''"Your sexual organs to sprout wings and fly away!"

(p56) "'Be with you in jus't one moment, s'ir, I'm ju'st—'"
– Greengrocers throughout the English-speaking world (but in England in particular) are known for their persistent abuse of the apostrophe-ess combination on their handwritten signs.

(p63) "'The free golems work 24-8...."
– It's rarely mentioned anymore that the number [[7a|eight]] is magically significant on the Disc and tends to occur wherever our world would use a seven. In particular, the Discworld week is 8 days long. But at this point, go to your copy of {{GP}}, which is the first Discworld book to be separated into formal chapters. (Each has a heading where the chapter contents are summarised at the start, in the manner of a Victorian morality fable). Now look at the chapter heading for the one that comes in between Chapter Seven and Chapter Nine. Look ''closely'' at it.

(p72) "'However, I note that since you acquired the [[Grand Trunk Semaphore Company|Grand Trunk]] at a fraction of its value, breakdowns are increasing, the speed of messages has slowed down, and the cost to customers has risen.'"
– While there are some parallels to the Grand Trunk and America's now-broken AT&T telecommunications monopoly, there are far more parallels to the UK's British Telecom, which is still a monopoly there and has very few friends among its consumers. Interestingly, the history of BT is that it was originally part of the British Post Office and was still known as "Post Office Telecommunications" until 1980, shortly before it became privatized.

(p74) "'This, my lord'," said Gilt, gesturing to the little side table..."'Is this not an original [[hnaflbaflsniflwhifltafl]] slab?'"
–The Vikings were known to have played a game called hnefatafl (king's board). It consisted of a marked board and peg-like pieces and seems to have some similarities to backgammon. "Hnefatafl" seems to be the origin of the word used for the Discworld game.

Of course we learn much more about this game in {{T!}}

(p83)US hardcover: Stanley: “See a pin pick it up and all day long you’ll have a pin.”
– A variation on the Roundworld rhyme “See a pin pick it up, and all day long you’ll have good luck.” Often 'penny' is substituted for pin.

(p83) "'They were hand-drawn and had his trademark silver head with a microscopic engraving of a cockerel.'"
– Perhaps this is a reference to the fancy microscopic engravings computer chip designers use when endorsing their work.

(p96) "'Do you understand anything I'm saying?' shouted Moist. 'You can't just go around killing people!' 'Why Not?'"
– Paraphrasing from ''Terminator 2'' this time. John Connor: "You can't just go around killing people!" Terminator: "Why?" "What do you mean, why? Because you can't!" "Why?"

(p99(''British edition'')). Grandad's speech on "We keep that name moving in the Overhead", referring to the mysterious death of [[John Dearheart]] and the great unhappiness this has provoked among long-time Linesmen. The following text quotes almost verbatim from Glen Campbell's country and western hit ''Wichita Lineman'', about the life and death of an electrical lineman in the heart of the USA....

(p104(''Corgi edition'')) "It overwhelms the soul, very much like the state he elsewhere describes as ''Vonallesvolkommenunverstandlichdasdaskeit''. " – This German is a bit mangled. With proper spaces it is "Von Alles Vol'''l'''kommen unverständlich das das -keit" which translates as "from everything completely non-understandable (incomprehensible) the (neutrum) the (neutrum)" and a suffix changing a word into a noun (this might refer to "unverständlich": Unverständlichkeit would be incomprehensibility). This also appears to foreshadow the extensive employment of cod-German philosophy which defines Mr Nutt's character in {{UA}}

Freidegger is a clever pun on the famous German philosopher Heidegger[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heidegger]] who wrote about time. (And he is difficult to understand either in his native German or in a translation).
The German word "Frei" means "free", therefore suited to the recurring topic of freedom in the book. In German and posssibly also in Überwaldean, ''Freitag'' is a day of the week: ''Friday'', when most people are ''freed'' of the burden of having to work for a living and get the weekend to themselves. An advertising campaign for chocolate cleverly used the slogan ''That Friday Feeling'', and we have the acronym TGIF, for ''Thank God It's Friday!"'' to denote that expansive Friday-night feeling at the start of the weekend. (Although I should point out, in the name of accuracy, that the current name "[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday#Etymology Freitag]" is not derived from "Free - day" but from the old Norse Goddess [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freyja Freya])

(p105) "The Marthter ith having one of hith little thoireeth, thur"
– In the Rocky Horror (Picture) Show, the hunchbacked servant tells the innocents "You've come on a rather special night. The Master is having one of his affairs..."

(p106) "[[Reacher Gilt]] certainly looked like a pirate, with his long, curly black hair, pointed beard, and eyepatch. He was even said to have a parrot."
– The name "Reacher Gilt" is itself a pun on "Long John Silver", the pirate captain from Treasure Island. Gilt's name, appearance and libertarian-capitalist ideology has stronger resonances with Ayn Rand's charismatic capitalist hero John Galt and pirate Ragnar Danneskjold, from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_shrugged Atlas Shrugged]. There may also be suggestions of English billionaire playboy-investor [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_branson Richard Branson].

''There may also be links and distant echoes to the plot and characters of Shea and Wilson's '''''Illuminatus!''''' trilogy, also in this context a work of satire which parodies Ayn Rand's right-wing libertarian and extreme free-market philosophy. In this book, a "book within a book" is a parody of Ayn Rand's polemic, called ''Telemachus Sneezed''.''



(p106) "Twelve and a half percent! Twelve and a half percent!"
– As Moist almost explains later in the book, this is a financial joke. Long John Silver's parrot always repeated "Pieces of eight!" Pieces of eight were one-eighth pieces of a gold dollar coin. A dollar is one hundred cents, and one hundred percent make a whole. Twelve and a half percent, then, is exactly one-eighth of a dollar--a piece of eight.

(p129) "les buggeures risible"
– Pig French for "Silly Buggers", a common English slang term for deliberately obstructive activity. ("Someone's playing silly buggers, here...")

(p131) "This was going to be...ironic. They'd actually got hold of Lipwigzers!"
– The author possibly seems to be punning on Weimaraners ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weimaraner]), which are a German breed of dog that take their name from the Grand Duke of Weimar, Karl August. The cover of the UK edition depicts two dogs similar in appearance to Rottweilers. (And there is [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rottweil Rottweil])

(p131) US hardcover: Worshipful Master: “Yes, well, you know what we used to say: you do have to be mad to work here!”
– a spin on the Roundworld saying: “You don’t have to be mad to work here but it helps”
This is reinforced on (page 165) when Moist looks at the unfortunate selection of mugs Stanley has used for preparing tea for him and Sacharissa Cripslock. The cup Moist receives has a jokey message which has faded from ''You don’t have to be mad to work here but it helps'' to '''''Be mad - it helps!'''''

(As in American slang "mad" tends to mean "angry" rather than "crazy", I wonder if this is also an echo of Susan's maxim from Hogfather - don't get scared, get angry?)

(p137) "'Look, I'm not the One you're looking for!'"
– Possibly, but not clearly, a reference to Neo's role as the One in the ''Matrix'' films. Or, more likely, a reference to Graham Chapman's increasingly perplexed and angry Brian in Monty Python's ''The Life of Brian''. This is also the title of a song by American goth-rockers the [[Blue Öyster Cult]], about having to settle not for what you ''want'', but for the best deal you can actually ''get''. Another possible reference is to the film ''{{wp|Star Wars_Episode_IV:_A New Hope|Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope}}'' in which Obi-Wan Kenobi uses the force to deceive soldiers saying: "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

(p137) "Deliver Us!"
– A pun on the Israelites' cry from the Biblical book of Exodus.

(p146) "'Three and a bit, that's the ticket. Only [[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson|Bloody Stupid Johnson]] said that was untidy, so he designed a wheel where the pie was exactly three.'"
– There's an old mathematical limerick about this very
:It's a favorite hobby of mine
:A new value for pi to assign.
:I would set it to three
:'Cause it's simpler, you see,
:Than three point one four one five nine.

It also reminds me of the story of the legislature of an US state setting a definitive value for Pi.

Quote: ''It happened in Indiana. Although the attempt to legislate pi was ultimately unsuccessful, it did come pretty close. In 1897 Representative T.I. Record of Posen county introduced House Bill #246 in the Indiana House of Representatives. The bill, based on the work of a physician and amateur mathematician named Edward J. Goodwin (Edwin in some accounts), suggests not one but three numbers for pi, among them 3.2, as we shall see. The punishment for unbelievers I have not been able to learn, but I place no credence in the rumor that you had to spend the rest of your natural life in Indiana.'' Full story here [[http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_341.html]].

The urban legend spoofing the creationism struggle here [[http://www.snopes.com/religion/pi.asp]]

(p153) "My gods, it's you! I thought for a second sun had appeared in the sky!" (Spike reacts from seeing Lipwig in his golden suit for the first time.) On first reading, it may appear that something is wrong with this sentence. However, if punctuated thus: "I thought, for a second, sun had appeared in the sky!", the interpretation is clearer.

(p156) "'Coo, you're a good draw-er, Mr. Lipwig. That looks just like Lord [[Vetinari]]!' 'That's the penny stamp,' said Moist.'"
– In our world, British Postmaster-General Sir Rowland Hill designed and introduced the first penny stamp, with a profile of Queen Victoria, in 1840 after much political debate. As on the Discworld, stamp collectors began to appear almost immediately afterward.

It's interesting that Moist writes "Post Office" on his stamps. In our world, this happened once as a mistake when the stamps for Mauritius were designed. There's a nice story how the engraver forgot the correct wording (Postage Paid), took a walk to the Post Office to ask, but when he saw the sign "Post Office" turned back without asking and wrote that on the stamp. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Penny]]

(p156)US hardcover: When Moist shows her his stamp designs, Adora says “What’s this? You carry your etchings with you to save time?”
– Adora’s referring to the phrase "Want to come up and see my etchings," a romantic cliché in which a man entices a woman to come back to his place with an offer to look at something artistic.

(p167) "Gently, the paper tore down the line of holes."
– Perforated stamp sheets didn't appear until 1857 in the U.S., seventeen years after the penny stamp was introduced.

(p175) "'I won't be long. I'm off to see the wizard.'"
– The author has probably been waiting years to use this line from Frank L. Baum's ''The Wizard of Oz''.

(p176) "Just below the dome, staring down from their niches, were statues of the Virtues: Patience, Chastity, Silence, Charity, Hope, [[Tubso]], [[Bissonomy]], and Fortitude."
– The seven Virtues in our world (the Discworld has eight) are Hope, Charity, Faith, Justice, Temperance, Fortitude, and Prudence. Their frescoed images adorn the Scrovegni Chapel in Padua, Italy.

(p176) "These [books] are not on the public shelves lest untrained handling cause the collapse of everything that is possible to imagine.* (footnote: Again.)
– There's a popular quote from Douglas Adams' ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'': "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory, which states that this has already happened."

Less likely is that it is a reference to the alleged destruction of the universe that happened when the B.S. Johnson's Sorting Engine was shut down, as described on page 149 (US hardcover).

(p.179) "... and in those caves are entombed more than a hundred thousand old books, mostly religious, each one in a white linen shroud....intelligent people have always known that some words at least should be disposed of with care and respect."
– In Jerusalem old or damaged Bibles and Torahs are buried in special tombs rather than destroyed. The tradition is that words are sacred and have power. The Hebrew name for such depository is "geniza", not exactly the wizards' "gevaisa", but enough to make you wonder...

(p181) "'Where do they go [when they die]?' 'No one's sure, exactly, but you can hear the sounds of cutlery,' said Pelc...."
– The Viking concept of the afterlife for warriors, Valhalla, was basically an enormous and never-ending feasting hall. University wizards are likewise known for their love of a good large meal.

(p197) "But, in truth, Boris- once you got past the pineapple- wasn't too bad a ride. He'd hit his rhythm, a natural, single-footed gait..." – Single-footing is a smooth, four beat "running walk" that some horse breeds (example: Icelandic, North American Single-footer, Rocky Mountain Saddle Horse) do naturally, sometimes as fast as other horses canter. At its fastest (racing single-foot), only one foot hits the ground at a time- hence the name. The single-foot gait is very smooth and easy on a rider if he uses a special saddle and sits further back on the horse. Moist is riding bareback, carrying a heavy load over his shoulder and leaning forward so he does not get the full effect. However, he seems quite amazed Boris is smoother than expected.

(p200) "'Er... Joe Camels, sir,' he said nervously. 'I'm the mayor here...'"
– Joe Camel was the (un)official name of the now-defunct mascot of Camel Cigarettes. The resemblance to the mayor ends with the name, however.

(p204) "And her hair was plaited and coiled up on either side of her head in those discs that back home in Uberwald had been called 'snails,' but in Anhk-Morpork put people in mind of a woman with a curly iced bun clamped to each ear."
– Think of old German beer waitresses, not Princess Leia from ''Star Wars''.

(p224) "'Tell me,' said Moist, 'have you ever heard of something called the Smoking Gnu?'"
– A pun on "The Smoking Gun", a newsletter published by the Lone Gunmen, a trio of computer hackers (or crackers) from the television series The X-Files, on whom the members of the Smoking Gnu are based. The ''gun'' → ''gnu'' joke has also been used in Mr. Pratchett's book for children, ''[[Book:Truckers|Truckers]]'', Chapter 9, in which a young [[Nomes|Nome]] named Vinto Pimmie persistently misreads "gun" as "gnu". The real meaning of the word "gnu" refers to a species of large antelope. "Gnu" also evokes the [http://www.gnu.org/ Free Software Foundation], which promotes the development and distribution of free software.

(p230) "'What is sticking in your foot is a Mitzy "Pretty Lucretia" four-inch heel, the most dangerous footwear in the world. Considered as pounds per square inch, it's like being trodden by a very pointy elephant. Now, I know what you're thinking: you're thinking, "Could she press it all the way through to the floor?" And, you know, I'm not sure about that myself....'"
– Adapted from Clint Eastwood's famous challenge in ''Dirty Harry'': "I know what you're thinkin', punk. You're thinkin', did he fire six shots or only five? And to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But bein' this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it'll blow your head clean off, you could ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

(p235) "But now it was time to put away childish pins."
– "When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." – 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV) (the King James version has "but when I became a man, I put away childish things")

(p249) "'There's the Lady Sybil Free Hospital,' said Miss Dearheart. 'Is it any good?' 'Some people don't die.' 'That good, eh?'"
The hospital is most likely built and run by Dr. Lawn on the land and with the money given to him by Commander Vimes after the events of {{NW}} and named after his wife Sybil Ramkin.

(p259)US hardcover: Moist’s idea of what a master criminal could buy: “seaside properties with real lava flows near a reliable source of piranhas” sounds like the hideout of typical James Bond villains.

(p.260(Doubleday hardcover)) "Even Miss Extremelia Mume ... was doing good business among those prepared to back an outside chance. She'd hung a banner over the door. It read: 'It Could Be YOU'".<br />
This, along with the following paragraph's musings on hope, clearly refers to the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Lottery_%28United_Kingdom%29 UK National Lottery] (also known as the Tax For Innumerates). The Discworld people are making small donations/prayers to the temples hoping for a monetary windfall like Moist just got. It's obvious when you remember that a 90s TV campaign for the lottery featured a giant sparkly hand coming out of the clouds to point at winners... and their slogan at the time was "It Could Be YOU" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91FlHbqnU0o].

(p263) "The nave of the temple was deserted, except for a little old man in a grubby robe, dreamily sweeping the floor."
This detail is out of place, unless it's a reference to Lu-Tze. Possibly the History Monks have taken an interest in the Post Office, or kicking Reacher Gilt out before he can become Patrician. For the History Monks to have somebody keeping an eye on an institution where a machine (the Sorting Engine) is capable of bending time and space is only logical, as well as the evidential detail that it was installed perhaps thirty years before the "present" - ie, roughly the same time that Samuel Vimes re-enters time in {{NW}}. So if the destruction of one time-bending machine (the Glass Clock) is responsible for taking Vimes ''out'' of time, then the switching-on of a second time-bending machine (the Sorting Engine) might have been the trigger event dictating when Vimes and Carcer were ''returned'' to normal space-time? (Or ''delivered'', so to speak) Alternately, it ''could'' just be a guy sweeping up after services, as the Men In Saffron don't have a monopoly on wearing robes, particularly in a temple.

(p276) Lipwig's musing about Gilt not needing "a tower with ten thousand trolls camped outside" brings to mind Saruman from ''The Lord of the Rings''.

(p279) US hardcover: Moist says "your big words tell them it’s going to be jam tomorrow and they hope."
– a reference to ''Alice in Wonderland'', in which the Queen offers Alice jam every other day: "The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday - but never jam to-day."

(p287) US hardcover:‘Tump Tower’ refers to the Trump Tower, built by Donald Trump in New York City

(p293) "Deliver them, of course. You've got to. You are the messenger of the gods."
– Another reference to Mercury.

(p300) US Hardcover: The ‘crackers’ who disrupt the Clacks line are remarkably like Roundworld computer hackers

(p304) "'There's cabbage soup, cabbage beer, cabbage fudge, cabbage cake, cream of cabbage—'"
– Stanley's stream of cabbage recipes parallels Bubba's list of shrimp dishes in the movie Forrest Gump, and Monty Python's Spam sketch.
* Also used in ''The Science Of Discworld II'', when Rincewind obsessively recites all the potato recipes he can think of to prevent the elf Queen from reading his thoughts.

