Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]

Makepeace Thomas Bounder

2015-03-11T06:50:10Z

DiscworldFan: /* Annotations */

{{Character Data
|title=Makepeace Thomas Bounder
|photo=
|name=Makepeace Thomas Bounder, "The Poet of the Cabbages"
|age=b. 1825 UC
|race=[[Human]]

|occupation=Poet, hoe operator
|appearance=plump, amiably goofy

|residence=[[Pop 247]]

|death=14th August 1905 UC
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=

|books={{TDA}}
|cameos=
}}
'''Makepeace Thomas Bounder''', "the Poet of the Cabbages", wrote more than two thousand poems, mostly in praise of the sturdy winter vegetables that have made the [[Sto Plains]] famous. He was a tireless promoter of the [[cabbage]] as a foodstuff, a fabric, and for other purposes, but he was strongly opposed to the potato, which he regarded as unwholesome and debilitating, feelings that were made clear in a pamphlet he produced entitled ''A Fulmination Against the Hellish Root''. Bounder is well remembered by many Rimward of the Circle Sea as "some old guy" and "right, the wossname from erm..."

His poems included:
* "Cabbages"
* "Ode to a Carrot Weighing Three Pounds, Four and One Quarter Ounces, Upon the Making of a Necessary Stew"
* "Oh, Parsnips!"

Bounder wrote steadily until his death; when the tragic explosion took his life he had just begun a piece entitled "On First Looking Into a Five-Year-Old Barrel of My Best Pickled Cabbage".

==Annotations==
'''[{{TDA}}, p.90]''' Makepeace's poem "Ode to a Carrot Weighing Three Pounds, Four and One Quarter Ounces, Upon the Making of a Necessary Stew":

:They cut you up, my Mum and Dad
:They do not want to, but they do,
:For all the turnips have gone bad,
:And we must Make a Stew of You...

This a reference to Philip Larkin's 1971 poem "[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Be_The_Verse This Be The Verse]", famous for its opening line.

Makepeace Thomas Bounder may be a roundabout reference to Joseph Gwyer, a Victorian farmer and would-be poet who possessed the same combination of awful talent, refusal to acknowledge his own ineptitude (he was known as "the MacGonagall of Penge"), and fixation upon a common vegetable that he dedicated his repugnant poetry to. Unlike his Discworld equivalent, Gwyer was obsessed with potatoes but had no real antipathy for cabbages.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Bounder,Makepeace Thomas]]
[[Category:Discworld culture|Bounder,Makepeace Thomas]]

Guild of Confectioners

2015-03-11T06:43:29Z

DiscworldFan: /* Annotation */

An organisation representing the interests of [[Ankh-Morpork]]'s manufacturers of sweetmeats, toffees, and what it chooses to define as [[chocolate]].

It is no friend of [[Wienrich and Boettcher]], as the guild believes as an article of faith that foreigners cannot make chocolate the way Ankh people like it. W&B simply do not understand the peculiarities of the city's tastebuds. In its press release, the Guild explains that Ankh-Morpork people are hearty no-nonsense folk who simply do not want "chocolate" which is stuffed with a potentially poisonous 70% cocoa liquor. They are certainly not like effete la-di-dah foreigners who want real cream stuffed into everything.

In fact, they actually prefer chocolate made from (''a glass and a half of?) ''milk, sugar, suet, hooves, lips, miscellaneous squeezings, rat droppings, plaster, flies, tallow, bits of tree, hair, lint, spiders, and powdered cocoa husks (ingredients listed in order of quantity - or at least, what may well go in to making it, depending on what's in the vats at the time).

According to the food standards of the great chocolate producing centres in [[Quirm]] and [[Borogravia]], Ankh-Morpork chocolate is formally classed as "cheese" and only just escapes being labelled as "tile grout" on grounds of colour.

Ankh-Morpork chocolate is to real chocolate what a [[C.M.O.T. Dibbler]] sausage is to meat.

==Annotation==
This may be a thinly-disguised commentary on what the British confectionary industry is pleased to call chocolate, and the way this optimistic claim is received in European countries with a longer and deeper relationship with the cocoa bean and a corresponding reluctance to cut corners by using cheap and possibly inferior ingredients. Eg, France, Belgium, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, all of whom appear to believe that at the very least, true chocolate should have a 60-70% cocoa butter content. Compare this to the 40% which is legally acceptable in Britain, or (I believe) the 25% which is permissible in the United States. As a matter of fact, even British people brought up on Cadbury's oversweetened and under-cocoa-buttered product will wince at the taste of an American "chocolate" product such as Hershey's, which with the best will in the world tastes like cheap and nasty cooking chocolate. The question arises: is this the same reaction a European, from a more chocolate-literate society, might have to the taste of British chocolate? Yes.

