Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]

Foul Ole Ron

2024-04-05T06:41:40Z

Dougnewham:

{{Character Data
|title= Foul Ole Ron
|photo= Blank.jpg|
|name= Foul Ole Ron
|age=
|race= [[Humans|Human]]

|occupation= Beggar (unlicensed)
|appearance= Dirty and smelly, speaking incoherently.

|residence= Mostly under [[Misbegot Bridge]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]

|death=
|parents=
|relatives= His [[Foul Ole Ron's Smell|Smell]]
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{MAA}}, {{SM}}, {{FOC}}, {{H}}, {{J}}, {{TT}}
|cameos= Not really a cameo, but his catchphrase "Millennium Hand and Shrimp" is also used in {{JatB}} by Mrs. [[Tachyon]]
}}
'''Foul Ole Ron''' is a beggar in [[Ankh-Morpork]] and a member of the [[Canting Crew]], a group of beggars which other beggars refuse to have anything to do with (even beggars need somebody to look down on). Given that Ron was described as a member of the Beggars' Guild in ''Men at Arms'', before his first appearance in the Crew, he was either expelled or the subject of one of Discworld's various alternate pasts. Ron is known for his [[Foul Ole Ron's Smell|Smell]], so strong the capital letter is fully justified. In fact, Ron's Smell has evolved a personality of its own, and can be found without Ron, attending opera performance or visiting art galleries.

Ron is also known for the phrases "Bugrit!" and "Millennium Hand and Shrimp", whatever that means. He is often accompanied by his thinking-brain dog, [[Gaspode]]. Interestingly enough, when under the extra pressure of [[Elves]] on top of his usual burdens, the [[Bursar]] once started to talk ''exactly'' like Ron; Ponder Stibbons suspected that they'd overdone the [[Dried Frog Pills]].... ({{LL}})

Another Pratchett character who talks as if she could have an animated and mutually coherent conversation with Ron is Mrs. [[Tachyon]], the mysterious time-travelling bag lady in the [[Johnny Maxwell]] series of books. In [[Book:Johnny and the Bomb|Johnny and the Bomb]], Mrs Tachyon displays a personal familiarity with the phrase "Millennium, Hand And Shrimp!" that will be instantly recognisable to connoisseurs of Ron-speak. It raises the question of where, and from whom, she may have acquired the phrase, on her travels in space-time. (It is of course marginally possible that she has read her way through the Discworld books.)

The [[Assassins' Guild]] has an as yet unfulfilled contract for the inhumation of Ron. The value on his head is one groat. Ron is probably safe: a rule of Assassination is that the deed must be done up close and personally if at all possible, and preferably at the home of the inhumee. Getting up close and personal to a man who has no fixed abode would present operational difficulties, not the least of which is that Assassin finery would corrode and rot on first contact with the Smell. Even an arrow or crossbow bolt might corrode in the very air before reaching him. Besides, which self-respecting Assassin would get out of bed for two pennies? (after Guild Tax).

===External Links===
The secret behind the phrase "Millennium Hand and Shrimp" is revealed in the [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/lords-and-ladies.html annotated pratchett files].
Of course, like stage magic, it's no fun when you know how it's done.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Ron, Foul Ole]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Ron, Foul Ole]]
[[Category:Human characters|Ron, Foul Ole]]
[[de:Stinkender Alter Ron]]

Ponder Stibbons

2024-04-03T06:22:49Z

Dougnewham:

{{Character Data
|title= Ponder Stibbons
|photo= Pond2a.jpg|240px|''© Paul Kidby''
|name= Ponder Stibbons
|age= 24 in {{TLC}}
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[:Category:Wizards|Wizard]]
|appearance= Young (although he has found some grey hairs recently), beardless, bespectacled
|residence= [[Unseen University]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= {{TLC}} tells us that he was raised by his aunt. {{UA}} further reveals that Ponder never knew his father.
|children=
|marital status= Never married but '''''may''''' have had a holiday romance of the shuffling and slightly embarrassed "''...errrm....''" kind with [[Lucy Tockley|Diamanda]] while on study-leave in [[Lancre]]. On the other hand, he might not...
|books= {{MP}} {{LL}} {{SM}} {{IT}} {{H}} {{TLC}} {{TLH}} {{UA}} {{SOD1}} {{SOD2}} {{SOD3}} {{UA}} {{SOD4}} {{RS}}
|cameos= {{NW}} {{GP}} {{MM}} {{TSC}}
}}

