We Can Rule You Wholesale

2023-09-29T10:38:41Z

Fslvyyasulubtz: Raised info on Roundworld tune approximations, and slightly extended. I believe these deserve slightly higher priority, for this is a song that should be sung. Note that the priority increase is only very **slight**.

Mentioned in {{MP}}, this song is [[Ankh-Morpork]]'s "national" (civic) anthem. It was written by a widely travelled vampire who noticed that in every country, all patriots know only the first verse of the national anthem and then mumble along and sing the bits they do remember very loudly to give the illusion they know it all. Thus inspired he decided to cut out the middleman, as it were, and write the version that would be sung by patriots regardless of the officially sanctioned version. During the revolution of the [[Glorious Revolution|Glorious 25th of May]] (documented in {{NW}}), the singing of this anthem by [[Reg Shoe]] was considered evidence of rebel activity. In {{UA}} the anthem was sung, as is traditional, before the start of the [[Football|Foot-the-Ball]] match at [[The Hippo]]. It was also recorded in the book {{BS}}, along with some information about it.

==Lyrics==

''"When dragons belch and hippos flee'' 
''My thoughts, Ankh-Morpork, are of thee'' 
''Let others boast of martial dash'' 
''For we have boldly fought with cash'' 
''We own all your helmets, we own all your shoes'' 
''We own all your generals - touch us and you'll lose.'' 

''Morporkia! Morporkia!'' 
''Morporkia owns the day!'' 
''We can rule you wholesale'' 
''Touch us and you'll pay.''

''We bankrupt all invaders, we sell them souvenirs'' 
''We ner ner ner ner ner, hner ner hner by the ears'' 
''Er hner we ner ner ner ner ner'' 
''Ner ner her ner ner ner hner the ner'' 
''Er ner ner hner ner, nher hner ner ner (etc.)'' 
''Ner hner ner, your gleaming swords'' 
''We mortgaged to the hilt'' 

''Morporkia! Morporkia!'' 
''Hner ner ner ner ner ner'' 
''We can rule you wholesale'' 
''Credit where it's due."''

==Annotations==
It might possibly be approximately sung to the Roundworld tunes ''O Tannenbaum'', ''O Christmas Tree'', or ''The Red Flag''. Note that these are, in fact, all sung to the ''same'' tune. (As a minor note: ''The Red Flag'' was originally intended to be sung to something completely different.)

The song title might be a reference to the Philip K Dick [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Can_Remember_It_For_You_Wholesale We Can Remember It For You Wholesale]. In Roundworld it was written for the BBC Radio 3 programme ''The Music Machine'' by Pratchett (words) and Carl Davis (music) and performed by Clare Rutter, a soprano, with the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAqCbOJc6RU Link] It was also performed at that year's Proms by the Prommers' Orchestra and Chorus.

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We Can Rule You Wholesale