In fact, chocolate is one of the foods most famously prone to potentially lethal adultery in Britain's Victorian and earlier eras. Any half-hearted search can turn up a truly ghastly array of "additives" used in chocolate in Britian, ranging from brick dust to red lead.

[[Category: Food and drink]]
[[Category: Guilds|Confectioners, Guild of]]
[[Category: Ankh-Morpork Businesses|Confectioners, Guild of]]

A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End

2015-02-20T09:10:38Z

DiscworldFan:

'''A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End''' is a famous drinking song, first mentioned in {{WS}}.
Due to the song being built around ''double entendres'', [[Nanny Ogg]] has taken a shine to it, and she will happily belt it out to the night sky along with the also less-than-wholesome ''[[Hedgehog Song]]''.

A version of the song, performed by Dave Greenslade, is available on the CD ''[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Terry-Pratchetts-Discworld-Dave-Greenslade/dp/B0000070MA Terry Pratchett's From the Discworld.]''

It is noted that wizards themselves find the song rather confusing, and have been known to defensively ask just what is so funny about their staffs having knobs on the end, or about their insistence on polishing them. For foreigners who may likewise find themselves baffled, it's simple: staff, knob and "polishing the staff/knob" are all vulgar slang terms in British English referring to parts of the phallus, or to the act of male masturbation

[[Category: Discworld culture]]
[[de:Des Zauberers Stab hat einen Knauf am Ende]]

Hedgehog song

2015-02-20T09:07:46Z

DiscworldFan:

'''The Hedgehog Can Never be Buggered at All''', more commonly known as '''The Hedgehog Song''', is one of Discworld's most famous drinking songs. First mentioned in {{WS}}, then referred to in {{WA}}, some lyrics are mentioned, but due to the song's adult subject matter (spanning at least seventeen verses) the full version has not been printed. All that can be known is that in regards to certain interactions between humans and animals, the hedgehog is a most fortunate creature.

In the books, the song is associated with [[Nanny Ogg]], who frequently sings it while intoxicated.

The UK paperback edition of {{WA}} is dedicated ''"to all those people - and why not? - who, after the publication of ''Wyrd Sisters'', deluged the author with their version of the words of 'The Hedgehog Song'. Deary deary me..."''

Speaking of which, several versions of this song can be found around the internet, but the version on Lspace has been "streamlined and expanded by readers of the newsgroup and the L-Space Web site." This is a classic example of a [[Filk]].

The song is actually a very interesting play on words; in British English (and, by extension, Australian English), "bugger" can be either a rather coarse slang term meaning "bother", or it can be a vulgarity referring to anal penetration for sexual purposes (that is, sodomy). A similar sort of crude wordplay/reliance on double entendre can be seen in Nanny Ogg's other favorite song, [[A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End]].

==External link==

[http://www.ie.lspace.org/fandom/songs/hedgehog-song.html Hedgehog song on Lspace]<BR>
Also, set to music, arranged and performed by Warren Mars <BR>(warning: this is practically a cantata, running about 10 minutes and 10 megabytes.) [http://www.ie.lspace.org/fandom/songs/hedgehog-song-6.html The Hedgehog Can Never...]

[[Category:Discworld culture]]
[[de:Igellied]]

Feeney Upshot

2015-02-20T08:49:34Z

DiscworldFan: Correcting Masher's name.

{{Character Data
|title= Chief Constable
|photo=
|name=Feeney Upshot
|race=Human
|age=approx 17
|occupation= Chief Constable of the Shires Watch
|appearance=
|residence= Village near [[Ramkin Hall]] in [[the Shires]]
|death=
|parents=[[Mrs Upshot]]
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=Single
|books=[[Snuff]]
|cameos=
}}

Feeney Upshot is the sole watchmen of the Shires in the beginning of [[Snuff]]. His first appearance in the book is when he shows up to arrest [[Sam Vimes]] in connection of the suspected murder of [[Jethro Jefferson]] the blacksmith. Feeney is an awkward young man estimated to be about 17-years of age by Sam Vimes. He wears no formal uniform, has no helmet, and carries no warrant card. Both his father and grandfather were Constables in the Watch and he was given the inherited position and its truncheon inscribed with "LAW."