(p308) "'Did you spot how the swage armature can be made to jump off the elliptical bearing if you hit the letter K and then send it to a tower with an address higher than yours but only if you hit the letter Q first and the drum spring is fully wound?'"
– Certain early (and some current) computer systems could be made to fail in similar ways. Unlikely character strings can sometimes, in binary, be interpreted as system codes and cause security breaches or outright system failures. Likewise, early mechanical typewriters could lock up if the wrong series of letters were pressed in quick succession, a phenomenon which the QWERTY keyboard was designed to make less likely.

(p326) Harper paperback: Miss Dearheart says, "You know how to pray, don't you? You just put your hands together -- and hope." A play on Lauren Bacall's famous line in the 1944 film "To Have and Have Not," "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."

(p319) "'All right, but why "Smoking GNU"?' said Moist. 'That's cracker slang for a very fast message-send throughout the system,' said Sane Alex pointedly."
– In our world, GNU is also a recursive acronym for "GNU's Not Unix", and the GNU Project is an ongoing effort to develop a free operating system compatible with commercial Unix.

(p326) "'I call it baize-space,' said [[Ponder Stibbons]] proudly."
– 'Baize' is the name given to the felt-like cloth used to cover billiards tables. As Stibbons points out later, it's also a pun on "phase space".

(p339) "'But it's a book!' said Mr. Pony. 'It'll take all night to code! And there's diagrams!'"
– It was established in ''[[Book:Monstrous Regiment|Monstrous Regiment]]'' that the clacks towers could send images slowly by transmitting codes for pixel data, exactly the way computers do.

(p352) "'It's still not working, Mr. Stibbons!' he bellowed. "Here's that damn enormous fiery eye again!'"
– In J.R.R. Tolkien's ''The Lord of the Rings'', Sauron appeared as a great fiery cat's eye in visions and metaphoric descriptions. In Peter Jackson's movie adaptations, the Eye appears (aside from a literal interpretation on top of Sauron's fortress) in the palantíri (seeing-stones), which have a very similar function to the University's [[omniscope]].

(p360) "'Gilt can kiss my—' Grandad began, then remembered the present company and finished: '–donkey.'"
– A reference to American use of ''ass'', an old word for donkey, in place of ''arse''.

(p361) "'... I'm close to translating the mating call of the giant clam...'"
– TP likes to drop hints of corny old jokes. Place your forearms in front of your face one laid on top of the other. Very slowly open them so that only your eyes are visible between them and swivel your eyes from side to side. That's the mating call of the giant clam.

(p341) Right at the end of {{GP}} when the game is up and the financial corruption of the Trunk board is revealed, Stowley fakes amnesia and loss of his short-term memory as a desperate ploy to avoid prosecution. This hopefully didn't fool Vetinari for one moment, but the Roundworld referent is more depressing:

Charged with a range of financial misdemeanours in the late 1980's, including false accounting, fraud, embezzlement and tax evasion, Ernest Saunders, a senior member of the Guinness brewing and finance family, provided medical testimonials that he was suffering from Alzheimer's Disease and had no recollection of the sequence of events that had led him to court. As genuine sufferers of Alzheimer's know, one of the first symptoms of the disease is the loss of short-term memory. The judge took his plea of being unable to face charges on medical grounds seriously, and released him with a short suspended sentence where otherwise he might have been looking at several years inside.

Incredibly, he made a full and complete recovery from Alzheimer's shortly after his court appearance, perhaps the only man in medical history to ever have reversed the progress of this disease. TP of all people would have an absolute right to hold somebody faking Alzheimer's as a "get-out-of-jail-free" card up to scorn, satire and ridicule.

Refer to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinness_share-trading_fraud|ref._Guinness share-trading fraud] for the full story, including Saunders' miracle recovery from Alzheimer's.

==Odds and ends==
Apologies if this is in the wrong place or noted elsewhere but the reference to the Matron will be to the Harridan played by (almost exclusively) Hattie Jacques in the various Carry On films concerning the UK NHS.-- SJC 2 June 2010 (BST)

'''Moist von Lipwig'''
:While I haven't found a good source for Germanic interpretations / history of the name, a 'lip-wig' is a slang term for a moustache. Hence 'von Lipwig' = 'of the (fake) moustache' - very fitting for a conman who relies on the addition of distinguishing features to disguise his undistinguished face. --[[User:SiD|SiD]] 22:18, 13 November 2006 (CET)

- '''[p. 17-18 (UK Corgi PB)]''' "'Er... would you mind signing the rope beforehand, sir? ... Worth more signed, of course.'" - Daniel "One Drop" Trooper
:Gotta love the irony that Moist von Lipwig / Albert Spangler, the consummate con-man, is helping his ''executioner'' to get 'money for old rope'! --[[User:SiD|SiD]] 22:18, 13 November 2006 (CET)

- '''[p. 47 (UK Corgi PB)]''' "A large black and white cat had walked into the room"
:Does the colour remind anyone else of Postman Pat's cat, Jess?

- '''[p. 187 (UK Corgi PB)]''' "'Actually it is the Sorting Engine,' said Groat. 'It's the curse of the Post Office, sir. It had imps in it for the actual reading of the envelopes, but they all evaporated years ago.'"
:While imps are of course used as the basis for a lot of Discworld technology, I doubt many people outside the Royal Mail know that the huge sorting machines in every mail centre are called '''I'''ntegrated '''M'''ail '''P'''rocessors - known as IMPs for short! --[[User:SiD|SiD]] 22:18, 13 November 2006 (CET)

- '''[p. 352(UK Corgi PB)p.330 (Doubleday hardcover)]'''

"I'm sure we have the right-" Ponder began.

This echoes Aragorn in ''Lord of the Rings/Two Towers'', when he wrests control of the Palantir from Sauron, and the next morning is seen looking drawn and exhausted from the mental and psychic strain of doing direct battle with the dark lord.

"I had the right, but barely" he explained to Gandalf.

While I agree that the the "fiery eye" is intended to be reminiscent of Sauron it is clearly not actually Sauron but merely the eye of Dr Collabone; red from allergies and enormous from peering too closely at his end of the omniscope.
--[[User:Neilxt|Neilxt]] 05:03, 21 August 2007 (CEST)

(p137) "'Look, I'm not the One you're looking for!'" - For some, this resonates with Obi-Wan's use of the Jedi mind trick to escape storm troopers -- "These aren't the droids you're looking for." This is annotated elsewhere on the Wiki as – Possibly, but not clearly, a reference to Neo's role as the One in the ''Matrix films''. Or, perhaps the most likely, a reference to Graham Chapman's increasingly perplexed and angry Brian in Monty Python's ''The Life of Brian'' when chased by hordes of adoring wannabe disciples. Or even [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOpxt3CpZBk|this_song]this song...

(p313) "'You know how to pray, don't you? You just put your hands together -- and hope.'" - obviously based on Lauren Bacall's famous line from "To Have and Have Not", to Humphrey Bogart: "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow." Bacall's character's nickname is "Slim", and this is echoed in the affectionate nicknames of Moist and Dearheart, "Slick" and "Spike". --[[User:Eitheladar|Eitheladar]] 07:47, 31 December 2007 (CET)

(p??) The entire episode of a mail coach vs. the clacks system transporting the contents of a book evokes a saying that is well-known among us computer science types: "Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes". It's also known in other forms, e.g. "It's faster to send a petabyte of data to Hong Kong by sailboat than over the internet". Pratchett doesn't explicitly reference this saying, but he has created an instructive example of the difference between latency and bandwidth: while it takes less time for the start of a message to arrive via the clacks towers, the mail coach has an advantage when the size of the message is large (e.g. in case of sending the contents of a book, or even a large number of letters).

(p??) The crackers' blocking of the light and substitution of their own portable clacks tower is an example of what computer scientists and security researchers refer to as a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man-in-the-middle_attack man-in-the-middle attack].

(p??) "'Ha, even the damn soup there is fifteen dollars!' said Moist" - Very likely a reference to The Blues Brothers, also referenced sporadically throughout Soul Music. When the Brothers visit a former band member - now Maître d' in a posh Chicago restaurant - at his place of work, he encourages them to leave on the basis that they can't afford to eat there, remarking "Come on guys..let me buy you a cup of coffee. The soup here is f*cking ten dollars."

[[Category:Annotations|Going Postal/Annotations]]

Talk:Book:Going Postal/Annotations

2014-01-02T06:14:27Z

Confusion: /* Moved from main page */

WARNING: This page is 33 kilobytes long; some browsers may have problems editing pages approaching or longer than 32kb. Please consider breaking the page into smaller sections.

we may need to move new annotations onto a new page--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 09:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)?

This warning shows up on others, too, but is anyone actually having a problem? Firefox works fine regardless and I suspect the warning is a relic of obsolete browsers. ([[Talk:Main Page]] is 41KB.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 21:03, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

== Temple of Offler/Sausages ==

Surprised this one wasn't mentioned, but isn't the idea that 'crocodiles love sausages' a reference to Punch and Judy?

== The" Illuminatus! "connection? ==

Original text:-

Shea and Wilson's ''Illuminatus!'' trilogy also parodies Ayn Rand with its creation of charismatic anarchist hero [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagbard_celine Hagbard Celine], a direct parody of Ragnar Danneskjold. Although Hagbard is temperamentally and politically on the side of those who throw grit into the machine belonging to the Gilts, Galts and Dannesskjolds, such as Moist von Lipwig...

Objection noted. How about use of text: "There may also be links and distant echoes to the plot and characters of Shea and Wilson's ''Illuminatus!'' trilogy, also in this context a work of satire which parodies Ayn Rand's right-wing libertarian philosophy."

--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 14:03, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

== Back to the future reference ==

When Moist goes to the University's library for the first time, the Wizard in there tells him not to say anything and straps him into a machine that's supposed to read his mind. This is strikingly similar to the scene in Back to the future(1), where Marty McFly goes to the Doc for the first time in 1955, The Doc grabs him telling him not to say anything and straps him into a machine to try and read his mind. both the Doc in the movie and the Wizard in the book, have little success in their attempt.

I cant remember the exact quote from the movie, since I don't have it right now. if anyone can provide the quote it would be great.

--[[User:Behp|Behp]] 01:56, 07 May 2010 (UTC)

== Carry On Matron ==

Well done for spotting Hattie Jacques! She really did present the Maccalariat-lite persona of the British hospital matron of legend so much better than everyone else... the nearest recent representaion is the character that Oscar-wining Irish actress Brenda Fricker[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brenda_Fricker] did for so long in "Casualty" (note for non-Brits: "Casualty" is the long-running British TV version of "ER" with less glamour and glitz and more blood and guts - although "Nurse Jackie" is a recent American take on the theme that we cynical Brits can relate to a lot more, an overworked nurse in an underfunded and over-bureaucratized shabby failing hospital.)

Now we just need the following characters:

*busty saucy young nurse (Barbara Windsor)
*green and inexperienced junior doctor (Jim Dale)
*slightly fey and cultured older doctor the Matron is secretly in love with (Kenneth Williams)
* An assortment of bolshie hypochondriachal or just workshy Ankh-Morpork patients who realise that with waitress service and three named-meat meals a day, they're on a better deal than home--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 11:54, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
...and Sid James as CMOT Dibbler. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 21:52, 2 June 2010 (UTC)

== Page numbers ==
Is there a preferable system for the references page numbers? The US page numbers don't help me, as I have a UK Doubleday edition. UKDD page numbers could take preference as the "main" edition of the book, but if I went and changed them all, the people with US editions wouldn't be pleased! Unless there's a syntax for listing multiple editions... [[User:JaffaCakeLover|JaffaCakeLover]] 13:35, 11 September 2010 (CEST)

==Odds and Ends==
The "Odds and Ends" section has turned into discussions: shouldn't it be reduced to just the references, or the whole thing moved onto this talk page? [[User:JaffaCakeLover|JaffaCakeLover]] 13:37, 11 September 2010 (CEST)

==A provocative idea==
Worth acknowledging tvtropes, and copying it to here. At the end of {{GP}}, Reacher Gilt is a fugitive with an Assassins' Guild contract fee on his head. Mr Pump beings him back as a prisoner. Gilt is offered an angel but refuses. He then takes that one last step to freedom.
Havelock Vetinari is an Assassins' Guild member. It can be reasoned that he has inhumed or caused to be inhumed a man on whom there is now a big Guild fee. Therefore he can claim that fee. It is, after all, coming from some very rich men who have been inconvenienced by Gilt and can be productively spent by Vetinari on the Undertaking or on related expenses, like repairing the clacks and getting a strategically vital communications tool fully functioning. Lord Downey, who stands to get a standard 50% of that fee in Guild tax, will not object to a fellow Guild member getting the other 50%. So the Inhumation Bell rings for a contract concluded by Havelock Vetinari...

==Albert Spangler==
Is it just me, or does Albert Spangler (Moist's 'main' alias, at least in the UK editions) has strong overtones of Robert Vaughn's con-man character Albert Stroller in the BBC TV series Hustle? [[User:DigitalRaven|DigitalRaven]] 10:19, 24 May 2012 (CEST)

==Moved from main page==

This one:
<blockquote>(p249) "'There's the Lady Sibyl Free Hospital,' said Miss Dearheart. 'Is it any good?' 'Some people don't die.' 'That good, eh?'" - Lady Sibyl Vimes nee Ramkin, of course, is the wife of Commander Vimes of the Watch, the Duchess of Ankh-Morpork, and in terms of assets, the wealthiest woman in the city. Up until now she's devoted herself to caring for swamp dragons, and horse doctors in Ankh-Morpork were considered more reliable for people than people doctors.</blockquote>

I thought the hospital was run by Dr. Lawn, who appears in Nightwatch? I thought this was a reference to him, considering his help in that book. --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 13:32, 10 January 2006 (CET)
:1. I agree it is evident that Dr. Lawn is the man running the place.
:2. What does "freehold" mean? Sam Vimes "signed over the freehold" to Dr. Lawn.
:3. How is the hospital financed so that services remain free? It may be from the "large amount of money" that Vimes signed over to Dr. Lawn, or it may be more donations from Lady Sybil. This point is unclear as of ''Going Postal''. I don't know if there's any new illumination in ''Thud!''.
:4. This annotation can certainly be improved. Adding the involvement of Dr. Lawn, for example.
By the way I checked The Discworld Companion, the name is Sybil, "y" first, and then "i". --[[User:Vsl|Vsl]] 00:38, 11 January 2006 (CET)

"Freehold" is a British legal term for land holding. Essentially it means that the land is owned outright, and there is no need to pay rent to anyone else. As to the name of the hospital, it's not unknown for hospitals and the like to be named after important personages, which, as Duchess of Ankh-Morpork, Lady Sibyl/Sybil certainly is; she doesn't have to have personally funded the hospital, although of course she might have. --[[User:Apalmer|Apalmer]] 12:12, 25 March 2006 (CET)

The same usage of "freehold" appears in ''Men At Arms'', when Vimes points out that he ''does'' own the Assassins' Guildhouse.
:OK, so we know Dr. Lawn owns and runs the place. The starting funds were likely the payment from Vimes. Lady Sybil may or may not have continued donating. The hospital is named in her honor because she's a city dignitary and after all the land was given to Dr. Lawn for her.--[[User:Vsl|Vsl]] 17:04, 17 May 2006 (CEST)

What I really worry about is that the original writer of this annotation may have thought that the large woman (the matron) who stops Moist from taking Mr. Groat out of the hospital was actually Lady Sybil herself, i.e. Lady Sybil is personally present on the site and acting as the matron, just like she often is present at Sunshine Sanctuary working on the dragons. The annotation gave me that impression. Although the matron is large like Lady Sybil and says "hwhat" in a haughty fashion, I think it's clear that she's a career nurse, not Lady Sybil. Lady Sybil would likely dislike working on patients sticky from illnesses; they are not dragons, and they are not brave young men wounded in battles. Dr. Lawn would have been uneasy to have a duchess as an actual working staff member, and if it's Lady Sybil, Dr. Lawn would not have made the comment about throwing chocolates to distract the nurses.--[[User:Vsl|Vsl]] 17:04, 17 May 2006 (CEST)

* Plus, Sybil does have a young baby to take care of at home, as well as an unspecified number of swamp dragons. Even if she were inclined to volunteer at Dr. Lawn's clinic, as a believer in traditional wifely duties, she'd surely wait until Young Sam is a good deal older before undertaking such work outside the home.

With regard to the question of how the hospital is funded: As I understand it, free hospitals in Victorian Britain generally kept going through a combination of voluntary donations (such as the one Dr Lawn solicits from Moist), careful investment, being largely staffed with volunteers, and (I believe) a sort of financial inertia where most of the time they couldn't ''afford'' to go bankrupt. [[User:Daibhid C|Daibhid C]] 15:18, 26 October 2006 (CEST)

If we all agree, I will fix it and remove the disclaimer. By the way, aren't the annotations for pages 12 and 13 the same? --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 06:14, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Page 224 - the Smoking Gnu - I always thought the choice of gnu was more in geeky reference to Gnu Not Unix rather than the mammal given the circumstances...maybe I was reading too much into it at the time.
:Updated it and clarified that "gnu" as mammal was for ''Truckers'', likely not for ''Going Postal''. Now somebody please tell us what "Gnu Not Unix" means...--[[User:Vsl|Vsl]] 17:04, 17 May 2006 (CEST)
:Its a free source code software foundation kind of thing, which writes all kinds of wonderful source code for Unix systems ... its kind of a recursive name. "Its GNU not UNIX" says Peter, "What does GNU stand for?" says Paul, "Its GNU not UNIX!!!!!" says Peter....very geeky but true. I promise to unanonimise myself sometime.....

Note that Ridcully exclaims "Here's that damn enormous fiery eye again!"