'''Ponder Stibbons, HEM, DThau, Reader in Non-Volatile Intelligence, Cantoride Speaker in [[Slood]] Refurgance.''' Ponder Stibbons was once the second-most junior member of the [[Faculty]] of [[Unseen University]], with an absolutely overwhelming interest in the more theoretical branches of applied magic. His senior fellows ignore his researches until circumstances force them upon their notice, whereupon Stibbons does rather over-react.

When he gets the full attention of the fellow wizards he usually completely fails in explaining the topic. Maybe he is unable to verbalise his complex thoughts. On the other hand this may be because it is rather hard to explain quantum physics to someone with the attention span of a 4-year-old. Ponder Stibbons is quite popular with the younger students. He is the Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic and Project Co-ordinator for pretty much all the research projects happening at UU.

Ponder Stibbons can usually be found in the [[High Energy Magic Building]] where he spends his time fiddling with the fabrics of time and space. He also finds it quite convenient that the senior fellows avoid going there. He is the creator (instigator? bemused attendant?) of the University's super-computer [[Hex]] which is also located in the High-Energy Magic Building.

His first appearance is in {{MP}} where he is a student at the Unseen University. His ascension to the [[faculty]] is a result of knocking over a bottle of ink on his final exam and taking the absent [[Victor Tugelbend]]'s instead - an exam that happened to contain only the question "''What is your name?''" One wonders if he's ever thanked Victor for the record test score of 100%. Other student peers included [[Adrian Turnipseed]] and "Crusty" [[Trussett]].

When he reappeared in {{LL}} he had become a member of the faculty as [[Reader in Invisible Writings]], investigating the ''in potentia'' books in [[L-space]]. He is now also Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic, in charge of developing all kinds of equipment and heading research activities in the High Energy Magic Building ({{TLH}}) and Praelector. Shortly before the events of {{UA}} he also acquires the title Master of The Traditions; he now holds twelve positions at the university, thus giving him twelve votes on the college council, which he effectively controls as he is a majority all by himself.

It's possible that his unusually high work ethic for a wizard stems from a guilt need to ''be'' as clever as they all think he is - it could also come from the fact that every time he tried to go out during {{MP}} he had a spate of very bad luck, culminating in a Thing from the [[Dungeon Dimensions]] falling on him. It's mentioned in {{TLC}} that Ponder is afraid of heights.

In {{SOD4}} he has persuaded the University to fund his [[Great Big Thing]], but it malfunctions slightly and drags a Roundworld librarian through L-Space into the Discworld.

Among his more ambitious projects are:
* The [[Discworld (world)|Discworld's]] theory of evolution
* The splitting of the [[thaum]] into its constituent [[Resons|resons]]
* The creation of a small area in which magic doesn't work and that doesn't run on [[Narrativium]] - the [[Roundworld]] project
* The [[Cabinet of Curiosity]]

==Annotation==
Ponder (which means 'think about deeply', 'muse' in English) has grown over the series from an unambitious young man, into one of the most dynamic thinkers on the Disc, and a polymath to whom the wizards often turn "''as one''" whenever some concept or event crops up that they don't understand. He seems to combine a number of [[Roundworld]] historical characters in one insightful and investigative persona. He complains, to the [[Librarian]] and [[Jason Ogg]] in {{LL}}, with "''the agonized expression of a man who has the whole great whirring machinery of the Universe to dismantle and only a bent paper clip to do it with:''"

"''Rocks! Why am I messing around with lumps of stone? When did they ever tell anyone anything? You know, sir, sometimes I think there's a great ocean of truth out there and I'm just sitting on the beach playing with...with stones.''"

This is a direct parody of Sir Isaac Newton, quite probably the greatest Roundworld thinker on natural truths that ever there was, who said: "''I don’t know what I may seem to the world, but as to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay undiscovered all before me.''"