Feeney's grandfather had also spent time as a sailor, who brought back his grandmother Ming Chang from [[Bhangbhangduc]]. He learned a number of things from her including her native cuisine, for which she became locally famous, and martial arts. He taught Sam Vimes the move "He Up Down Very Sorry" by example. His grandfather helped him nurture his ability to "read people like books" by taking him around the area, introducing him to people, and telling him their stories. Because of this, he is able to make a very educated guess as to whether you are telling the truth or not and to have some insight into your character.

When he isn't acting in his official capacity as Chief Constable, he uses the lock up for his pigs, which explains its pervasive smell even through the disinfectant used to make it ready for Sam Vimes. His prize pig is a monstrous-looking boar he affectionately calls Masher, whose father was a wild boar that crept in from the woods and coupled with Masher's mother when she was in-season. Though Masher is clever and shows a doggish loyalty and obedience to his owner, he is regarded with considerable fear by the locals, and Chief Constable Upshot makes use of Masher in much the way a more urban watchman would make use of a particularly large, viciously loyal and intimidating dog. Few of the Shire's residents would think of arguing with the Chief Constable if the possibility of Masher slipping his chain is hanging in the air.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Volker Aufstrich]]
{{stub}}

Orcs

2015-02-20T07:15:48Z

DiscworldFan: Added mention of Warhammer orks.

On [[Roundworld]], "Orc" is a word used to refer to various races of tough and warlike humanoid creatures in various fantasy settings. Orcs are often portrayed as misshapen humanoids who are brutal, warmongering, and sadistic. See the annotations below for further information here.

They are the creation of {{wp|Tolkien|JRR Tolkien}}: greater than goblins and harder to kill. They are of human shape, of varying size but always smaller than Men, ugly, filthy, with a taste for human flesh. They are fanged, bow-legged and long-armed, and some have dark skin as if burned. They are portrayed as miserable, crafty and vicious beings. Tolkien conceived many possible origins for them (canonicity is uncertain), but most of them see them as corrupted from a natural creature by the dark lord Morgoth, broken and twisted into his evil soldiers; most commonly known is the theory of corrupted Elves, as it was used in the posthumously published ''The Silmarillion''.

On the Disc, however, although the popular conception is of orcs as we understand them, the only one we've met so far in the entire canon is [[Nutt|Mr Nutt]], who is the protagonist of {{UA}}, during the course of which he explodes all these myths. He is intelligent, well-read and capable of feats of love and poetry.

The Orcs seem to have been used as intelligent weapons by a sinister force just as they are in ''The Lord of the Rings'': they fight with ferocity, so long as a guiding 'will' (e.g., Morgoth or Sauron) compels/directs them. In some places, Tolkien describes Orcs as mainly being battle fodder. Dr [[John Hicks|Hix]] has a way of seeing the creatures in battle and they ''are'' terrible and deadly, but there are whips driving them on. It is not necessarily an inherent evil but a forced one.

In a twist on Tolkien's vision of their begetting, whilst the common view is that they are warped goblins, Lord [[Vetinari]] comments that they must have been bred from men, because only mankind has the wanton capacity for such evil evinced by the orcs in the Dark Wars that enslaved large areas.

They were presumed wiped out, although there have been rumblings of some new colonies/nests and the attempted genocide of them. Vetinari asks [[Nutt]] if he would go with his erstwhile rescuer, [[Mightily Oats|Pastor Oats]] into the heart of the [[Evil Empire]] (shades again of Sauron?), and bring them into the light. It seems an enormous task, but Nutt accepts. Whether we ever hear that tale is in the lap of the {{wp|Alzheimer's disease|Gods}}.

It is an unusual development for the Disc, because there have always been enough non-human races for humans to fight up 'til now. Early in the canon it was [[Gnolls]] taking the place of orcs in the "traditional" fantasy way, and there's always [[Goblins|goblins]], [[Trolls|trolls]] and the like.

==Annotations==

'''Etymology of the word "orc":'''

The modern use of the English word "orc" to denote a race of evil, humanoid creatures begins with {{wp|Tolkien|JRR Tolkien}}. His earliest elvish dictionaries include the entry "Ork (orq-) monster, ogre, demon" together with "orqindi ogresse." Tolkien sometimes used the plural form orqui in his early texts. He sometimes, particularly in ''The Hobbit'', used the word "goblin" instead of "orc" to describe the same type of creature, with the smaller cave-dwelling variety that lived in the Misty Mountains being referred to as "goblin" and the larger ones elsewhere referred to as "orcs".

'''Old English influence:'''

The word "Orc" is Old English for "Foreigner, Monster, Demon" and was used to refer to the Normans invading the English in 1066. Middle Earth in Old English was the place between heaven and hell where humans dwell.