The tell-tale ''"again"'' is interesting. The [[omniscope]] can see ''everything that can, will, has, should or might happen in all possible universes'' (p329, Doubleday). Therefore it can logically open up a window into Middle Earth: which Tolkien tells us was originally a flat Discworld, (although he is silent on the topic of elephants and turtles). Two Discworlds should resonate in harmony together, making psychic links between them more, rather than less, possible. This suggests there already has been that contact, although the wizards are understandably ignorant of the full detail. It makes an odd kind of sense: Sauron would be naturally drawn to any signs of Wizardly activity he detects through the Palantir, which was designed with six others like it to link together as a sort of "Internet". The natural tendency would be for it to link up to a related magical device or devices elsewhere in the universe. Of course, Sauron might not be aware that the Palantir has linked him to another phase of reality. Gandalf(yearning to look upon the Middle-Earth of his distant boyhood) tells us it can see through to other times and places (effectively making it an Omniscope). And it's just as well the wizards do not know the full story and have no seeming inclination to find out, or Ridcully might well want to lead the Faculty to Middle-Earth to lend a hand to a fellow wizard (Gandalf) in difficulties and fighting a one-wizard battle...

As Sauron (if it is he) has no business outside Middle Earth, the simplest of [[banishing rituals]], like a bellowed "Bugger Off!", or a raised middle finger from Ridcully, should suffice to wrest control of the Omniscope back. What Sauron may think of Discworld wizards, compared to the ones he is most familiar with, is unrecorded... --[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 00:25, 28 April 2007 (CEST)

The "wizards" of Middle Earth aren't human or even mortal - they're incarnations of Mayar spirits, so Gandalf had much more in common with Sauron then with Ridcully, I'm afraid...

I feel that I must point out that Aragorn has the undoubted right to use the Palantír, because he was King, and that his statement to this effect is made to Gimli and Legolas, not Gandalf. He says, "Nay, my friends, I am the lawful master of the Stone, and I had both the right and the strength to use it, or so I judged. The right cannot be doubted. The strength was enough—barely." ''The Lord of the Rings'', Book Five, Chapter II (''The Return of the King'' page 53 in my edition).
--[[User:Edanite|Edanite]] 03:56, 26 June 2007 (CEST)

Pors Stronginthearm

2014-01-02T05:51:12Z

Confusion: Another stub

Pors Stronginthearm is one of the owners of crossbow manufacturing firm [[Burleigh & Stronginthearm]]. Considered to be the technical genius behind the weapons. He is rarely seen though he is a respected member of city dwarf community and accompanies [[Bashfull Bashfullsson]] during his visit to see [[Samuel Vimes]].

[[Stronginthearm]] is a very common [[dwarfs|dwarf]] name.
{{stub}}

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Stronginthearm, Pors]]
[[Category:Dwarf characters|Stronginthearm, Pors]]
[[de:Pors Starkimarm]]

Ligur

2014-01-02T05:49:38Z

Confusion: Stub

'''Ligur''' is a Duke of Hell and is nominally one of [[Anthony Crowley|Crowley]]'s Masters. Crowley, however, doesn't particularly want to be caught by him and his fellow-Duke, [[Hastur]], and so douses Ligur in Holy Water. This of course doesn't bode well for a demon...
{{stub}}

[[Category:Good Omens characters]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities]]

Talk:Hedge wizard

2014-01-02T05:46:18Z

Confusion: Location of description

This is the description from {{NDC}}. I thought there was another version in the canon somewhere, but I don't remember where to look for that. (And is that specifically ''pot'' plant, or just any ''potted'' plant?) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 00:50, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

Potted, I think. The description was in one of the other books, I think Equal Rites (maybe near one of the early descriptions of Simon). --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 05:46, 2 January 2014 (GMT)

Talk:Glass House

2014-01-02T05:36:46Z

Confusion: Retired?

The personification of time '''was''' a young woman, but is currently Jeremy Clockson/Lobsang Ludd. (unsigned)

I don't think it says anywhere that he lives with his parents, though. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 15:18, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Yes,but I thought that they were going to retire to somewhere like a place in the country. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 05:36, 2 January 2014 (GMT)
PS That wasn't me originally.

Wizards' Magic

2014-01-01T08:06:22Z

Confusion: Extra line

==About wizard's magic==
Wizard's magic is one way to practise magic on Discworld. It is practised scientifically and is therefore almost the opposite of [[Witches' magic]]. Wizards study magic for many years at a university (e.g. [[Unseen University]] or [[Bugarup University]]). They learn magic the hard way. Reading an uncountable number of books, passing hard tests, getting one (or several) of the many [[UU degrees|degrees]] available and practicing all day long makes a great wizard. Oh yes, and growing a beard and wearing a pointed hat also helps.

For wizards magic is science. All magic follows certain rules and if one knows the rules then one can master magic. On example is the ''conservation of energy'' (referred to as ''conservation of reality''). Simply speaking, things have to level out at the end. If something goes up, something else has to go down. An example of this was seen in ''[[Book:The Light Fantastic|The Light Fantastic]]'' where a wizard propels himself up the the [[Tower of Art]] by causing a stone to drop from the tower's roof. It is not too hard to turn a cat into a dog, because this is simply turning one existing thing into another one. But to create things out of nothing is totally different thing and almost impossible to do for a wizard. Wizards don't seem to have figured out that they could transform ''air'' into stuff yet either.

Wizards like to use instruments specially made for the purposes of practicing magic. The wizard's staff is a familiar and intuitive example; it stores magic that wizard can use all at once. For seeing the world or even all possible times and spaces of the multiverse, the wizards have used the crystal ball and have now advanced to the [[omniscope]] which is, sadly, very expensive monetarily to produce and very expensive magically to operate. The [[thaumometer]] is an instrument to measure the amount of magic in the vicinity. They also always have a stuffed alligator, the existence of which has always been a bit of a mystery, as no-one, especially the wizards themselves, know why this seemingly random piece of occult junk always turns up in a wizard's study.

The more interested wizards (usually the younger ones) try to analyse and understand magic itself. In the [[High Energy Magic Building]] at Unseen University students together with [[Ponder Stibbons]] try to split the [[Thaum]], the smallest magic particle known so far. Wizards just love to tamper with reality and to babble about different possible dimensions. One of the newer projects is the creation of [[Hex]], a magical supercomputer.

The most general form of wizard's magic is encountered in form of illusions, fireballs and occasional calling of ghastly things from the [[Dungeon Dimensions]]. Wizards can store magic in their wizard's [[staff]], which is about 6 feet long and has a knob at the end (hua, hua, hua, hmm...).

==Wizardly Interactions==
Wizards have a great disrespect for witches, because they perform magic without really knowing the science. They also think that priests and gods in general should not be taken too seriously.

In the old days wizards frequently killed each other to move up the career ladder (known in arcane circles as "Dead Man's Pointy Shoes"). At least for the wizards at [[Unseen University]] this has come to a complete stop with the new Archchancellor [[Mustrum Ridcully]], because he likes to sneak up on people while holding a crossbow and shouting "buh", and is quite frankly deemed to be unkillable by wizardly standards. Today, wizards spend their time eating great meals at least five times a day and sleeping in between (see ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'').

[[Sourcerer|Sourcerers]] are extremely powerful wizards who can create and channel magic at will. There is almost no barrier to their power.

== How to Identify a Wizard ==
Unlike the [[witches magic|witches]], wizards had never been discriminated against, only feared in the bad old days when there were no civic arrangements and wizards warred amongst themselves and killed whichever non-magical civilians who got in their way. Nowadays, wizards tell themselves not to attack civilians (because that would be an unsporting act); wizards don't use magic to fight amongst themselves, so there is no stray magic hitting innocent bystanders; and wizards in [[Ankh-Morpork]] even pay a voluntary contribution to the city, coincidentally equal in amount to the city tax. Nowadays, wizards are respected or looked at with slight suspicion and bewilderment, but not fear. The more famous faculty members of Unseen University are city dignitaries. The UU Archchancellor attends meetings with the [[Patrician]] just as the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guild leaders]] and [[Hughnon Ridcully|important priests]] do. So, wizards find it very advantageous to advertise the fact that they are wizards. Wizards like to wear pointy
hats, boots with curled points, and velvet robes with a lot of mystic sigil embroidery, sequins, and ankhstone (like rhinestone but from the [[Ankh (river)|river Ankh, which is presumably ''much'' easier to mine]]). Most wizards like huge meals and become quite round-shaped by middle-age. A beard is often expected of wizards, and the lack thereof is one of the stumbling blocks for [[Ponder Stibbons]], the youngest top faculty in [[Unseen University]].

To summarize: When you see what appears to be a small hill with velvet pointy hat and velvet robe with too many shiny bits, you are encountering a wizard.

==Orders and Levels of Wizardry==

Wizards are organized into 8 "orders", and all high-level wizards belong to one of these orders. Each order has 1 8th-level wizard (the head of the order), 8 7th-level wizards, and 64 6th-level wizards.

We do not know:

* If the geometric progression above continues below level 6 (it probably doesn't continue to level 1, since this would mean each order has 2,097,152 wizards for a total of 16,777,216 1st-level wizards, a bit high given the total population of the Disc)

* If all lower-level wizards belong to an order (for example, [[Rincewind]], a level 0 (or, arguably, level -1) wizard, does not appear to belong to an order). The parallel might be the fraternity system at American universities: not all students are frat members, and, especially in the case of the socially prestigious or desirably "cool" frats, membership is by invitation only - the onus is on the potential new member to demonstrate what they could bring to the frat. This also reflects the organisational principle of secret societies in general: you do not contact them. ''They'' will approach ''you''.

* How broadly the levels/orders system is used outside of the [[Sto Plains]]. For example, "wizards" in Klatch call themselves "enchanters", and [[Greicha the First]] the late head of [[Wyrmberg]] refers to himself as a wizard of the 15th "rank" (not level).

Orders, like their leaders and Archchancellors, rise and disappear over the years, sometimes in a natural flow, sometimes suddenly and violently. Despite their "Ancient" and "Venerable" names, most are quite recent institutions. The exception is ''Mrs. Widgery's Lodgers'', which dates from the foundation of the University when internal dormitory space was limited (these days the magic that has accumulated over the years has made the University's internal space as complicated as an Escher drawing).

The current eight orders (mostly from [[The Light Fantastic]]):



<table border>
<tr><th>Order Name</th><th>Head(s) of Order</th><th>Known Members & Comments</th></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]] a.k.a. Order of the Silver Star</td><td>[[Skrelt Changebasket]] (founder), [[Archchancellor]] [[Galder Weatherwax]], [[Ymper Trymon]], [[Archchancellor]] [[Cutangle]], [[Skarmer Billias]]</td><td> Vice Chancellor [[Treatle]] was a member during the events of {{ER}}. Cutangle is referred to as 'Archmage of the Silver Star' which could be the title for the head of this order.  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]</td><td>[[Hector Tugelbend]], [[Gravie Derment]] </td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle]] a.k.a. Illuminated Mages of the Unbroken Circle</td><td>[[Greyhald Spold]], [[Rhunlet Vard]]</td><td>the unbroken circle is apparently quite important: there are two orders named after it (either that or the members of the Unbroken Circle refer to themselves in two different ways?)</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brothers of the Order of Midnight]]</td><td>[[Lumuel Panter]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Venerable Council of Seers]]</td><td>[[Ganmack Treehallet]]</td><td> [[Spelter]] was a member of the order  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brotherhood of the Hoodwink]] a.k.a. the Hoodwinkers</td><td>[[Jiglad Wert]], [[Marmaric Carding]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Mrs Widgery's Lodgers]]</td><td>[[Ransak Boggett]] </td><td>the oldest of the current orders dating back to the founding of the university when living space was at a premium</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[The Last Order]] a.k.a. the Other Order</td><td>[[Eliaz Churn]] </td><td> </td></tr>
</table>

It could be added here that the massive magical war that took place in {{S}} seriously depleted the ranks of Wizardry and the original Eight Orders. Afterward, in the hangover that followed the passing of the [[Sourcerer]], and an awareness that it might not be wise for Wizards to shout about it too much - not to mention the accession of [[Mustrum Ridcully]] as Archchancellor - the Eight Orders seem to have declined in relative importance and influence - we hear less about the individual Orders and more about the collegiate integrity of the University as a whole. Perhaps their importance as hotbeds of plotting and mutual hatred made sense in the old, more fluid, University politics, but today, with one relatively unkillable Archchancellor, are something of an anachronism.

== Sub-wizards ==
{{ER}} tells us that people who can't make it as wizards may end up as (in descending order):

* [[Magicians]]
* [[Conjurers]]
* [[Thaumaturgists]]

There are also dismissive references to [[enchantress|enchantresses]] (witches with a nice set of legs) and [[Warlock_(profession)|warlocks]] (male witches).

==Books==
Wizards appear in various supporting or leading roles in the following books in several capacities:
:as people who try to take advantage of [[Rincewind]].
:as people who investigate anomalies in reality.
:as people who advance hypotheses about the space-time continuum.
:as tinkerers of reality.

*{{TCOM}}
*{{TLF}}
*{{ER}}
*{{S}}
*{{E}}
*{{MP}}
*{{RM}}
*{{LL}}
*{{SM}}
*{{IT}}
*{{H}}
*{{TLC}}
*{{TLH}}
*{{UA}}
*{{SOD1}}
*{{SOD2}}
*{{SOD3}}
*{{SOD4}}
*''[[Short Story:A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices|A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices]]

[[Category:Wizards]]

Talk:Archchancellor

2014-01-01T08:05:08Z

Confusion: Not just pointy shoes

==Trymon Archchanceller?==
If [[Ymper Trymon]] killed [[Galder Weatherwax]], who was Archchancellor at the time of {{TLF}}, would this have (briefly) made Trymon Archchancellor? It suggests so in Trymon's article. It's not like there was any official ceremony, but the tradition of Dead Men's Pointy Shoes could count... [[User:JaffaCakeLover|JaffaCakeLover]] 16:53, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

===Dead Man Shoes?===

If you can only be Archchancellor by dead man's shoes, wouldn't the oldest wizard (in UU, anyway) be the Archchancellor? Bit confusing here... [[User:Marmosetpower|Marmosetpower]] 09:40, 24 May 2012 (CEST)

Not '''only''' by pointy shoes, in {{S}} in mentions them being chosen every year (although this custom seems to have stopped, it now only happens when an Archchancellor dies).--[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 08:05, 1 January 2014 (GMT)

Archchancellor

2014-01-01T08:01:43Z

Confusion: /* Archchancellors from other wizarding institutions */ even more

The head of [[Unseen University|Wizarding]] [[Bugarup University|universities]], and official leader of all wizards on the Disc. Long ago, this would have meant that he has the most powerful wizard, but nowadays senior wizards tend to refrain from performing actual magic. They prefer administration and big dinners. The Archchancellors' are rather prone to death caused by upwardly mobile [[wizard's magic|wizards]], and as such, many wizards have never made it past the inaugural dinner without being stabbed, poisoned or shot. The current incumbent for the post at [[Unseen University]] is [[Mustrum Ridcully]]. Since Ridcully took up position as Archchancellor, assassination attempts have fallen, as no one is capable enough to get rid of him.

==Election of the Archchancellor==
The Archchancellor is elected on the [[Eve of Small Gods]]. (Not so much ''elected'', as the wizards have never gotten the hang of voting). It is known that Archchancellors are selected by the gods (which wizards don't believe in). The double doors to the Great Hall are locked and triple barred, and the hopeful incumbent must request entry three times before he is allowed in, thus proving that he was appointed with the consent of wizardry in general.

==The First Archchancellor==

The first Archchancellor, [[Albert|Alberto Malich]] is obviously held in high esteem. His statue in one of the hallways says "We Shall Not See His Like Again".
It seems that the University was founded (which seems to not include The Tower of Art, which was a relic from an earlier period) by the first Archchancellor during the time they had Kings (which suggests a time earlier than the last King, [[Lorenzo the Kind]]).
He briefly returned to the University in ''[[Mort]]''.

==Former Archchancellors of Unseen University==
*[[Bowell]] – noted for the interesting ceiling "[[Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance]]"
*[[Ezrolith Churn]] – Archchancellor in {{E}}
*[[Cutangle]] – Archchancellor in {{ER}}
*[[Alberto Malich]]; founder
*[[Bewdley]] - Disliked the city, as seen by his statue
*[[Sloman]] – discovered the Special Theory of Slood
*[[Virrid Wayzygoose]] – who died before his inaugural dinner, in {{S}}
*[[Galder Weatherwax]] – Archchancellor in {{TLF}}

==Archchancellors from other wizarding institutions==
*[[Bill Rincewind]] – Archchancellor of [[Bugarup University]] on [[EcksEcksEcksEcks]], seen in {{TLC}}
*[[Archchancellor Henry|Henry]] – Archchancellor of [[Brazeneck College]] in [[Pseudopolis]], as of {{UA}}

NB: Although [[Krull]] also has a magical university it is not known if the ruler is an Archchancellor or not. The same is true of various other universities or colleges mainly described in various titles and degrees.

[[Category:Wizards]]
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Erzkanzler]]

Talk:University Brown

2014-01-01T07:58:53Z

Confusion: Local teams?

"who do they race" - [[Brazeneck College]]?