Which either means that Terry has written Ponder as greater than he initially comes across, or that two similarly inquisitive minds have both been struck by the terrible thought that the entire universe is empirically knowable and understandable, quantifiable by immutable laws but that the current state of art/science/knowledge/technomancy is not enough for us to actually discover those laws. This is the heartache of all who truly ''ponder'' (hah!) on the Great Mysteries. For those of us who don't, of course, it's quite enough that we know how to make beer and kebabs - or at least that somebody does, and that we are at liberty to partake of them.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Stibbons, Ponder]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Stibbons, Ponder]]
[[Category:Human characters|Stibbons, Ponder]]
[[Category:Wizards|Stibbons, Ponder]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Stibbons, Ponder]]
[[de:Ponder Stibbons]]

Foul Ole Ron

2024-03-31T19:57:42Z

Dougnewham:

{{Character Data
|title= Foul Ole Ron
|photo= Blank.jpg|
|name= Foul Ole Ron
|age=
|race= [[Humans|Human]]

|occupation= Beggar (unlicensed)
|appearance= Dirty and smelly, speaking incoherently.

|residence= Mostly under [[Misbegot Bridge]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]

|death=
|parents=
|relatives= His [[Foul Ole Ron's Smell|Smell]]
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{MAA}}, {{FOC}}, {{H}}, {{J}}, {{TT}}
|cameos= Not really a cameo, but his catchphrase "Millennium Hand and Shrimp" is also used in {{JatB}} by Mrs. [[Tachyon]], {{SM}} (mentioned)
}}
'''Foul Ole Ron''' is a beggar in [[Ankh-Morpork]] and a member of the [[Canting Crew]], a group of beggars which other beggars refuse to have anything to do with (even beggars need somebody to look down on). Given that Ron was described as a member of the Beggars' Guild in ''Men at Arms'', before his first appearance in the Crew, he was either expelled or the subject of one of Discworld's various alternate pasts. Ron is known for his [[Foul Ole Ron's Smell|Smell]], so strong the capital letter is fully justified. In fact, Ron's Smell has evolved a personality of its own, and can be found without Ron, attending opera performance or visiting art galleries.

Ron is also known for the phrases "Bugrit!" and "Millennium Hand and Shrimp", whatever that means. He is often accompanied by his thinking-brain dog, [[Gaspode]]. Interestingly enough, when under the extra pressure of [[Elves]] on top of his usual burdens, the [[Bursar]] once started to talk ''exactly'' like Ron; Ponder Stibbons suspected that they'd overdone the [[Dried Frog Pills]].... ({{LL}})

Another Pratchett character who talks as if she could have an animated and mutually coherent conversation with Ron is Mrs. [[Tachyon]], the mysterious time-travelling bag lady in the [[Johnny Maxwell]] series of books. In [[Book:Johnny and the Bomb|Johnny and the Bomb]], Mrs Tachyon displays a personal familiarity with the phrase "Millennium, Hand And Shrimp!" that will be instantly recognisable to connoisseurs of Ron-speak. It raises the question of where, and from whom, she may have acquired the phrase, on her travels in space-time. (It is of course marginally possible that she has read her way through the Discworld books.)

The [[Assassins' Guild]] has an as yet unfulfilled contract for the inhumation of Ron. The value on his head is one groat. Ron is probably safe: a rule of Assassination is that the deed must be done up close and personally if at all possible, and preferably at the home of the inhumee. Getting up close and personal to a man who has no fixed abode would present operational difficulties, not the least of which is that Assassin finery would corrode and rot on first contact with the Smell. Even an arrow or crossbow bolt might corrode in the very air before reaching him. Besides, which self-respecting Assassin would get out of bed for two pennies? (after Guild Tax).