Tolkien's own statements about the real-world origins of his use of the word "orc" are as follows:

* "the word is, as far as I am concerned, actually derived from Old English orc 'demon', but only because of its phonetic suitability"
* "I originally took the word from Old English orc (Beowulf 112 orc-neas and the gloss orc = þyrs ('ogre'), heldeofol ('hell-devil')). This is supposed not to be connected with modern English orc, ork, a name applied to various sea-beasts of the dolphin order."

'''Possible Games Workshop influence:'''

The British-owned and originated miniature wargames company Games Workshop has long promoted a pair of settings, Warhammer Fantasy and its science-fiction descendant Warhammer 40,0000, in which exists a race of orcs (spelt with a K in the sci-fi game) who are biologically engineered super-soldiers, insanely hard to kill, extremely strong, and generally quite dangerous. Furthermore, the culture of these orcs is based upon British football hooligan 'culture', with Cockney-flavored racial language, chanting warcries and general antics. The fact that the orcs of the Discworld are biologically engineered super-soldiers, and the fact that they first receive proper detailing in a book about football culture and hooliganism, certainly invokes comparisons.

[[Category:Discworld humanoid species]][[de:Orks]]

Feeney Upshot

2015-02-20T07:08:47Z

DiscworldFan: Adding details on Gnasher.

{{Character Data
|title= Chief Constable
|photo=
|name=Feeney Upshot
|race=Human
|age=approx 17
|occupation= Chief Constable of the Shires Watch
|appearance=
|residence= Village near [[Ramkin Hall]] in [[the Shires]]
|death=
|parents=[[Mrs Upshot]]
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=Single
|books=[[Snuff]]
|cameos=
}}

Feeney Upshot is the sole watchmen of the Shires in the beginning of [[Snuff]]. His first appearance in the book is when he shows up to arrest [[Sam Vimes]] in connection of the suspected murder of [[Jethro Jefferson]] the blacksmith. Feeney is an awkward young man estimated to be about 17-years of age by Sam Vimes. He wears no formal uniform, has no helmet, and carries no warrant card. Both his father and grandfather were Constables in the Watch and he was given the inherited position and its truncheon inscribed with "LAW."

Feeney's grandfather had also spent time as a sailor, who brought back his grandmother Ming Chang from [[Bhangbhangduc]]. He learned a number of things from her including her native cuisine, for which she became locally famous, and martial arts. He taught Sam Vimes the move "He Up Down Very Sorry" by example. His grandfather helped him nurture his ability to "read people like books" by taking him around the area, introducing him to people, and telling him their stories. Because of this, he is able to make a very educated guess as to whether you are telling the truth or not and to have some insight into your character.

When he isn't acting in his official capacity as Chief Constable, he uses the lock up for his pigs, which explains its pervasive smell even through the disinfectant used to make it ready for Sam Vimes. His prize pig is a monstrous-looking boar he affectionately calls Gnasher, whose father was a wild boar that crept in from the woods and coupled with Gnasher's mother when she was in-season. Though Gnasher is clever and shows a doggish loyalty and obedience to his owner, he is regarded with considerable fear by the locals, and Chief Constable Upshot makes use of Gnasher in much the way a more urban watchman would make use of a particularly large, viciously loyal and intimidating dog. Few of the Shire's residents would think of arguing with the Chief Constable if the possibility of Gnasher slipping his chain is hanging in the air.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Volker Aufstrich]]
{{stub}}

Gnolls

2015-02-20T07:03:05Z

DiscworldFan: Correcting D&D references.

A gnoll can be very crudely described as a fermenting heap of rubbish. They obsessively collect rubbish, and possibly eat most of it; what's left is carried around, and gives gnolls their smell. Some gnolls are street-cleaners in the employ of the rubbish-collecting recycling mogul, Mr. [[Harry King]]. Few people know the real form of gnolls beneath the rubbish, but gnolls are considered humanoid because they are intelligent, can speak, and can be hired. Since a gnoll is effectively "masked" by his rubbish heap, [[William de Worde]] suspected that some gnolls keeping an eye on him in the streets are in fact employed by the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], not his creditor Mr. Harry King (see ''[[Book:The Truth|The Truth]]''). This may be the truth: in {{J}}, [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] is seen to have a [[Grassy Gnoll|gnoll]] called Stoolie on his list of regular informants, who will do odd jobs for the Watch in return for advice on, for instance, where to find the best decomposing ex-seabirds.