Nowadays, aye, but which institution would Ridcully have raced fifty-plus years ago? --[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 15:08, 6 December 2007 (CET)

:The [[Krull]]ian wizards, perhaps? (If there was any link between a Krullian university and UU). Or maybe Unki, QIS, or Chubb, if they were around back then (as they are only mentioned as places where Bengo Macarona went). Or maybe just the other guilds or even the city... the wizards and guilds used to play football, so why not rowing as well? [[User:TC01|TC01]] 19:53, 16 December 2009 (UTC)

Yes, I think a Town and Gown race would have attracted enormous interest. --[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 20:10, 16 December 2009 (UTC)

Perhaps there were even local public teams. Again, no evidence, but there is no reason against it. Perhaps they stopped as the Ankh got more dangerous to race on (presumably it got more polluted as Ankh-Morpork grew. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:58, 1 January 2014 (GMT)

Mustrum Ridcully

2014-01-01T07:53:33Z

Confusion: Inconsistent, annotation addition

{{Character Data
|title= Mustrum Ridcully
|photo=mustrum.jpg|Mustrum Ridcully by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Mustrum Ridcully
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[Archchancellor]] of [[Unseen University]]
|appearance= Large, bearded, physically fit (for a wizard)
|residence= [[Unseen University]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Mother still alive during {{RM}}
|relatives= brother, [[Hughnon Ridcully]]; Verruca (distant cousin)
|children= none
|marital status= Never Married
|books= {{RM}}, {{LL}}, {{SM}}, {{IT}}, {{H}}, {{TLC}}, {{TLH}}
|cameos= {{MP}}, {{J}}, {{TT}}, {{MAA}}, {{NW}}, {{GP}}, {{T!}}, {{MM}} {{UA}}

}}

'''Mustrum Ridcully (the Brown)''' is the current [[Archchancellor]] of [[Unseen University]]. He holds the following UU degrees and honours: DThau, DM, BS, DMn, DG, DD, DMPhil, DMS, DCM, DW & BElL. Before becoming the Archchancellor he had been away from the University for almost 40 years living in the countryside in the [[Ramtops]]. He had relatives near [[Bad Ass]], where he was the one-time romantic interest of [[Granny Weatherwax| Esme Weatherwax]].

A [[wizard's magic|wizard]] of the 7th level by the age of 27. He rejoined the Unseen University when it was thought that he would only last for just long enough for the Wizards of the Unseen University to take a break from all the changes in Archchancellor that result from several hundred wizards all wanting the top spot at the university, and all being willing to use any means necessary to get it. The wizards thought they would be getting the sort of countryside wizard who talks to birds in soft voices, wears brown and reveres mother nature (y'know, a push over).

What they got was someone who shoots birds (and anything else), talks at a consistent shout, wears jogging suits and has about as much respect for mother nature as he does for the members of the faculty (which is not a lot). Early attempts to bump off Ridcully resulted in the ambitious Wizard being stabbed with his own knife, having his head repeatedly slammed in doors or being surreptitiously shot with a crossbow. As a result, any upwardly mobile wizards are now less upright, immobile and enjoying the huge dinners and lack of effort that comes with a stable hierarchy.

As a leader, Ridcully is completely closed off to any new ideas and refuses to listen to anyone whose problems don't take more than a minute to explain. He reasons that if someone is still trying to explain it after a few minutes, it's probably just about important enough to warrant some attention. He is simple, in that his mind is very hard to change, but he is by no means stupid, and he knows Wizardry inside out, and back to front. It's just all these new "[[Uncertainty Principle|uncertainty principles]]" and other strange ideas from the younger wizards that he can't, or refuses to, understand. In fact, that is just as well, because the younger wizards don't understand it, either; what they do is speculate very extensively.

There is a downside though. Ridcully seems to think that all everybody needs is some good exercise, to get up at the crack of dawn and a team spirit. To that end, he organises paintball matches between faculties and encourages wizards to get some exercise, such as running round the octangle a few hundred times. The wizards do not like this one bit, but they seem to be able to avoid it. The only wizard who manages to get in the way of Ridcully's high spirits is the [[Bursar]], a quiet Wizard who enjoys numbers and not much else. Ridcully seems to think that what he really needs is lightening up, and tries to do this by jumping out from behind doors and screaming at him. The Bursar's already fragile sanity has since snapped.

He has played a prominent role in preventing many of the larger disasters (usually of a trans-dimensional or magical nature) that have threatened the Disc since he became Archchancellor. Although brash and loud and seemingly unable to listen, he is nevertheless capable of extreme erudition and insight, and occasionally displays formidable magical prowess. He often sees through [[Ponder Stibbons]]' cleverness and - whilst being defiantly boneheaded about things until they are important enough for him to bother understanding - he can cut to the bone of an idea incisively and often winks at people (Ponder, [[Susan Sto-Helit|Susan]] etc) to show that he knows far more than he tells.

His [[Mustrum Ridcully's Hat|hat]] is a work of wonder, and his bed is not far off. This bed and a half is 8 posted containing a small bar, library and privy. Presumably it's a very ''hygienic'' privy, as the Archchancellor has strong feelings about hygiene. He has even a - of course pointy! - shower cap of his own design.

In his youth, Mustrum rowed for the university for 5 years and was awarded a [[University Brown]]. He was classmates with Dean Henry.

His brother [[Hughnon Ridcully]] is the high priest of [[Blind Io]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]].

Ridcully is introduced in [[Moving Pictures]] as a countrified, squirearchical wizard (read: homicidal crossbow-wielding maniac) who had spent his time managing his family's estates. In [[Unseen Academicals]], however, we learn that his father was an Ankh-Morpork butcher, and ''his'' father was a prizefighter, from which one may deduce that there is an untold story in the background, involving a high-born lady running off with a 'bit of rough' from the Big Wahoonie. Ridcully's mother, incidentally, was still alive as at the events of {{RM}}, when he was chided by his brother for not writing to her.

The Ridcully family appear to have had a long association with Ankh-Morpork: the [[Annotated Directory of Streets, Alleys, Roads Lanes and Yards of Ankh-Morpork]] and its associated street map ({{CAM}}) lists an Ephram Ridcully Street* (A6-B6) leading from Farnicle Lane*(A6) to Saddlesore Road*(B6). Farnicle Lane connects to [[Snapcase Street]] and [[Endless Street]], while Saddlesore Road leads to the [[Edgeway Road]]].

==Titles==
Mustrum Ridcully is ''D.Thau., D.M., D.S., D.Mn., D.G., D.D., D.C.L., D.M. Phil., D.M.S., D.C.M., D.W., B.El.L.'' and Archchancellor.

A short explanation on [[Unseen University|UU]] courses is available [[UU degrees|here]].

==Annotation==

Another famous 'Brown wizard' was {{wp|Radagast_the_Brown|Radagast the Brown}} from Tolkien's ''The Lord of the Rings'', who wears brown and has especially good relations to birds. Almost exactly the type of wizard Ridcully was expected to be.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Human characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Wizards|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[de:Mustrum Ridcully]]

Talk:Tower of Art

2014-01-01T07:49:38Z

Confusion: Used when?

perhaps a bit too shallow? 1.08 inches per riser on each step seems a bit too low, when you consider that in classical mediaeval buildings, each step on a spiral staircase rises by 4-6 inches. Noting the 8.00 feet of headroom between any point on the helix and its corresponding point on the next twist higher, is there anything to stop us dividing the space as

6" - step height
5'9" - average height of adult male (inc.wizard)
(up to) 1'9" (21 inches) to allow for taller Wizards and a pointy hat of up to 2" tall.

6" + 5'9" + 1'9" == 8'0".

Also, given that we know the tower was originally used as a combined Hall of Residence plus lecture rooms, office facilities, et c, it bothers me slightly that there are no windows: that the clever person making this initial calculation had the spiral staircase running around the inside of the wall, which forces the rooms/offices into the centre of the structure with no direct access to daylight. (the staircase in this analysis runs between the inner rooms and the outside wall - you effectively have an inner tower within an outer shell).

OK, you could argue that wizards might like to lock themselves away and live by candlelight and only come out at night, but surely there's a parellel here with a monastic order: to read and create ornate books and scrolls of magic, daylight is best? The monks in the scriptatoriums didn't work by candlelight, after all. I can see an arrangement like this, packed to maximum capacity with wizards, getting unbearably choky and suffocating - doesn't feel as if it would be well-ventilated enough.

A typical tower structure - I'm thinking mediaeval England and Wales here, such as the bell-tower at Norwich Cathedral or the Eagle Tower at Caernarfon Castle - might have had one, or more, discrete and separate spiral staircases within its walls.

(Gods know how this could be applied to the Tower of Art nor what the maths of a couple of smaller spirals<sup>1</sup> would look like, but it may have something in common with the
Tooth Fairy's tower, where up to four Escher-esque spirals cross and intersect each other on the inside?)

I still tip my hat to the mathematician who did this working-out, though. Do we have camels contributing to this site? This one must have collaborated with the donkey that got back down the minaret. --[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 10:06, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
:<sup>1.</sup> ''Two spirals''...a double helix, then; a giant phallic object filled with geological genetic material pointed to the sky. Was this when the gods decided it was time to beat down these Wizards? --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 22:14, 24 June 2013 (GMT)

I can't find anything wrong with the arithmetic, but the assumptions ain't necessarily so. The stairway is practically a ramp anyway; the tread depth could be anything, making the diameter larger or even smaller. Nobody builds a cylindrical tower: even if you can it doesn't look good. As for light - fire and light are Manifestation 101 at UU; easiest thing in the world. Even Nanny Ogg does a low-key version. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 01:41, 20 January 2009 (UTC)

It's also approximately the same height as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Canada_Square One Canada Square] in London's Canary Wharf, or the Woolworth Building in NY. --[[User:Megahurts|Megahurts]] 14:07, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

"it follows that each step is roughly an inch high." Unless it's taller inside than outside. ''cf ''Bugarup University, {{TLC}}. [[User:Calmeilles|Calmeilles]] ([[User talk:Calmeilles|talk]]) 17:11, 24 June 2013 (GMT)

Good math, but where does it say it was originally, or ever, used for any work? --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:49, 1 January 2014 (GMT)

Tower of Art

2014-01-01T07:46:42Z

Confusion: Changing stamp error

The oldest building in [[Ankh-Morpork]] and part of [[Unseen University]] it stands an impressive 800 feet tall. With 8,888 steps leading in a spiral up to the top, it follows that each step is roughly an inch high.

It is completely without windows and, due to several repairs over the centuries, it has a gnarled appearance, much like an ancient yew tree. Atop it sit several small turrets and crenellations and within its stones entire ecosystems have formed, including species (and no doubt phyla) unique to the Tower of Art. A lack of predators willing to climb the vast heights of the tower has meant that several species of insects, [[quoth|birds]] and small mammals have been able to evolve fairly unaffected by the outside world, except by the magical waste from UU, causing some very odd results in the evolutionary pathways of these animals that would make Darwin just simply give up.

It is now disused and most of the internal floors have crumbled away, leaving just the spiral staircase. Or at least part of it; [[Victor Tugelbend]] needed to use [[Holy Wood]] magic to create replacement stairs for ''just long enough''. Occasionally it is the scene of incredible fights between [[Dungeon Dimensions]] creatures and heroes, more unwilling ones than traditional [[Barbarian heroes]].

The Tower of Art is featured on the $AM1 [[stamps|stamp]]. Some misprints show a little man in the act of falling or preparing to fall from the tower. ({{GP}})

== Dimensions ==

Interesting to note, assuming dimensions of the steps, 1.08 inches in height, and 20 inches at their widest point, with a height of 8 feet (96 inches) between one step and the one directly above it (to allow wizard, plus at least 2 feet of pointy hat), there are 88.88 steps per loop of the spiral staircase (making for 100 loops of the spiral). Multiply that by the 20 inches of step, and we conclude that the tower has a circumference of 1,777.78 inches (148.15 feet).

Assuming the tower is a perfect cylinder, it has a diameter of 565.88 inches (47.16 feet).

This means it takes up an area of 1746.78 square feet, and has a volume of 1,397,421.63 cubic feet, so it could hold 69,634,475.5 UK pints (1,338,040,285 US ounces) of beer, which I think would keep the students happy for a while.

Then again, in the Discworld universe there are buildings that are larger on the inside than the outside so the above calculations should be taken with a grain of salt, especially as the [[Archchancellor]] has, as of {{UA}}, half a mile of good trout-fishing stream in his room.

[[Category:Locations]]
[[de:Kunstturm]]

Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance

2014-01-01T07:45:13Z

Confusion: Plumbing, stub

This is described as a small circular hall, vestibule, with an outer door with a hatch and has a raftered ceiling.

{{stub}}
[[Category:Unseen University Locations]]
[[de:Erzkanzler Gedärms Gedenken]]

Talk:Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance

2014-01-01T07:44:02Z

Confusion: Plumbing?

Where does the shower reference come from? It's the vestibule between the front doors and the Great Hall: funny place for the shower and I don't see any mention of plumbing anywhere else. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 17:02, 29 November 2013 (GMT)

The plumbing stuff is all from the bathroom in {{HF}}. It is totally different from the remembrance and will soon be removed. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:44, 1 January 2014 (GMT)

Unseen University

2014-01-01T07:41:11Z

Confusion: /* Archchancellor Preserved Bigger's Bequest, or Poore Boys Funne */ wrong number

{{Building Data
|photo=UU01.png|coat of arms|100px|
|name= Unseen University
|location= [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|owner=
|apperance=
|residents= [[Wizards]]
|use= University
|built= 1282 AM ([[1 UC]])
|founded by= [[Albert|Alberto Malich the Wise]]
|demolished=
|books= {{TCOM}}<BR>{{TLF}}<BR>{{ER}}<BR>{{M}}<BR>{{S}}<BR>{{E}}<BR>{{MP}}<BR>{{RM}}<BR>{{SM}}<BR>{{IT}}<BR>{{H}}<BR>{{TLC}}<BR>{{TT}}<BR>{{TOT}}<BR>{{GP}}<BR>{{UA}}
|notes= Motto: ''NVNC ID VIDES, NVNC NE VIDES'' (now you see it, now you don't)
}}

''"Unseen University, home of the greatest wizards on the Discworld. And one or two of the worst."''

The '''Unseen University''' (UU) is a school for [[Wizards|wizards]] located in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It was founded in the year 1282 AM ([[1 UC]]) by [[Albert|Alberto Malich the Wise]].

==The Place==
The Unseen University has gates of [[octiron]], and single-minded [[Bledlows]] to perform the Ceremony of the Keys every night. The University has an octagonal lawn, roses, other plants, and compost heaps tended by Mr. [[Modo]], the university's dwarf gardener. The buildings are of ancient stone, and contain many dark, winding corridors and small rooms, far more than the size of the grounds should allow. The unusual architecture of the building suggests that the top storeys and roof were built before the ground floors. Inside the University is the [[Great Hall]], where the Wizard's four main meals of the day are eaten. Also noteworthy are the hundreds of paintings and busts of former [[Archchancellor|Archchancellors]] that line the vestibule just outside the Great Hall. Other notable features are the [[Uncommon Room]], the staffroom of the Faculty (see below); the gymnasium (which is for students to practise spells, not exercise, and - as such - is lined and protected ''very'' powerfully); the [[Emperor]] candle and the [[Tesseractical Floor|Tesseractical floor]].

The grounds are enclosed in brick walls, but there are some places where bricks can be removed to offer convenient footholds for young and reasonably athletic students to climb over. The more famous buildings are: The [[Tower of Art]], the [[Library]], and the [[High Energy Magic Building]].

[[Old Tom]] is the University's bell and it is made of octiron. Every hour this bell chimes heavy silences which render all sounds inaudible. Sometimes Old Tom also rings during incidents involving a massive amount of magic, making verbal communication very difficult during the emergency.

The [[Unreal Estate]] is an area outside of the University walls. The area used to be the University's dumpster, and the magic contamination has until recently made the ground unusable for any housing or farming. However, part of this area has since been developed into the [[Thaumatological Park]]. This serves two purposes: it earns money for the University by selling commercially useful by-products of research magic such as the [[Dis-organiser]], and it keeps young wizards trained by [[Ponder Stibbons]] usefully occupied after graduation, otherwise there's no telling what minds like those would find to do. As the area is still inherently dangerous, a ''really'' cynical senior wizard might reflect that it could even thin their numbers out a bit, which is no bad thing...

The University is unbelievably rich. This comes from the rents of [[Sator Square]], the [[Plaza of Broken Moons]], magical services throughout the city and the classrooms that are rented out for various uses. Much more recently there has been the money made from the Thaumatological Park. Additionally, the University doesn't spend much, on food especially. People donate food regularly to the place, on the basis that if there were a lot of daft old men living on enough magic to rip a hole in two realities near ''you'', you'd want them to be too full to move as well.

==The People==
For many centuries, the wizards in Unseen University vied for the top position, the Archchancellor. The wizards were also in eight orders, each wizard fighting for the higher positions in the order, and fighting off other orders. (For more on in-fighting of wizards, see also the article [[Wizard's magic]].) After the coming of Archchancellor Ridcully, the power structure stabilized because nobody is able to murder Ridcully. The fighting changed from magical and murderous to quarrels and minor insults between faculty members. Everybody is able to come down alive and have a big dinner in relative calm, (unless the Bursar is insane for the moment or there is major magical disturbance in the vicinity.) There are many, many faculty members who are wizards who specialize in particular studies, drawing no salary, living at the ends of obscure corridors, unknown and unseen by others except at meals or when the more important wizards require the specialized wizards for some reason. Few faculty members like to teach. They have virtual lectures in a classroom, ([[Room 3b]]) that does not exist, a happy arrangement mutually understood and respected by [[Faculty]] and [[students]] alike. The other lecture theatre specifically mentioned in the chronicles is [[Room 5b]], which has its own woes in that Space and Time have come adrift from each other, and a lecturer walking in might discover he's already there and has started taking a class twenty minutes previously. Genuine lectures do happen at the University and are generally well-attended: refer to {{ER}}, where [[Eskarina Smith]] clandestinely attends the lectures by hiding underneath the tiered benches, and watching from behind a line of pointy boots. Student wizards do have to pass an exam, with an 88% pass mark, to obtain a Bachelor's degree. After that, a wizard may leave and find work, or stay and do more researches for advanced degrees.