===External Links===
The secret behind the phrase "Millennium Hand and Shrimp" is revealed in the [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/lords-and-ladies.html annotated pratchett files].
Of course, like stage magic, it's no fun when you know how it's done.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Ron, Foul Ole]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Ron, Foul Ole]]
[[Category:Human characters|Ron, Foul Ole]]
[[de:Stinkender Alter Ron]]

The Duck Man

2024-01-27T03:56:20Z

Dougnewham:

{{Character Data
|title= The Duck Man
|photo=
|name=
|age=
|race= human
|occupation= Beggar
|appearance= Wears fine (if somewhat tattered) clothing, has a duck on his head
|residence= Under the [[Misbegot Bridge]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{SM}}, {{H}}, {{TT}}
|cameos= {{FOC}}, {{J}}, {{T!}}
}}
'''The Duck Man''' is a beggar in [[Ankh-Morpork]], who unlike [[Foul Ole Ron]], talks like an intellectual. He is the most coherent of the [[Canting Crew]]; he can estimate how much food can be bought with a certain amount of money. It is possible that someone who sits down blindfolded with the Duck Man at the same table can carry out a normal conversation on a non-personal and non-controversial topic without finding out that the Duck Man is a beggar (no longer in the [[Beggars' Guild]]) who is considered insane.

The reason that the Duck Man is called the Duck Man, and considered insane, is that there is forever a duck sitting on top of his head, though he insists that there is not. Other small clues such as that he cannot recall his past will not be observed except in an extensive conversation. Confused memories of a time before he became the Duck Man occasionally arise, but are soon disregarded. The Duck Man is quite happy as he is.

For unknown reasons the [[Assassins' Guild]] has a substantial price on his head, although he is probably safe as few assassins would want to be recorded as assassinating a beggar.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Duck Man, The]]
[[Category:Human characters|Duck Man, The]]
[[de:Entenmann]]

The Duck Man

2024-01-27T03:56:06Z

Dougnewham:

{{Character Data
|title= The Duck Man
|photo=
|name=
|age=
|race= human
|occupation= Beggar
|appearance= Wears fine (if somewhat tattered) clothing, has a duck on his head
|residence= Under the [[Misbegot Bridge]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{SM}}, {{H}}, {{TT}}
|cameos= {{FOC}} {{J}}, {{T!}}
}}
'''The Duck Man''' is a beggar in [[Ankh-Morpork]], who unlike [[Foul Ole Ron]], talks like an intellectual. He is the most coherent of the [[Canting Crew]]; he can estimate how much food can be bought with a certain amount of money. It is possible that someone who sits down blindfolded with the Duck Man at the same table can carry out a normal conversation on a non-personal and non-controversial topic without finding out that the Duck Man is a beggar (no longer in the [[Beggars' Guild]]) who is considered insane.

The reason that the Duck Man is called the Duck Man, and considered insane, is that there is forever a duck sitting on top of his head, though he insists that there is not. Other small clues such as that he cannot recall his past will not be observed except in an extensive conversation. Confused memories of a time before he became the Duck Man occasionally arise, but are soon disregarded. The Duck Man is quite happy as he is.

For unknown reasons the [[Assassins' Guild]] has a substantial price on his head, although he is probably safe as few assassins would want to be recorded as assassinating a beggar.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Duck Man, The]]
[[Category:Human characters|Duck Man, The]]
[[de:Entenmann]]

Arnold Sideways

2024-01-27T03:50:59Z

Dougnewham:

{{Character Data
|title= Arnold Sideways
|photo=Blank.jpg|
|name= Arnold Sideways
|age=
|race= Human

|occupation= Beggar
|appearance=

|residence= [[Ankh-Morpork]]

|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{H}}, {{TT}}
|cameos= {{T!}}, {{FOC}}
}}

A member of the [[Canting Crew]] of [[Ankh-Morpork]]. He has no legs, and it is hinted that he may be deformed in other ways. It is stated that anyone looking at him for too long gets the distinct impression that they are upside-down. Because of his missing legs, his primary form of transportation is a four-wheeled cart. While Arnold is completely legless, he nevertheless does have a boot, which he holds on the end of a wooden pole. This is very handy for sticking in closing doors and hitting, sorry, kicking people with. Arnold's boot gives him a sizable advantage in bar fights, along with his lack of legs. In a free-for-all fight, a man with good teeth at groin height has it all his own way.

Arnold's primary begging technique is to grab people by the legs and ask, "Have you got change for a penny?", usually profiting from the inevitable confusion. (After all, look at all the potential [[currency|sub-divisions of a penny]], which would tax any mind)

[[Category:Discworld characters|Sideways,Arnold]]
[[Category:Human characters|Sideways,Arnold]]
[[de:Arnold Seitwärts]]