Gnolls are referred to in {{ER}}, when [[Eskarina Smith]] is trying to work her passage to Ankh-Morpork with a trading caravan, whose leader is desperately worried about the perils to be found in the [[Paps of Scilla|hills]]. One of which is an infestation of raiding Gnolls, who are described as "a variety of stone-goblin" and as "wiry and wickedly armed". They also practice hospitality of the red-hot knife and bludgeon variety on any travellers they capture. They come across as kindred to Tolkien's Orcs or [[Spirit guide|Geronimo]]'s Apaches: you really would not want to be taken alive by them. There is also a passing reference in {{COM}} to [[Hrun]] the Barbarian being engaged in a pitched battle with them, but he is temporarily thrown off balance by the psychic weight of a lie told about him by [[Rincewind]].

Evidently, the concept of the Gnoll has changed across the course of the books, from something akin to Tolkien's Orcs, to the shambling ambulatory compost heaps seen in later books.

Something of the originally intended viciousness comes out in Stoolie's acknowledgement of Carrot's description of his working practices:

''You pick up this, you pick up that, maybe bash it against a wall till it stops struggling-''

''"'s a vile acur'cy" said the gnoll. There was a bubbling noise that might have been a chuckle.''

==Annotation==

The name ''Gnoll'' derives from a creature in ''Dungeons and Dragons''; the (possibly mythical) origin of the creature in 1st edition is as a half-breed between gnomes and trolls (D&D varieties thereof, not Discworld, before your mind boggles too much). Why a game that already had kobolds, goblins, hobgoblins, orcs, ogres, trolls and giants needed another kind of horrible humanoid is unknown. It was revised from the second edition into its iconic form, a particularly and malicious breed of anthropomorphic hyena embodying all of that race's negative mythological traits, including an appetite for humanoid flesh, practicing slavery and a hatred of all other species.

GURPS Discworld suggests gnolls are a form of troll that is formed of dirt, rather than rock. This would certainly account for their junk-hoarding preferences and smell.

For a people on Planet Earth who fulfil a Gnoll-like function in a city that must share some of the smells of [[Ankh-Morpork]], and where real-life [[Harry King]]s must surely exist, read this article on the Zabbeleen of Cairo, Egypt: [http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A23780270]

"The Gnoll" is the playing ground of English Rugby Union team Bristol. Big, shambling, hairy creatures knocking lumps out of each other? Perhaps a step too far...

Gnolls began as savage and independent beings in {{COM}}, yet recent books have portrayed them as little more than junk hoarders, living and moving mounds of garbage covering the small gnoll itself. This echoes the fall of the Native Americans, who were forced into settlements or into the lowest rungs of society by European settlers. Given the Gnoll diet (anything that doesn't move, and even then there are rumors), however, it is entirely possible that the gnolls prefer this change instead of chafing at it, as did the Native Americans.

Pratchett's gnolls also bear some resemblence to a number of stooped, hoard-hauling creatures encountered by the heroine of the motion picture ''Labyrinth''. These beings carried huge piles of rubbish on their backs, apparently out of sentiment; the heroine is implied to have narrowly escaped becoming one herself.

==Gnolls as Wombles?==

It occurred to me on a different forum while likening the otherwise blameless refuse collectors of Stockport, England to gnolls, that the ol' Pratchett sense of mischief might be at work here. There are so many sly references in the Discworld to the sort of British TV children's shows that people of our age (35-55) might have watched as kids, that if TP wasn't thinking of a VERY obvious association, he's missed a gag here.

In gentler places, such as Wimbledon Common, the evolutionary niche for refuse collection and pickers-up of unconsidered trifles is occupied by warm, cuddly, inoffensive, mammalian creatures called Wombles, who live a blameless communal underground lifestyle based on ''making good use of what Nature provides/Things that most everyday folk leave behind''.

But how long would a Womble last in [[Ankh-Morpork]]? (Indeed, even on Planet Earth, the postulated low-level scavenger living on the leavings-behind of the human race has to be ''tough'', as the [[Nomes]] of the Bromeliad trilogy demonstrate.)

Try redesigning a Womble for Ankh-Morpork... you might end up with something humanoid, but there the resemblance ends. Something tough, reptilian/scaly, bloody-minded, indescribably smelly, habitually filthy, and with a robust attitude to the useful-but-not-quite-dead-yet... in a word, a Gnoll...

Actually, the author Michael de Larrabeiti has ''already'' redesigned the womble as a nasty customer, witness the "Wumbles" in his ''Borribles'' stories.

[[Category:Discworld humanoid species]]
[[de:Gnolle]]