All alumni of the UU have the right to wear a bronze octogram which symbolises their attendance at the school.

The faculty members listed below are well-known simply because they appear more often to the public and are there when the Archchancellor calls for meetings. These faculty members are not known for their lectures or the importance of their subjects. A hot subject, if such it may be called, is any technomancy under Ponder Stibbons's supervision, but in fact, his students are not more single-minded than other research students, and his department does not draw particularly many more students than other departments. Still, Mr. Stibbons's labs in the High Energy Building are often helpful to the Archchancellor in these modern times.

===The Top Faculty===
[[image:UUFaculty.jpg|350px|thumb|Left to right: The Chair, The Dean, The Librarian, The Archchancellor, Runes, The Bursar, Ponder Stibbons, The Senior Wrangler and Rincew.... oh he's, er, gone.]]
*The [[Archchancellor]] ([[Mustrum Ridcully]]),
*The [[Bursar]] (A. A. Dinwiddie)
*The [[Dean]] (Henry Porter)
Note:As of ''Unseen Academicals'' "The Dean" is now Archchancellor of [[Brazeneck College]]
*The [[Senior Wrangler]] (Horace)
*The [[Chair of Indefinite Studies]]
*The [[Lecturer in Recent Runes]]
*The [[Librarian]], (an orangutan, previously Human Horace Worblehat)
*The Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic ([[Ponder Stibbons]])
*The [[Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]] ([[Rincewind]])
*The [[Department of Post-Mortem Communications|Head of the Department of Post-Mortem Communications]] (Dr [[John Hicks]])

*[[Hex]], the University's thinking-engine, although nominally a campus resource, functions as a ''de facto'' member of the top faculty

===Other Members of the Teaching Staff (in alphabetical order)===
*The [[Chair for the Public Misunderstanding of Magic]]
*The [[Dean of Liberal Studies]]
*The [[Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage]]
*The [[Lecturer in Applied Astrology]]
*The [[The Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy|Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy]]
*The [[Lecturer in Creative Uncertainty]]
*The [[Professor of Applied Anthropics]]
*The [[Professor of Astrology]]
*The Professor of Dust, Miscellaneous Particles and Filaments
*The [[Professor of Extreme Horticulture]]
*The [[Professor of Illiberal Studies]]
*The [[Professor of Logic]]
*The [[Posthumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy|''Posthumous'' Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy]]
*The [[Prehumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy|''Prehumous'' Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy]]
*The [[Professor of Natural Studies]]
*The Professor of Ornithology
*The [[Professor of Recondite Architecture and Origami Map Folding‎]]
*The [[Professor of Recondite Phenomena]]
*The [[Professor of Slood Dynamics]]
*The [[The Professor of Virtual Anthropology|Professor of Virtual Anthropology]]
*The [[Reader in Esoteric Studies]]
*The [[Reader in Woolly Thinking]]

===The Staff===
*[[Modo]], Gardener
*Mrs. [[Whitlow]], head of housekeeping
*The [[Bledlows]], the UU's policemen, nowadays basically the porters
**[[McAbre]], Head Bledlow
**[[Gelid]], Bledlow
**[[Alphonse Nobbs]] (no relation), Bledlow
**[[Frankly Ottomy]], Bledlow
*[[Glenda Sugarbean]], head of the [[Night Kitchen]]
**[[Juliet Stollop]], one of Ms Sugarbean's workers
**Mrs. Hedges, Night Kitchen cheeseboards
**Mildred & Rachel, Night Kitchen vegetable women
* [[Ksandra]], hapless undermaid
*The [[Candle Knave]], Mr [[Natchbull Smeems|Smeems]]
*The [[Candle Dribbler|Candle Dribblers]] of [[The Vats|the Vats]]
*Mr. [[Downbody]], one of the servants in the [[Uncommon Room]]
*Mr [[Blunk]], the coal porter

===Former Faculty & Staff===
* [[Windle Poons]], wizard (deceased).
* [[Evans the Striped]], sports master (deceased).
*[[Brother Fingers]] once worked as an odd-job man at UU.
*[[Inspector Lewton]] briefly hired on as a dormitory bedmaker in [[Discworld Noir]], but only as a ruse to snoop around the campus.
* Dr. [[Fettle Dodgast]], age 132 when interviewed in {{TT}}, most likely belongs among the ''former'', not current, faculty by now.
* Dr [[Sensibility Bustle]], DM, Phil, B.EI L, Patricius Professor of Magic, linguistics expert and hiver researcher (deceased).
* Professor H.F. Pullunder (Doctor Erratamus) is mentioned by Ponder while reading the Book of Traditions. No one recognizes the name.
* Dr. Earwig retired to get married to a witch, now Mrs. [[Letice Earwig]].
* Dr. Housemartin left UU for medical reasons (a bad case of work-related frogs).

===Former Archchancellors===
*[[Albert|Alberto Malich]] – founder
*Archchancellor [[Bewdley]] – according to his commemorative statue, disliked Ankh-Morpork intensely. According to {{TLC}}, a magical hole opened in his left boot.
*Archchancellor "Trouter" Hopkins – his actual preserved body is in the great hall, having put in his will that he wanted his body to be pickled in alcohol posthumously.
*Archchancellor William Badger – a very unpopular man, whose likeness is on the University's drain covers.
*Archchancellor [[Galder Weatherwax]] – Archchancellor in {{TLF}}
*Archchancellor [[Cutangle]] – Archchancellor in {{ER}}
*Archchancellor-Elect [[Virrid Wayzygoose]] – an ''almost''-Archchancellor who died before his own inaugural dinner in {{S}}
*Archchancellor [[Ezrolith Churn]] – Archchancellor in {{E}}
*Archchancellor [[Buckleby]] – Apparently locked himself in his own wardrobe. Mentioned in {{H}}
*Archchancellor [[Spode]] – mentioned in {{H}} and instituted a rule about locking doors
*Archchancellor [[Sloman]] – mentioned in "A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices"; discovered the Special Theory of Slood
*Archchancellor [[Bowell]] – left an unusual bequest and has a vestibule named after him (see below)
*Archchancellor Preserved Bigger – left a substantial bequest with the requirement that UU play football at least once every 20 years.

==The Orders of Wizardry==
*[[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]]
*[[Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle]]
*[[Brotherhood of the Hoodwink]]
*[[Brothers of the Order of Midnight]]
*[[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]
*[[Venerable Council of Seers]]
*[[Mrs Widgery's Lodgers]]
*[[The Last Order]]

==Terms==
There are eight terms, each one is roughly one week long, to minimise the time that the professers must spend teaching. However, the students continue to live and study on their own for the remainder of the year. The terms are called:
*Octinity
*Rotation
*Backspindle
*Hogswatch
*Evelyn
*Micklemote
*Candlerent
*Soul Cakes

==Unseen University Degrees==
These are the UU courses in magic and related topics. UU also offers lesser degrees in medicine, law, geology and so on, but lecturers are required to have at least one magical degree from UU before they are allowed to teach.

The full list can be [[UU degrees|found here]].

==Customs and traditions==
===Beating the Bounds===
Also known as "plunkers", this ceremony takes place each year at dawn on the 22nd of Grune. The entire faculty walks along the original boundaries of the University, walking through or if necessary over any buildings in the way of the original march route. Any nearby citizens are hit with live ferrets, and any red-headed men (except for one [[Carrot|Captain Ironfoundersson]]) are given a "plunking". Upon return to the University, breakfast is served, in which duck must be present.

In our world the beating of the bounds of Oxford takes place every Ascension day (changes every year but it is either May or June).

===Boy Archchancellor===
Occurring at around [[Hogswatch]], a first year student is selected to be the Archchancellor for the day. He has the full powers of Archchancellorship, and there is many a tale of him performing all manner of jokes and pranks on the most senior wizards. Because his life expectancy following this will almost certainly be brief, the boy chosen is normally the University's most unpopular student.

This is similar to the idea of a boy bishop, which is present in our world.

===The Convivium===
The Degrees ceremony, in which the [[Archchancellor]], University Council, eighth level wizards, masters and doctors proceed from the University to the [[Opera House]]. They are led by the Commander of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], or if there isn't one, then by a man carrying a pot of mustard and a quill. Foreign dignitaries, city officials and nobles are also invited to this ceremony, and upon arrival at the Opera House, the [[Patrician]] will present the graduates with their degrees.

===Gaudy Night===
This appears to be a follow up of the Convivium, and the new graduates attend a feast in the Great Hall of the University, making an even greater effort than usual to be the best dressed. The winner is thrown into the river by the losers.

This is an celebration dinner at Oxford University, around which the novel ''Gaudy Night'' by Dorothy L. Sayers is based.

===Head of the River===
Because of the difficulty of rowing on the river, teams of eight wizards will carry the racing skiffs and run from the University boathouse to the Brass Bridge. The course is known as the "Bumps", and the winning team is awarded a "Brown" (a new pair of brown boots to replace the ones that will by now have been effectively disintegrated). They are now referred to as "Head of the River". One past winner of this race is the current Archchancellor, [[Mustrum Ridcully|Mustrum Ridcully the Brown]].

===May Morning===
Every May Day Dawn, the University choir sing from the top of the [[Tower of Art]] to the rest of the faculty, assembled below. Although the anthem cannot be heard, the Tower of Art being 800 feet high, the listeners still clap after five minutes, the length of time taken to sing the anthem.

===The Poor Scholars===
This harks back to the founding days of the University, when young, but poor men with magical talent were accepted into the universities. However, there was no accommodation space for them, so they lived in lean-tos against the walls of the [[Tower of Art]]. As a recognition of their determination, the faculty would throw food down to (or at) the poor scholars. Now, this ceremony takes place once a year, and the students gather in [[Sator Square]], where the faculty throw stale bread rolls at them as hard as they can.

===Rag week===
This is the entire backspindle term. On this week, the wizards are let loose on Ankh-Morpork. Activities include the Short Street Climb, in which the wizards climb sideways across the streets. Some fail to reach the end, and fall into the [[the Mended Drum]]. Another custom is tobogganing, in which the wizards go up to the Tower of Art on teatrays, and then toboggan back down. It must be noted that for this to happen, the involved students must have consumed a large amount of alcohol.

===Scrawn Money===
Also known as "Archchancellor Scrawn's bequest", this rather dated ceremony requires all those who live on University property to assemble in Sator Square, where they are given two pennies, a pair of socks, and a loaf of day-old bread each. They are then allowed to watch the wizards eat lunch.

==='Sity and Guilds===
Due to the rivalry induced violence between students of the various [[guilds]] and the university, it was decided to channel the rivalries into an annual sporting match, similar to football or rugby. The "playing field" was from [[The Shades]] to the Tower of Art. Goals are scored by kicking the ball through the door or window of a pub, and the scoring team had to get drinks bought by the other teams. Only one goal per pub was allowed due to the length of some games that had not benefited from this rule. It appears that the Unseen University has not participated in this for some time now.

===The Wizards' Excuse Me===
A large dance at the end of the Backspindle term, to which the city nobles are also invited. There are two bands and a giant buffet with three dozen kinds of meat.

=== Archchancellor [[Bowell]]'s Remembrance's bun and penny ===
An extant bequest pays for one small currant bun and one copper penny to be placed on a high stone shelf on one wall of this vestibule (circular hall) every second Wednesday. No one knows why this is done, or even why the vestibule is named [[Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance]] ({{H}})

===The Hunting of the Megapode===
A veritable heyhoe-rumbledown as all fellows pursue the [[Megapode]] through the college buildings with much mirth and good spirits.

===Archchancellor Preserved Bigger's Bequest, or Poore Boys Funne===

The Bigger's Bequest is a very large fund. Monies from the interest on the fund cover approximately 87.4% of the college food bill. It does however carry conditions, in order for the UU to have access to these funds they must play [[Football]] at least once every twenty years.
Food is ''important'' to the modern wizard: the University appears to be regualted as tightly as any ship at sea by its [[Unseen University Mealtimes|mealtimes]], which happen at approximately two-hour intervals throughout the day and night, like the ship's bells that tell sailors what watch they're on. Therefore while there is much grumbling and reluctance, the vital necessity to play football is acknowledged in {{UA}}.

==Flora and Fauna==
The grounds are closed and heavily contaminated with magic, so a special ecosystem has evolved within Unseen University, with many wondrous creatures not found elsewhere, and many highly intelligent and civilized varieties of common house pests. These include:
*[[.303 Bookworm]] in the Library.
*Ants; some pull carts, some ride on beetles. One time, a clan of ants built a sugar pyramid for the mummy of a deceased queen (on the walls the true secret of longevity was inscribed, but it was lost when it was washed out).
*Bedbugs in Rincewind's mattress, smart enough to take the mattress with them when they feel they need to flee the University.
*Cockroaches; billions of them can march with their steps perfectly in time.
*[[Critters]] in the Library.
* Escaped demons in the cellar.
*Flying insects (including bees) who are not only capable of leaving a room by the window through which they entered, they can unerringly pick out a tiny hole in the glass no larger than a small coin, and enter and leave via this aperture.
*{{wp|Marmosets|Marmosets}} were planned to be used by a previous Archchancellor in order to communicate throughout the university (a piped system).
*[[Rats]] who seem to understand human speech. Some have moved to under the [[Patrician's Palace]] and sometimes serve the Patrician, Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]].
*Owls - [[Book:The Ankh-Morpork Post Office Handbook & Diary 2007|The Ankh-Morpork Post Office Handbook & Diary]] notes that there are a large population of owls living in the upper attics of UU. The wizards did once try and use the owls are an internal postal-service to deliver the letters and memos. However these were very intelligent birds, and saw the letters an an easily obtainable source of nesting material. The letters had to be retrieved from owls and stamped 'defected on by owls' (although most people can see this when they get it).
*[[Quoth|Ravens]] talk and are very inquisitive, but not very bright.
*[[Swear-Words]], cussed into being by Ridcully during a time of great magical potential.

:These creatures can be found in: {{ER}}, {{S}}, {{G!G!}}, {{RM}} and {{NW}}.

[[Gargoyles]] - There are a large colony of gargoyles covering much of the ancient buildings of the Unseen University. The first appear in {{ER}}. In wet weather they delight in spitting the water over passing students. In the event of a serious storm however, they have been known to leave the walls and hide under the attics, holding 'that just because your are ugly, doesn't mean you have to be stupid'. In {{S}} the entire gargoyle population abandoned UU, descending to ground level and fleeing across the immaculate grass lawns, sensing the approach of the [[Coin|Sourcerer]].

The University still dumps magical rubbish carelessly in the back alleys of [[Ankh-Morpork]]. The eating of magical rubbish led to the rise of the [[Rats|rat]] Clan, composed of rats not only intelligent but also fluent in human speech. These rats are important characters in ''[[Book:The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents|The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents]]''.

[[Gaspode]], the thinking-brain dog for the [[Canting Crew]], may also have got his thinking abilities and human speech from eating Unseen's rubbish (or, as he says in {{MAA}}, by sleeping next to the High Energy Magic Building), dumped by time-honoured custom in the [[Unreal Estate]]. (Details in {{MP}} and {{MAA}}). This was certainly the case for [[The Amazing Maurice]], an otherwise bright feral tomcat who, before eating Unseen's rubbish at one step removed, was scratching a bare living on the margins, but then got a Big Idea.

[[Schleppel]], a boogeyman, was invited to move into the University's cellars after the events of {{RM}}, and happily looked forward to preying on its various wildlife. It is uncertain how he may have fitted into its curious ecology.

==Annotation==
The name of the Unseen University probably comes from the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_College Invisible College]

[[de:Unsichtbare Universität]]
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses]]

Wizards' Magic

2014-01-01T07:36:44Z

Confusion: Useless self link

==About wizard's magic==
Wizard's magic is one way to practise magic on Discworld. It is practised scientifically and is therefore almost the opposite of [[Witches' magic]]. Wizards study magic for many years at a university (e.g. [[Unseen University]] or [[Bugarup University]]). They learn magic the hard way. Reading an uncountable number of books, passing hard tests, getting one (or several) of the many [[UU degrees|degrees]] available and practicing all day long makes a great wizard. Oh yes, and growing a beard and wearing a pointed hat also helps.

For wizards magic is science. All magic follows certain rules and if one knows the rules then one can master magic. On example is the ''conservation of energy'' (referred to as ''conservation of reality''). Simply speaking, things have to level out at the end. If something goes up, something else has to go down. An example of this was seen in ''[[Book:The Light Fantastic|The Light Fantastic]]'' where a wizard propels himself up the the [[Tower of Art]] by causing a stone to drop from the tower's roof. It is not too hard to turn a cat into a dog, because this is simply turning one existing thing into another one. But to create things out of nothing is totally different thing and almost impossible to do for a wizard. Wizards don't seem to have figured out that they could transform ''air'' into stuff yet either.

Wizards like to use instruments specially made for the purposes of practicing magic. The wizard's staff is a familiar and intuitive example; it stores magic that wizard can use all at once. For seeing the world or even all possible times and spaces of the multiverse, the wizards have used the crystal ball and have now advanced to the [[omniscope]] which is, sadly, very expensive monetarily to produce and very expensive magically to operate. The [[thaumometer]] is an instrument to measure the amount of magic in the vicinity. They also always have a stuffed alligator, the existence of which has always been a bit of a mystery, as no-one, especially the wizards themselves, know why this seemingly random piece of occult junk always turns up in a wizard's study.

The more interested wizards (usually the younger ones) try to analyse and understand magic itself. In the [[High Energy Magic Building]] at Unseen University students together with [[Ponder Stibbons]] try to split the [[Thaum]], the smallest magic particle known so far. Wizards just love to tamper with reality and to babble about different possible dimensions. One of the newer projects is the creation of [[Hex]], a magical supercomputer.

The most general form of wizard's magic is encountered in form of illusions, fireballs and occasional calling of ghastly things from the [[Dungeon Dimensions]]. Wizards can store magic in their wizard's [[staff]], which is about 6 feet long and has a knob at the end (hua, hua, hua, hmm...).

----

==Wizardly Interactions==
Wizards have a great disrespect for witches, because they perform magic without really knowing the science. They also think that priests and gods in general should not be taken too seriously.

In the old days wizards frequently killed each other to move up the career ladder (known in arcane circles as "Dead Man's Pointy Shoes"). At least for the wizards at [[Unseen University]] this has come to a complete stop with the new Archchancellor [[Mustrum Ridcully]], because he likes to sneak up on people while holding a crossbow and shouting "buh", and is quite frankly deemed to be unkillable by wizardly standards. Today, wizards spend their time eating great meals at least five times a day and sleeping in between (see ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'').

[[Sourcerer|Sourcerers]] are extremely powerful wizards who can create and channel magic at will. There is almost no barrier to their power.

== How to Identify a Wizard ==
Unlike the [[witches magic|witches]], wizards had never been discriminated against, only feared in the bad old days when there were no civic arrangements and wizards warred amongst themselves and killed whichever non-magical civilians who got in their way. Nowadays, wizards tell themselves not to attack civilians (because that would be an unsporting act); wizards don't use magic to fight amongst themselves, so there is no stray magic hitting innocent bystanders; and wizards in [[Ankh-Morpork]] even pay a voluntary contribution to the city, coincidentally equal in amount to the city tax. Nowadays, wizards are respected or looked at with slight suspicion and bewilderment, but not fear. The more famous faculty members of Unseen University are city dignitaries. The UU Archchancellor attends meetings with the [[Patrician]] just as the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guild leaders]] and [[Hughnon Ridcully|important priests]] do. So, wizards find it very advantageous to advertise the fact that they are wizards. Wizards like to wear pointy
hats, boots with curled points, and velvet robes with a lot of mystic sigil embroidery, sequins, and ankhstone (like rhinestone but from the [[Ankh (river)|river Ankh, which is presumably ''much'' easier to mine]]). Most wizards like huge meals and become quite round-shaped by middle-age. A beard is often expected of wizards, and the lack thereof is one of the stumbling blocks for [[Ponder Stibbons]], the youngest top faculty in [[Unseen University]].

To summarize: When you see what appears to be a small hill with velvet pointy hat and velvet robe with too many shiny bits, you are encountering a wizard.

==Orders and Levels of Wizardry==

Wizards are organized into 8 "orders", and all high-level wizards belong to one of these orders. Each order has 1 8th-level wizard (the head of the order), 8 7th-level wizards, and 64 6th-level wizards.

We do not know:

* If the geometric progression above continues below level 6 (it probably doesn't continue to level 1, since this would mean each order has 2,097,152 wizards for a total of 16,777,216 1st-level wizards, a bit high given the total population of the Disc)

* If all lower-level wizards belong to an order (for example, [[Rincewind]], a level 0 (or, arguably, level -1) wizard, does not appear to belong to an order). The parallel might be the fraternity system at American universities: not all students are frat members, and, especially in the case of the socially prestigious or desirably "cool" frats, membership is by invitation only - the onus is on the potential new member to demonstrate what they could bring to the frat. This also reflects the organisational principle of secret societies in general: you do not contact them. ''They'' will approach ''you''.

* How broadly the levels/orders system is used outside of the [[Sto Plains]]. For example, "wizards" in Klatch call themselves "enchanters", and [[Greicha the First]] the late head of [[Wyrmberg]] refers to himself as a wizard of the 15th "rank" (not level).

Orders, like their leaders and Archchancellors, rise and disappear over the years, sometimes in a natural flow, sometimes suddenly and violently. Despite their "Ancient" and "Venerable" names, most are quite recent institutions. The exception is ''Mrs. Widgery's Lodgers'', which dates from the foundation of the University when internal dormitory space was limited (these days the magic that has accumulated over the years has made the University's internal space as complicated as an Escher drawing).

The current eight orders (mostly from [[The Light Fantastic]]):



<table border>
<tr><th>Order Name</th><th>Head(s) of Order</th><th>Known Members & Comments</th></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]] a.k.a. Order of the Silver Star</td><td>[[Skrelt Changebasket]] (founder), [[Archchancellor]] [[Galder Weatherwax]], [[Ymper Trymon]], [[Archchancellor]] [[Cutangle]], [[Skarmer Billias]]</td><td> Vice Chancellor [[Treatle]] was a member during the events of {{ER}}. Cutangle is referred to as 'Archmage of the Silver Star' which could be the title for the head of this order.  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]</td><td>[[Hector Tugelbend]], [[Gravie Derment]] </td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle]] a.k.a. Illuminated Mages of the Unbroken Circle</td><td>[[Greyhald Spold]], [[Rhunlet Vard]]</td><td>the unbroken circle is apparently quite important: there are two orders named after it (either that or the members of the Unbroken Circle refer to themselves in two different ways?)</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brothers of the Order of Midnight]]</td><td>[[Lumuel Panter]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Venerable Council of Seers]]</td><td>[[Ganmack Treehallet]]</td><td> [[Spelter]] was a member of the order  </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Brotherhood of the Hoodwink]] a.k.a. the Hoodwinkers</td><td>[[Jiglad Wert]], [[Marmaric Carding]]</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Mrs Widgery's Lodgers]]</td><td>[[Ransak Boggett]] </td><td>the oldest of the current orders dating back to the founding of the university when living space was at a premium</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[The Last Order]] a.k.a. the Other Order</td><td>[[Eliaz Churn]] </td><td> </td></tr>
</table>

It could be added here that the massive magical war that took place in {{S}} seriously depleted the ranks of Wizardry and the original Eight Orders. Afterward, in the hangover that followed the passing of the [[Sourcerer]], and an awareness that it might not be wise for Wizards to shout about it too much - not to mention the accession of [[Mustrum Ridcully]] as Archchancellor - the Eight Orders seem to have declined in relative importance and influence - we hear less about the individual Orders and more about the collegiate integrity of the University as a whole. Perhaps their importance as hotbeds of plotting and mutual hatred made sense in the old, more fluid, University politics, but today, with one relatively unkillable Archchancellor, are something of an anachronism.

== Sub-wizards ==
{{ER}} tells us that people who can't make it as wizards may end up as (in descending order):

* [[Magicians]]
* [[Conjurers]]
* [[Thaumaturgists]]

There are also dismissive references to [[enchantress|enchantresses]] (witches with a nice set of legs) and [[Warlock_(profession)|warlocks]] (male witches).

==Books==
Wizards appear in various supporting or leading roles in the following books in several capacities:
:as people who try to take advantage of [[Rincewind]].
:as people who investigate anomalies in reality.
:as people who advance hypotheses about the space-time continuum.
:as tinkerers of reality.

*{{TCOM}}
*{{TLF}}
*{{ER}}
*{{S}}
*{{E}}
*{{MP}}
*{{RM}}
*{{LL}}
*{{SM}}
*{{IT}}
*{{H}}
*{{TLC}}
*{{TLH}}
*{{UA}}
*{{SOD1}}
*{{SOD2}}
*{{SOD3}}
*{{SOD4}}
*''[[Short Story:A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices|A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices]]

[[Category:Wizards]]

Unseen University

2014-01-01T07:32:02Z

Confusion: /* The Place */ confusing wording

{{Building Data
|photo=UU01.png|coat of arms|100px|
|name= Unseen University
|location= [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|owner=
|apperance=
|residents= [[Wizards]]
|use= University
|built= 1282 AM ([[1 UC]])
|founded by= [[Albert|Alberto Malich the Wise]]
|demolished=
|books= {{TCOM}}<BR>{{TLF}}<BR>{{ER}}<BR>{{M}}<BR>{{S}}<BR>{{E}}<BR>{{MP}}<BR>{{RM}}<BR>{{SM}}<BR>{{IT}}<BR>{{H}}<BR>{{TLC}}<BR>{{TT}}<BR>{{TOT}}<BR>{{GP}}<BR>{{UA}}
|notes= Motto: ''NVNC ID VIDES, NVNC NE VIDES'' (now you see it, now you don't)
}}

''"Unseen University, home of the greatest wizards on the Discworld. And one or two of the worst."''

The '''Unseen University''' (UU) is a school for [[Wizards|wizards]] located in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It was founded in the year 1282 AM ([[1 UC]]) by [[Albert|Alberto Malich the Wise]].

==The Place==
The Unseen University has gates of [[octiron]], and single-minded [[Bledlows]] to perform the Ceremony of the Keys every night. The University has an octagonal lawn, roses, other plants, and compost heaps tended by Mr. [[Modo]], the university's dwarf gardener. The buildings are of ancient stone, and contain many dark, winding corridors and small rooms, far more than the size of the grounds should allow. The unusual architecture of the building suggests that the top storeys and roof were built before the ground floors. Inside the University is the [[Great Hall]], where the Wizard's four main meals of the day are eaten. Also noteworthy are the hundreds of paintings and busts of former [[Archchancellor|Archchancellors]] that line the vestibule just outside the Great Hall. Other notable features are the [[Uncommon Room]], the staffroom of the Faculty (see below); the gymnasium (which is for students to practise spells, not exercise, and - as such - is lined and protected ''very'' powerfully); the [[Emperor]] candle and the [[Tesseractical Floor|Tesseractical floor]].

The grounds are enclosed in brick walls, but there are some places where bricks can be removed to offer convenient footholds for young and reasonably athletic students to climb over. The more famous buildings are: The [[Tower of Art]], the [[Library]], and the [[High Energy Magic Building]].

[[Old Tom]] is the University's bell and it is made of octiron. Every hour this bell chimes heavy silences which render all sounds inaudible. Sometimes Old Tom also rings during incidents involving a massive amount of magic, making verbal communication very difficult during the emergency.

The [[Unreal Estate]] is an area outside of the University walls. The area used to be the University's dumpster, and the magic contamination has until recently made the ground unusable for any housing or farming. However, part of this area has since been developed into the [[Thaumatological Park]]. This serves two purposes: it earns money for the University by selling commercially useful by-products of research magic such as the [[Dis-organiser]], and it keeps young wizards trained by [[Ponder Stibbons]] usefully occupied after graduation, otherwise there's no telling what minds like those would find to do. As the area is still inherently dangerous, a ''really'' cynical senior wizard might reflect that it could even thin their numbers out a bit, which is no bad thing...

The University is unbelievably rich. This comes from the rents of [[Sator Square]], the [[Plaza of Broken Moons]], magical services throughout the city and the classrooms that are rented out for various uses. Much more recently there has been the money made from the Thaumatological Park. Additionally, the University doesn't spend much, on food especially. People donate food regularly to the place, on the basis that if there were a lot of daft old men living on enough magic to rip a hole in two realities near ''you'', you'd want them to be too full to move as well.

==The People==
For many centuries, the wizards in Unseen University vied for the top position, the Archchancellor. The wizards were also in eight orders, each wizard fighting for the higher positions in the order, and fighting off other orders. (For more on in-fighting of wizards, see also the article [[Wizard's magic]].) After the coming of Archchancellor Ridcully, the power structure stabilized because nobody is able to murder Ridcully. The fighting changed from magical and murderous to quarrels and minor insults between faculty members. Everybody is able to come down alive and have a big dinner in relative calm, (unless the Bursar is insane for the moment or there is major magical disturbance in the vicinity.) There are many, many faculty members who are wizards who specialize in particular studies, drawing no salary, living at the ends of obscure corridors, unknown and unseen by others except at meals or when the more important wizards require the specialized wizards for some reason. Few faculty members like to teach. They have virtual lectures in a classroom, ([[Room 3b]]) that does not exist, a happy arrangement mutually understood and respected by [[Faculty]] and [[students]] alike. The other lecture theatre specifically mentioned in the chronicles is [[Room 5b]], which has its own woes in that Space and Time have come adrift from each other, and a lecturer walking in might discover he's already there and has started taking a class twenty minutes previously. Genuine lectures do happen at the University and are generally well-attended: refer to {{ER}}, where [[Eskarina Smith]] clandestinely attends the lectures by hiding underneath the tiered benches, and watching from behind a line of pointy boots. Student wizards do have to pass an exam, with an 88% pass mark, to obtain a Bachelor's degree. After that, a wizard may leave and find work, or stay and do more researches for advanced degrees.

All alumni of the UU have the right to wear a bronze octogram which symbolises their attendance at the school.

The faculty members listed below are well-known simply because they appear more often to the public and are there when the Archchancellor calls for meetings. These faculty members are not known for their lectures or the importance of their subjects. A hot subject, if such it may be called, is any technomancy under Ponder Stibbons's supervision, but in fact, his students are not more single-minded than other research students, and his department does not draw particularly many more students than other departments. Still, Mr. Stibbons's labs in the High Energy Building are often helpful to the Archchancellor in these modern times.

===The Top Faculty===
[[image:UUFaculty.jpg|350px|thumb|Left to right: The Chair, The Dean, The Librarian, The Archchancellor, Runes, The Bursar, Ponder Stibbons, The Senior Wrangler and Rincew.... oh he's, er, gone.]]
*The [[Archchancellor]] ([[Mustrum Ridcully]]),
*The [[Bursar]] (A. A. Dinwiddie)
*The [[Dean]] (Henry Porter)
Note:As of ''Unseen Academicals'' "The Dean" is now Archchancellor of [[Brazeneck College]]
*The [[Senior Wrangler]] (Horace)
*The [[Chair of Indefinite Studies]]
*The [[Lecturer in Recent Runes]]
*The [[Librarian]], (an orangutan, previously Human Horace Worblehat)
*The Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic ([[Ponder Stibbons]])
*The [[Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]] ([[Rincewind]])
*The [[Department of Post-Mortem Communications|Head of the Department of Post-Mortem Communications]] (Dr [[John Hicks]])

*[[Hex]], the University's thinking-engine, although nominally a campus resource, functions as a ''de facto'' member of the top faculty

===Other Members of the Teaching Staff (in alphabetical order)===
*The [[Chair for the Public Misunderstanding of Magic]]
*The [[Dean of Liberal Studies]]
*The [[Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage]]
*The [[Lecturer in Applied Astrology]]
*The [[The Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy|Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy]]
*The [[Lecturer in Creative Uncertainty]]
*The [[Professor of Applied Anthropics]]
*The [[Professor of Astrology]]
*The Professor of Dust, Miscellaneous Particles and Filaments
*The [[Professor of Extreme Horticulture]]
*The [[Professor of Illiberal Studies]]
*The [[Professor of Logic]]
*The [[Posthumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy|''Posthumous'' Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy]]
*The [[Prehumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy|''Prehumous'' Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy]]
*The [[Professor of Natural Studies]]
*The Professor of Ornithology
*The [[Professor of Recondite Architecture and Origami Map Folding‎]]
*The [[Professor of Recondite Phenomena]]
*The [[Professor of Slood Dynamics]]
*The [[The Professor of Virtual Anthropology|Professor of Virtual Anthropology]]
*The [[Reader in Esoteric Studies]]
*The [[Reader in Woolly Thinking]]

===The Staff===
*[[Modo]], Gardener
*Mrs. [[Whitlow]], head of housekeeping
*The [[Bledlows]], the UU's policemen, nowadays basically the porters
**[[McAbre]], Head Bledlow
**[[Gelid]], Bledlow
**[[Alphonse Nobbs]] (no relation), Bledlow
**[[Frankly Ottomy]], Bledlow
*[[Glenda Sugarbean]], head of the [[Night Kitchen]]
**[[Juliet Stollop]], one of Ms Sugarbean's workers
**Mrs. Hedges, Night Kitchen cheeseboards
**Mildred & Rachel, Night Kitchen vegetable women
* [[Ksandra]], hapless undermaid
*The [[Candle Knave]], Mr [[Natchbull Smeems|Smeems]]
*The [[Candle Dribbler|Candle Dribblers]] of [[The Vats|the Vats]]
*Mr. [[Downbody]], one of the servants in the [[Uncommon Room]]
*Mr [[Blunk]], the coal porter

===Former Faculty & Staff===
* [[Windle Poons]], wizard (deceased).
* [[Evans the Striped]], sports master (deceased).
*[[Brother Fingers]] once worked as an odd-job man at UU.
*[[Inspector Lewton]] briefly hired on as a dormitory bedmaker in [[Discworld Noir]], but only as a ruse to snoop around the campus.
* Dr. [[Fettle Dodgast]], age 132 when interviewed in {{TT}}, most likely belongs among the ''former'', not current, faculty by now.
* Dr [[Sensibility Bustle]], DM, Phil, B.EI L, Patricius Professor of Magic, linguistics expert and hiver researcher (deceased).
* Professor H.F. Pullunder (Doctor Erratamus) is mentioned by Ponder while reading the Book of Traditions. No one recognizes the name.
* Dr. Earwig retired to get married to a witch, now Mrs. [[Letice Earwig]].
* Dr. Housemartin left UU for medical reasons (a bad case of work-related frogs).

===Former Archchancellors===
*[[Albert|Alberto Malich]] – founder
*Archchancellor [[Bewdley]] – according to his commemorative statue, disliked Ankh-Morpork intensely. According to {{TLC}}, a magical hole opened in his left boot.
*Archchancellor "Trouter" Hopkins – his actual preserved body is in the great hall, having put in his will that he wanted his body to be pickled in alcohol posthumously.
*Archchancellor William Badger – a very unpopular man, whose likeness is on the University's drain covers.
*Archchancellor [[Galder Weatherwax]] – Archchancellor in {{TLF}}
*Archchancellor [[Cutangle]] – Archchancellor in {{ER}}
*Archchancellor-Elect [[Virrid Wayzygoose]] – an ''almost''-Archchancellor who died before his own inaugural dinner in {{S}}
*Archchancellor [[Ezrolith Churn]] – Archchancellor in {{E}}
*Archchancellor [[Buckleby]] – Apparently locked himself in his own wardrobe. Mentioned in {{H}}
*Archchancellor [[Spode]] – mentioned in {{H}} and instituted a rule about locking doors
*Archchancellor [[Sloman]] – mentioned in "A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices"; discovered the Special Theory of Slood
*Archchancellor [[Bowell]] – left an unusual bequest and has a vestibule named after him (see below)
*Archchancellor Preserved Bigger – left a substantial bequest with the requirement that UU play football at least once every 20 years.

==The Orders of Wizardry==
*[[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]]
*[[Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle]]
*[[Brotherhood of the Hoodwink]]
*[[Brothers of the Order of Midnight]]
*[[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]
*[[Venerable Council of Seers]]
*[[Mrs Widgery's Lodgers]]
*[[The Last Order]]

==Terms==
There are eight terms, each one is roughly one week long, to minimise the time that the professers must spend teaching. However, the students continue to live and study on their own for the remainder of the year. The terms are called:
*Octinity
*Rotation
*Backspindle
*Hogswatch
*Evelyn
*Micklemote
*Candlerent
*Soul Cakes

==Unseen University Degrees==
These are the UU courses in magic and related topics. UU also offers lesser degrees in medicine, law, geology and so on, but lecturers are required to have at least one magical degree from UU before they are allowed to teach.

The full list can be [[UU degrees|found here]].

==Customs and traditions==
===Beating the Bounds===
Also known as "plunkers", this ceremony takes place each year at dawn on the 22nd of Grune. The entire faculty walks along the original boundaries of the University, walking through or if necessary over any buildings in the way of the original march route. Any nearby citizens are hit with live ferrets, and any red-headed men (except for one [[Carrot|Captain Ironfoundersson]]) are given a "plunking". Upon return to the University, breakfast is served, in which duck must be present.

In our world the beating of the bounds of Oxford takes place every Ascension day (changes every year but it is either May or June).

===Boy Archchancellor===
Occurring at around [[Hogswatch]], a first year student is selected to be the Archchancellor for the day. He has the full powers of Archchancellorship, and there is many a tale of him performing all manner of jokes and pranks on the most senior wizards. Because his life expectancy following this will almost certainly be brief, the boy chosen is normally the University's most unpopular student.

This is similar to the idea of a boy bishop, which is present in our world.

===The Convivium===
The Degrees ceremony, in which the [[Archchancellor]], University Council, eighth level wizards, masters and doctors proceed from the University to the [[Opera House]]. They are led by the Commander of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], or if there isn't one, then by a man carrying a pot of mustard and a quill. Foreign dignitaries, city officials and nobles are also invited to this ceremony, and upon arrival at the Opera House, the [[Patrician]] will present the graduates with their degrees.

===Gaudy Night===
This appears to be a follow up of the Convivium, and the new graduates attend a feast in the Great Hall of the University, making an even greater effort than usual to be the best dressed. The winner is thrown into the river by the losers.

This is an celebration dinner at Oxford University, around which the novel ''Gaudy Night'' by Dorothy L. Sayers is based.

===Head of the River===
Because of the difficulty of rowing on the river, teams of eight wizards will carry the racing skiffs and run from the University boathouse to the Brass Bridge. The course is known as the "Bumps", and the winning team is awarded a "Brown" (a new pair of brown boots to replace the ones that will by now have been effectively disintegrated). They are now referred to as "Head of the River". One past winner of this race is the current Archchancellor, [[Mustrum Ridcully|Mustrum Ridcully the Brown]].

===May Morning===
Every May Day Dawn, the University choir sing from the top of the [[Tower of Art]] to the rest of the faculty, assembled below. Although the anthem cannot be heard, the Tower of Art being 800 feet high, the listeners still clap after five minutes, the length of time taken to sing the anthem.

===The Poor Scholars===
This harks back to the founding days of the University, when young, but poor men with magical talent were accepted into the universities. However, there was no accommodation space for them, so they lived in lean-tos against the walls of the [[Tower of Art]]. As a recognition of their determination, the faculty would throw food down to (or at) the poor scholars. Now, this ceremony takes place once a year, and the students gather in [[Sator Square]], where the faculty throw stale bread rolls at them as hard as they can.

===Rag week===
This is the entire backspindle term. On this week, the wizards are let loose on Ankh-Morpork. Activities include the Short Street Climb, in which the wizards climb sideways across the streets. Some fail to reach the end, and fall into the [[the Mended Drum]]. Another custom is tobogganing, in which the wizards go up to the Tower of Art on teatrays, and then toboggan back down. It must be noted that for this to happen, the involved students must have consumed a large amount of alcohol.

===Scrawn Money===
Also known as "Archchancellor Scrawn's bequest", this rather dated ceremony requires all those who live on University property to assemble in Sator Square, where they are given two pennies, a pair of socks, and a loaf of day-old bread each. They are then allowed to watch the wizards eat lunch.

==='Sity and Guilds===
Due to the rivalry induced violence between students of the various [[guilds]] and the university, it was decided to channel the rivalries into an annual sporting match, similar to football or rugby. The "playing field" was from [[The Shades]] to the Tower of Art. Goals are scored by kicking the ball through the door or window of a pub, and the scoring team had to get drinks bought by the other teams. Only one goal per pub was allowed due to the length of some games that had not benefited from this rule. It appears that the Unseen University has not participated in this for some time now.

===The Wizards' Excuse Me===
A large dance at the end of the Backspindle term, to which the city nobles are also invited. There are two bands and a giant buffet with three dozen kinds of meat.

=== Archchancellor [[Bowell]]'s Remembrance's bun and penny ===
An extant bequest pays for one small currant bun and one copper penny to be placed on a high stone shelf on one wall of this vestibule (circular hall) every second Wednesday. No one knows why this is done, or even why the vestibule is named [[Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance]] ({{H}})

===The Hunting of the Megapode===
A veritable heyhoe-rumbledown as all fellows pursue the [[Megapode]] through the college buildings with much mirth and good spirits.

===Archchancellor Preserved Bigger's Bequest, or Poore Boys Funne===

The Bigger's Bequest is a very large fund. Monies from the interest on the fund cover approximately 78% of the college food bill. It does however carry conditions, in order for the UU to have access to these funds they must play [[Football]] at least once every twenty years.
Food is ''important'' to the modern wizard: the University appears to be regualted as tightly as any ship at sea by its [[Unseen University Mealtimes|mealtimes]], which happen at approximately two-hour intervals throughout the day and night, like the ship's bells that tell sailors what watch they're on. Therefore while there is much grumbling and reluctance, the vital necessity to play football is acknowledged in {{UA}}.

==Flora and Fauna==
The grounds are closed and heavily contaminated with magic, so a special ecosystem has evolved within Unseen University, with many wondrous creatures not found elsewhere, and many highly intelligent and civilized varieties of common house pests. These include:
*[[.303 Bookworm]] in the Library.
*Ants; some pull carts, some ride on beetles. One time, a clan of ants built a sugar pyramid for the mummy of a deceased queen (on the walls the true secret of longevity was inscribed, but it was lost when it was washed out).
*Bedbugs in Rincewind's mattress, smart enough to take the mattress with them when they feel they need to flee the University.
*Cockroaches; billions of them can march with their steps perfectly in time.
*[[Critters]] in the Library.
* Escaped demons in the cellar.
*Flying insects (including bees) who are not only capable of leaving a room by the window through which they entered, they can unerringly pick out a tiny hole in the glass no larger than a small coin, and enter and leave via this aperture.
*{{wp|Marmosets|Marmosets}} were planned to be used by a previous Archchancellor in order to communicate throughout the university (a piped system).
*[[Rats]] who seem to understand human speech. Some have moved to under the [[Patrician's Palace]] and sometimes serve the Patrician, Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]].
*Owls - [[Book:The Ankh-Morpork Post Office Handbook & Diary 2007|The Ankh-Morpork Post Office Handbook & Diary]] notes that there are a large population of owls living in the upper attics of UU. The wizards did once try and use the owls are an internal postal-service to deliver the letters and memos. However these were very intelligent birds, and saw the letters an an easily obtainable source of nesting material. The letters had to be retrieved from owls and stamped 'defected on by owls' (although most people can see this when they get it).
*[[Quoth|Ravens]] talk and are very inquisitive, but not very bright.
*[[Swear-Words]], cussed into being by Ridcully during a time of great magical potential.

:These creatures can be found in: {{ER}}, {{S}}, {{G!G!}}, {{RM}} and {{NW}}.

[[Gargoyles]] - There are a large colony of gargoyles covering much of the ancient buildings of the Unseen University. The first appear in {{ER}}. In wet weather they delight in spitting the water over passing students. In the event of a serious storm however, they have been known to leave the walls and hide under the attics, holding 'that just because your are ugly, doesn't mean you have to be stupid'. In {{S}} the entire gargoyle population abandoned UU, descending to ground level and fleeing across the immaculate grass lawns, sensing the approach of the [[Coin|Sourcerer]].

The University still dumps magical rubbish carelessly in the back alleys of [[Ankh-Morpork]]. The eating of magical rubbish led to the rise of the [[Rats|rat]] Clan, composed of rats not only intelligent but also fluent in human speech. These rats are important characters in ''[[Book:The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents|The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents]]''.

[[Gaspode]], the thinking-brain dog for the [[Canting Crew]], may also have got his thinking abilities and human speech from eating Unseen's rubbish (or, as he says in {{MAA}}, by sleeping next to the High Energy Magic Building), dumped by time-honoured custom in the [[Unreal Estate]]. (Details in {{MP}} and {{MAA}}). This was certainly the case for [[The Amazing Maurice]], an otherwise bright feral tomcat who, before eating Unseen's rubbish at one step removed, was scratching a bare living on the margins, but then got a Big Idea.

[[Schleppel]], a boogeyman, was invited to move into the University's cellars after the events of {{RM}}, and happily looked forward to preying on its various wildlife. It is uncertain how he may have fitted into its curious ecology.

==Annotation==
The name of the Unseen University probably comes from the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_College Invisible College]

[[de:Unsichtbare Universität]]
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses]]

Talk:University Calendar

2014-01-01T07:30:18Z

Confusion: Maybe

I'm confused - UU was founded long after AM - but it says in the books that the Tower of Art was there first and the city was built around it. So did the Tower of Art exist before UU despite being magical? Or did I misread something? - Hapenny, 19th December 2007.

I never really thought about it, but I wonder if it was a tower of sourcery back in the bad old days of the sorcerers? Maybe AM used to be a sourcerer's castle or something, and the tower is the only thing that was left standing after the Mage Wars? The mind runs rampant w/ possibilities! [[User:Kellyterryjones|Kellyterryjones]] 21:58, 19 December 2007 (CET)

The [[Book:The New Discworld Companion|Companion]] says it's ancient beyond knowledge, certainly much
older than the city.--[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 23:44, 19 December 2007 (CET)

A sorcery tower is possible, but this may or may not have been its original purpose. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:30, 1 January 2014 (GMT)

Headology

2014-01-01T07:27:32Z

Confusion: Typo

Like psychology, but many [[witches magic|witches]] think "psychology" is a bad word, or that it means "having a psychological problem". The practice of headology relies on the principle that what people believe is what is real. This is used by witches to earn respect or at least fear, and also to cure patients. For an exemplary combinatorial use of headology, herbal medicine, and physical therapy, see old Jarge Weaver's visit to Granny Weatherwax in {{M!!!}}.

The power of '''Headology''' is not to be underestimated. Clearly, the way a person sees himself and the surrounding world forms the person's reality. If this view is changed effectively through the use of Headology then this person's reality changes. This allows witches to make people think they are frogs, for example. Witches generally think that Headology is a more powerful style of magic than any of the fancy stuff wizards use. Headology is what witching is all about. A witch needs a very powerful, focused, and trained mind to use Headology. [[Granny Weatherwax]] is the foremost practitioner of Headology on Discworld.

Headology can take advantage of a voodoo witch's belief that anything done to a doll is also done to the person that doll represents, and turn it back on the person holding the doll (so as to stick pins in it) in some surprising but logical ways. It can leave a family of vampires, who have just ill-advisedly dined on Granny's blood, incapacitated and craving nothing more than a very strong cup of tea with six sugars in it: Granny may have been vampired, but the vampires discover that they have also been well and truly Weatherwaxed.

== Power of Accessories ==
Many kinds of accessories confer a certain degree of identity. For example, The Archchancellor's hat is the symbol of magic under the control of [[Wizards' Magic|wizardry]], and each wizards' hat signifies them as a wizard to non-mages. A [[Ynci|warrior's helmet]] confers the identity of a warrior (see {{LL}}). A bone-white mask confers the identity of a mysterious artist (see {{M!!!}}). And a witch's hat confers the authority of a witch. Generally, a witch is most powerful when the people around know (or at least think) that she is a powerful witch. The witch's hat is a symbol of office. Younger witches often feel much better for having their hats on, some even wearing it indoors.

Similarly, the [[Moist von Lipwig|Postmaster]]'s golden wingèd hat is a powerful thing and confers respect on all who see it, as well as a sense of power and responsibility on all who wear it.

See also: [[Boffo (Concept)|Boffo]]

[[Category:Witches]]
[[Category:Discworld concepts]]
[[de:Kopfologie]]

Headology

2014-01-01T07:25:24Z

Confusion: No longer used

Like psychology, but many [[witches magic|witches]] think "psychology" is a bad word, or that it means "having a psychological problem". The practice of headology relies on the principle that what people believe is what is real. This is used by witches to earn respect or at least fear, and also to cure patients. For an exemplary combinatorial use of headology, herbal medicine, and physical therapy, see old Jarge Weaver's visit to Granny Weatherwax in {{M!!!}}.

The power of '''Headology''' is not to be underestimated. Clearly, the way a person sees himself and the surrounding world forms the person's reality. If this view is changed effectively through the use of Headology then this person's reality changes. This allows witches to make people think they are frogs, for example. Witches generally think that Headology is a more powerful style of magic than any of the fancy stuff wizards use. Headology is what witching is all about. A witch needs a very powerful, focused, and trained mind to use Headology. [[Granny Weatherwax]] is the foremost practitioner of Headology on Discworld.

Headology can take advantage of a voodoo witch's belief that anything done to a doll is also done to the person that doll represents, and turn it back on the person holding the doll (so as to stick pins in it) in some surprising but logical ways. It can leave a family of vampires, who have just ill-advisedly dined on Granny's blood, incapacitated and craving nothing more than a very strong cup of tea with six sugars in it: Granny may have been vampired, but the vampires discover that they have also been well and truly Weatherwaxed.

== Power of Accessories ==
Many kinds of accessories confer a certain degree of identity. For example, The Archchancellors hat is the symbol of magic under the control of [[Wizards' Magic|wizardry]], and each wizards' hat signifies them as a wizard to non-mages. A [[Ynci|warrior's helmet]] confers the identity of a warrior (see {{LL}}). A bone-white mask confers the identity of a mysterious artist (see {{M!!!}}). And a witch's hat confers the authority of a witch. Generally, a witch is most powerful when the people around know (or at least think) that she is a powerful witch. The witch's hat is a symbol of office. Younger witches often feel much better for having their hats on, some even wearing it indoors.

Similarly, the [[Moist von Lipwig|Postmaster]]'s golden wingèd hat is a powerful thing and confers respect on all who see it, as well as a sense of power and responsibility on all who wear it.

See also: [[Boffo (Concept)|Boffo]]

[[Category:Witches]]
[[Category:Discworld concepts]]
[[de:Kopfologie]]

Talk:Cheery Littlebottom

2014-01-01T07:21:37Z

Confusion: According to the dwarfs...

I've been trying to find the referent for ages, without success, but the BBC several years ago screened a documentary about a lonely lady dwarf looking for love on Roundworld. She was a victim of the achondroplasmic disorder that makes dwarfs on Roundworld, and she was also a compellingly attractive 3' 11" blonde. I really wish I could find photographs or at least links to stills from the TV show, as she is (to me) ''exactly'' as you'd expect Cheery Littlebottom to look without the beard...--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 03:19, 12 September 2010 (CEST)

I would feel justified in using this lady's image here to illustrate the point (or if BBC copyright prevents, posting a link to images) as she has already indicated a willlingness to live life in the open subject to public view. But while I have found other images of dwarfesses on the Net that have a certain "Cheery-ness" to them, I am reluctant to post as I suspect I'd be intruding on their privacy - these images would come from family web-sites or other personal pages, for instance.

Oh, and achondroplasmia is the most common, accounting for 70% of instances of dwarfism, although nearly 200 conditions and genetic disorders can bring it about. Apparently one in 20.000 people in Britain and the USA are touched by dwarfism in some way (I'm thinking of comic actor and writer Andy Hamilton here for some reason). See here[http://biodwarfism.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html] for interesting information. --[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 03:36, 12 September 2010 (CEST)

:[[Dwarfs|Dwarves]], however, don't think of dwarfism as a disorder or condition (unless as the natural condition). It's perfectly normal for them: people who need seven-foot ceilings are weird. - --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 04:59, 12 September 2010 (CEST)

It's an interesting philosophical point, though. If we take Great Britain as a starting point, its dwarf population is approx. 3,000. (one in twenty thousand of fifty-five million).

Therefore a deviation from the norm rather than a separate ethnicity or social grouping. But if at some point in the past, achondroplasmia had been very much more prevalent in the population, along with other gene-markers such as enhanced longevity and the gene for facial hair in women... would this have provoked a separation of two humanoid species that shared a common ancestor? And the shorter and moree vulnerable of the two species saw what Cro-Magnon Man did to Neanderthal Man, learnt a lesson about ''realpolitik'' and retreated underground before the same happened to it, deciding to evolve better weapons and protective armour as additional insurance...--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 10:11, 15 September 2010 (CEST)
:But do not the Ancient Texts tell us that in Middle Earth as well as the Discworld, the Dwarves were there first? (Sounds like a thesis for some original fiction, though.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 00:00, 16 September 2010 (CEST)

Which holds out the possibility that I have it exactly wrong, or it depends on where you're standing and how high your eyes are off the ground... what if achondroplasmia is the ''norm'' for humanoid races, and human beings have some sort of inherent genetic shortcoming leading to shorter lives, excessive tallness and far less facial hair in females...--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 14:03, 16 September 2010 (CEST)

According to the dwarves, they came at the same time (see [[Tak]]), but this is unreliable since they also say that trolls came slightly later, when in fact they are believed (in {{TFE}} and maybe others) to be the first sentient species on Discworld. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:21, 1 January 2014 (GMT)

Talk:Tubso

2013-12-31T22:55:53Z

Confusion: Forgotten sins,

Is there any reason to believe the Virtues outnumber the Sins in Discworld? It seems to me far more likely that there are Eight Deadly Sins as well (two of which, of course, would be counterparts to the virtues no-one remembers. Maybe one of them is [[Panipunitiplasty]]). [[Special:Contributions/195.93.21.35|195.93.21.35]] 17:01, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

At least in Ankh-Morpork, it seems easier for a virtue to be forgotten than a sin. Perhaps the sins remembered/practiced outnumber the virtues. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 22:55, 31 December 2013 (GMT)

Talk:John Keel

2013-12-31T22:51:44Z

Confusion: The egg

Why the egg? :)

[[User:Myshkin|Myshkin]] 21:20, 15 August 2007 (CEST)

:At which point do you mean? When he first asks for it, when he gets it, at the beginning of thebook when Dibbler mentions it or at the end when it's on the gravestone? --[[User:Knmatt|Knmatt]] 21:24, 15 August 2007 (CEST)

The basic idea is that when asked about what ideals he wants for the government, he asks for a hard boiled egg, since he feels that the ideals seem unlikely. He does not actually get to eat the egg he is given later, and a hard boiled egg is put on his grave at the anniversary of the revolution every year as a historical joke. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 22:51, 31 December 2013 (GMT)

Caderack Mountains

2013-12-31T21:26:57Z

Confusion:

Not to be confused with the [[Carrack Mountains]] that frame the [[Sto Plains]], the '''Caderack''' range flows [[turnwise]] from [[Llamedos]] until it produces the peninsula that forms [[Whale Bay]].

It is known the be occupied at least in part by [[Gnolls]].
{{stub}}

:
[[Category: Discworld geography]]
[[de:Caderackberge]]

Talk:Book:Wyrd Sisters/Annotations

2013-12-31T07:53:17Z

Confusion: Even normal people

Of course the fool can sense him, even normal people can tell if a ghost is at least in the same place they are. For example, the person asking after his seat during the play could not stay seated in the same place as Verence. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:53, 31 December 2013 (GMT)

Talk:Death

2013-12-31T07:49:19Z

Confusion: /* Inconsistency */ normal

Now this [http://store.glennz.com/practicaljoke.html?gclid=CM_Sj6-Sg6wCFQJThwodOVvfOA] is a T-Shirt worth getting. --[[User:Zdm|Zdm]] 07:57, 25 October 2011 (CEST)

==Death quotes==

You can use [[Template:Death]] if you want to write Death quotes to get his special style of speech. You write normally with upper and lower case.

<nowiki>{{death|I don't know about you, }}he said, {{death|but I could murder a curry.}}</nowiki>

{{death|I don't know about you, }}he said, {{death|but I could murder a curry.}}

== Appearances ==

Aren't there other books where Death doesn't appear? {{TT}}? {{NW}}? --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 11:11, 29 January 2007 (CET)

:He appears in {{TT}} when Pin and Tulip die.
:[[User:Fhh98|Fhh98]] 01:15, 1 February 2007 (CET) (edit to add sig)

::He's in {{HFOS}} not sure about {{W}} though--[[User:Teletran|Teletran]] 16:40, 31 January 2007 (CET)

::Yeah, he's in both of them. I've edited it to say so.

: Death is in every single book except [Wee Free Men]

He's not in the new one - I've up[dated the page to reflect that.--[[Special:Contributions/78.86.159.223|78.86.159.223]] 01:02, 27 October 2009 (UTC)

==In the Discworld Companion==

According to the Discworld Companion (Gollancz first edition 1994), NINE people have visited the house of Death whilst still being alive. (p198)

Try as I might I can only make this EIGHT mortal visitors who have returned alive to the mortal world afterwards.

These are
*[[Rincewind]]
*[[Twoflower]]
*[[Ysabell]]
*[[Mort]]
*[[Albert]]
*[[Igneous Cutwell]] the wizard
*Princess [[Keli]]
*[[Susan Sto Helit]]

Unless Quoth the raven counts as a mortal person... in which case, Binky makes it ten...

So who is the ninth? The companion doesn't list them.

Thanks for the help... this is driving me nuts. I have considered the possibility the Companion might be wrong...[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 01:07, 1 June 2007 (CEST)

Also consider that they may be trying to drive you nuts – devious buggers, both of them.
The comment doesn't seem to have carried over to the New Companion. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 19:42, 1 June 2007 (CEST)

Just worked it out.... the ninth is, most probably, otherwise un-named plumber who was engaged by Albert and who installed the bath, sink and toilet. No doubt learning that in ''this'' place, there is no such time as "by next week, squire".

"He is believed to be one of only nine people to have visited the country of DEATH while still mortal"... {{NDC}}, paperback edition, p340... the quote is still there.

:Only, if he called in a plumber to do the bathroom...who built the rest of the place? (See annotation to [[Creosote]] re: estimate for Xanadu.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 22:23, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

Death built the house. As I recall, Albert called in the plumber because Death had no grasp of the principles of plumbing; the pipes were hollow, etc.. [[Special:Contributions/198.54.202.130|198.54.202.130]] 17:18, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

:Again, the quote is on p.201 in mine, of 280 total. (Gollancz 2003, 9" tall.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 22:40, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

== Relationship with Granny Weatherwax ==

Death's rather... unique working relationship with Granny Weatherwax comes up repetitively in the books. I'm not sure about what you guys think, but I'd say it deserves a section in this article, or at least a mention. What do you think?[[Special:Contributions/198.54.202.130|198.54.202.130]] 16:15, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
:By all means; if you have the research, write away. (Signing in first would be a bonus.) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 19:32, 10 July 2009 (UTC)

== Inconsistency ==

I've noticed this both in the books and on this site: While I don't think much of it Death in early books has his name capitalized and his second-person references, such as His or He. However, the recent books don't do this. Any opinions on the definitive version? I've noticed this site, too, alternates between upper- and lower-case for his second-person. [[User:Doctor Whiteface|Doctor Whiteface]] 02:42, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

There are all kinds of inconsistencies like this. If it really bothers you on the site, feel free to fix it either way, although it may be tricky. --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:49, 31 December 2013 (GMT)

== Small Caps ==

I've been reading the series through Harper-Fiction, and from the book "Small Gods' onwards, Death doesn't speak in Small Caps, but in regular caps. This irks me beyond belief, does anyone know why? - Jason

To make it easier for the typesetter and to get the book out that much more quickly?--[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 09:46, 25 October 2011 (CEST)

== A tradition ends.. ==

Incidentally, {{SN}} must be the first mainstream Discworld novel, as opposed to one of the Tiffany Aching series, where Death does not make any sort of appearance whatsoever. People - and goblins - die, but no Death to usher them to the Desrt or goblin equivalent thereof.... (Prove me wrong and delete this...) This has been a feature of all the novels to date, and not seeing Death do a walk-on part made me quite sad... --[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] 09:48, 25 October 2011 (CEST)

:Alas, you are correct- there is no Death cameo in this book. [[User:TC01|TC01]] 19:58, 25 October 2011 (CEST)

Death

2013-12-31T07:43:05Z

Confusion: Huh?

{{Character Data
|title=Death
|Death Illustrated by [[User:whtmnk|Christopher Stryjewski]] a.k.a. whtmnk
|photo= D1rip.jpg
|name=Death
|age= As old as the death of the first living thing
|race=[[Anthropomorphic personification]]
|occupation=Releasing the spirits of dead beings
|appearance=Tall, not what you'd call fleshy, {{death|Talks like this}}
|residence= [[Death's Domain]]
|death= Nearly, in {{RM}}
|parents=
|relatives= [[Susan Sto Helit]] (Granddaughter)
|children= [[Ysabell]] (Adopted Daughter)<br>[[Mort]] (son-in-law)
|marital status= Never Married... for some reason...
|books= {{M}}<BR>{{S}}<BR>{{RM}}<BR>{{SM}}<BR>{{H}}<BR>{{TOT}}<br>''[[Discworld Noir]]''
|cameos= Every [[:category:Discworld Series|Discworld book]] except {{WFM}}
}}
'''Death''' is the [[anthropomorphic personification]] of death on the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]]. He appears as the traditional Grim Reaper, with a skeletal body, a black robe and a [[Death's Scythe|scythe]] (or sometimes a sword for royalty) and {{death|talks in unquoted small caps}}. Death appears for the first time in the first novel, ''[[Book:The Colour of Magic|The Colour of Magic]]'' (though it is suggested that his first appearance was actually that of his 'stand-in', [[Scrofula]]), and reappears in all of the stories that take place in the Discworld universe, with the exception of ''[[Book:The Wee Free Men|The Wee Free Men]]'', a [[Tiffany Aching]] young adult book and {{SN}}.

Death is fascinated with humans in general, and as a result attempts to emulate their behaviour, if only to better understand them. However, as an immortal skeletal who does not have to pay heed to fatigue or even time, he seems to lack comprehension of some human concepts, such as detective novels. He is also described by [[Susan]] as someone who would solve world hunger, not by changing socioeconomic forces, but by giving everyone a good meal. While his job and anatomy cause a lack of emotions which he displays in his {{death|hollow voice}}, Death can be quite passionate about life in general and in some cases, actively defends it against the depredations of the [[Auditors]].

Death had an apprentice named [[Mort]] and an adopted daughter named [[Ysabell]], who later got married and left him to become the Duke and Duchess of [[Sto Helit]]. Sometimes he visits [[Susan Sto Helit]], his grand-daughter through them. When not out and about, Death lives alone in [[Death's Domain]] with his manservant [[Albert]] and, since the events of ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'', the [[Death of Rats]]. Also members of the [[Death's Domain|household]] are the famed pale horse, named [[Binky]], and at times [[Quoth]] the talking raven.

He is fond of kittens, Binky, Susan, Albert, curries and life (without which he would be useless). He ''strongly'' dislikes the [[Auditors]], whose machinations against life he considers to be cheating, and at times has seemed to resent [[Rincewind]]'s unpunctuality, though at other times he has seemed more amiable toward him. He sticks by his duty and very rarely interferes in human affairs, because of The Rules. He ''has'', however, been known to persuade Susan to act in his stead, not always by straightforward means; she occasionally reflects that he may have learnt a bit more about human behaviour than he lets on.

While of course in a ''sense'' he is there for every death, he need only personally attend to relatively few in order to keep things running. Death is however a caring individual and likes to keep an eye on things he does not necessarily need to, sometimes to the extend to be present at the end of a tiny tube worm on the abyssal floor. He gets quite upset when people (mostly those freshly severed from their bodies) accuse him of killing them. He argues that he simply allows them to leave this world and enter the next, and empirical evidence (such as the results of his various voluntary and involuntary sabbaticals) seems to bear this out. His jurisdiction, so to speak, appears to be Discworld itself; he is not Death in the universal sense.

Every living individual has a book in the great [[Death's Domain|Library]] of Death, and an hourglass-shaped [[Life-timer|lifetimer]] in a cathedral-dwarfing room that exists solely for the purpose of housing them. The look of each one seems to be personalised, and they keep on writing themselves or pouring sand through until the associated person dies. The books remain; the lifetimers apparently pop out of existence and new ones appear in their place, as a new life begins.

Death also introduces individuals to [[The Desert]] from time to time. Each soul has to walk the desert - to what end, Death refuses to be drawn. There is no justice, there is only him.

While Death himself cannot be seen by most individuals, (with the exceptions of cats, children, wizards and other anthropomorphic personifications,) unless he wants them to see him, he is unable to see immortal beings, as they are not subject to his "''power''". As they cannot die, he has nothing to with with them and thus cannot see them. This reflects that most humans cannot see him, as they naturally do not think about dying.

He was there when the first proto-life faded, and has been given his general shape by the belief of humans - of all creatures the most afraid of dying and the most likely to have evolved an agrarian culture in which scythes feature. He is also still there at the end of all things, as evidenced by his appearance at the end of time and space when [[Astfgl]] arrives to destroy [[Rincewind]]. Death is just about to metaphorically turn the lights out in the universe when he sees a new one germinating. Eventually, he thinks, there will be life. And therefore death. He will be needed. He can wait.

Death is a servant of [[Azrael]], the 'Death of Universes'; an entity of enormously unthinkable scope and size, "the Ultimate Reality". Azrael is the Being from whom all lesser-Deaths are mere reflections or aspects.

===Appearances===

[[Image:Death.jpg|200px|left|thumb|[[Death]]]]In {{RM}} Death is forced to retire by the Auditors, who fear he has become too human. He assumes the name Bill Door and finds work on [[Renata Flitworth|Miss Flitworth's]] farm as a farmhand. When the [[New Death]] is formed, it comes to claim Bill: he outwits it and destroys it, then resumes his role as Death.

In {{H}} we find that [[Jonathan Teatime|Mr. Teatime]] has devised a plan to kill Death, though no details are given, and he is skewered by Susan with a fireplace poker before he has a chance to execute it. His dialogue in the Tooth Fairy's castle suggests that he intended to strike Death with his own sword, which is reputed to be able to cut anything.

He has one of what Albert calls his 'fancies' during the events of {{SM}}, and tries to join the [[Klatchian Foreign Legion]] where he is called [[Beau Nidle]], fails in his quest for forgetfulness, and repairs to Ankh-Morpork to drink too much, all to forget what he is and has to do. He ends up as a member of the [[Canting Crew]], with the unusual moniker of 'Mr Scrub'. Beggars seem just as invisible as anthropomorphic personifications.

Death has a major role in ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]'', ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'', ''[[Book:Soul Music|Soul Music]], [[Book:Hogfather|Hogfather]]'' and ''[[Book:Thief of Time|Thief of Time]]''. As a member of the [[Four Horsemen]] of the [[Apocralypse]], he plays an obligatory role in ''[[Book:Sourcery|Sourcery]]'' and ''[[Book:Thief of Time|Thief of Time]]''.

== Annotation: the birth of Death ==
[[File:Seventh-seal.jpg|275px|thumb|right|The knight offers Death the choice of playing black or white in the game of chess.]]
In the Richard Dimbleby lecture, broadcast on Monday 1st February 2010 on BBC1, Terry revealed that at the age of four at his grandparents' house, he got to see the classic Ingmar Bergman film ''[[Wikipedia: The Seventh Seal|The Seventh Seal]]'' and therefore one of his earliest childhood memories is the defining game of chess between Bergman's death and the knight whose soul is in limbo: ''"...the Grim Reaper did not seem so terribly grim...the image has remained with me ever since."''

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Death (Discworld)|Death's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities]]
[[de:Tod]]

Talk:Susan Sto Helit

2013-12-31T07:38:35Z

Confusion: Coat of arms

How is the coat of arms surprising? Is there any particular reason that it could not be changed (probably by Mort or Ysabell, it seems unlikely that Susan would care enough to do it)? --[[User:Confusion|Confusion]] ([[User talk:Confusion|talk]]) 07:38, 31 December 2013 (GMT)

Clinkerbelle

2013-12-31T07:27:07Z

Confusion: Never mind

With a set of flimsy gauze wings glued to his back, this was a small troll who attempted to establish the hitherto unknown tradition of a Troll [[Tooth Fairy]].

It is thought that he had heard that humans had a cultural practice whereby teeth could be exchanged for small coin, and he had given this what must have been postgraduate-level creative thought about how it could be applied to trolls, whose teeth are of course made of diamond. Being able to exchange small coin for multi-carat jewellery-grade diamond which could then be resold to such as [[Vortin]] for not inconsiderable sums seemed like good economic sense, and thus a scam was born.

Alas, it only lasted as long as it took for him to be hauled in by the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]] whose troll officers were unanimous in dere not being such a fing as a Toof Fairy. But you can't fault a good idea.

==Geology==
Clinker is the residue left in the firebox of a coal-fired boiler.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Troll characters]]