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Samuel Vimes

2024-07-26T17:07:02Z

Kwetal: typo fix

Vimes Family Motto: ''PROTEGO ET SERVIO''

''I protect and serve''
{{Character Data
|title= Vimes
|photo= Vimes_Duck_Blanket.jpg | Sam Vimes by [https://ko-fi.com/i/IS6S0AFK7N Tealin]
|name= Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]
|age= 50+ In [[Thud!]]
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= Commander of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]] (Badge No.177)
|appearance= Skinny, balding and unshaven
|residence= Ramkin Residence, [[Scoone Avenue]], [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]
|death=
|parents= [[Thomas Vimes]] (father) [[Mrs. Vimes]] (mother)
|relatives= [[Gwilliam Vimes]] (paternal grandfather) [[Grandma Clamp]] (maternal grandmother). [["Old Stoneface" Vimes]] (AKA "Suffer Not Injustice" Vimes)
|children= [[Young Sam Vimes]]
|marital status= Married to Lady [[Sybil Ramkin]]. A previous girlfriend, alluded to in passing in {{T!}}, is [[Mavis Trouncer]].
|books= {{G!G!}} {{MAA}} {{FOC}} {{J}} {{T5E}} {{NW}} {{MR}} {{T!}} ''[[Book:Where's My Cow?|Where's My Cow?]] [[Book:Snuff|Snuff]] {{RS}} [[Discworld Noir]]''
|cameos= {{TT}} {{GP}} {{MM}} {{UA}} {{ISWM}}
}}

'''Samuel "Sam" Vimes''' is the Commander of the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]]. He is the central character of the [[Watch Series]], in which he rises from being a poor and often-drunk policeman to being the leader of a modern police force.

During his first appearance in {{G!G!}}, he is the Captain of the (useless) Night Watch. He is promoted to being the Commander of a reunified City Watch at the end of its sequel {{MAA}}, and presides over the Watch's transformation into a modern police force. Through his detective work and adventures he saves the city and many people's lives on multiple occasions. He is often referred to as the second-most powerful man in the city after [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]]. As a result of his reputation, the word ''[[Sammies]]'' has become a nickname for watchmen trained in Ankh-Morpork.

Despite his distaste for nobility, he becomes a Duke and an ambassador. His current full title is ''His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch''. He is married to [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], the wealthiest woman in the city, and they have a son [[Young Sam Vimes|Samuel "Young Sam" Vimes II]].

== Biography ==
Samuel Vimes was born in [[Cockbill Street]], [[the Shades]], [[Ankh-Morpork]] into a poor family. Through his father Thomas, he is a descendant of [["Stoneface" Vimes|Suffer-Not-Injustice "Stoneface" Vimes]], who overthrew the [[Monarchy|monarchy]] in Ankh-Morpork centuries earlier, killed [[Lorenzo the Kind|its last king]], and ruled the city briefly before being overthrown himself. The Vimes family, until then a noble family, were disgraced and lived in poverty for many generations after. In his later life Sam is often compared to his ancestor, in both his personality and his appearance.

He went to the local school, where he was taught by Dame [[Slightly]] for 9 months and became blackboard monitor. After that, he spent some time in street gangs, including the [[Cockbill Street Roaring Lads]]. At the age of 16, he enlisted in the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Night Watch]], because his mate, Iffy Scurrick, had joined the year before and told him that there was "free food and a uniform and you could pick up the extra dollar here and there". Vimes joined the Night Watch shortly before the birth of the Glorious [[People's Republic of Treacle Mine Road]] during the [[Glorious Revolution|Glorious Revolution]]. In the original timeline, Vimes was mentored by Sergeant [[John Keel]]. Keel taught Vimes several important lessons, such stopping him from taking bribes at a time when such behaviour was widespread in the Watch. Keel took charge of the rebellion and was killed. In {{NW}}, the timeline was altered and his future self ended up impersonating John Keel for the duration of the Revolution, teaching him the same lessons instead.

Little is known about what happens between then and {{G!G!}}. Vimes became more street-smart, particularly after learning to fight with any means necessary by [[Gussie Two-Grins]]. However, the Watch declined in importance during this time, particularly after [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]] legalised the [[Thieves Guild]]. The Guild proved to be a better regulator of crime than the Watch. The Night Watch were reduced to patrolling the streets, ringing their bells at night and half-heartedly chasing criminals. During this time, Vimes became an {{wp|alcoholism|alcoholic}} (although as he was poor, he considered himself to be "a drunk", not an alcoholic).

By the start of {{G!G!}}, Vimes has become a Captain of a Night Watch that had dwindled to just four people: himself, Sergeant [[Fred Colon|Colon]], Corporal [[Nobby Nobbs|Nobbs]] and the new recruit [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]]. Around this time, Colon claims that Vimes never advanced further because he was "Brung Low by a Woman" (if so, then her name is [[Morporkia|Ankh Morporkia]]), although Vimes himself attributes it to his irreverent habit of speaking his mind to authority figures. But the events of this novel mark the turning point for the Watch and Vimes's career. The Watch showed their worth by stopping a [[Noble dragon|dragon]] from taking over the city. Vimes also began a romantic relationship with [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], one of the wealthiest women in the city.

From then on, the Watch began to grow again. In {{MAA}}, Vimes and the Watch thwart another attempt to take over the city. As a reward, the Night Watch and Day Watch are merged into a unified City Watch and Vimes is promoted to the post of Commander, as well as being given the somewhat unwanted title of Knight. He also marries Sybil and kicks his drinking habit.

Vimes and the City Watch go on to save the city and multiple lives, including a plot by golems and a vampire in {{FOC}} and a threat of war with Klatch in {{J}}. For this, Vimes is awarded with yet another unwanted nobility title: Duke of Ankh. Later adventures include a journey to [[Überwald]] in {{T5E}}, a journey back to the days of the Glorious Revolution in {{NW}}, making peace between dwarfs and trolls in {{T!}} and busting a goblin slavery network in {{SN}}. His son [[Young Sam Vimes|Samuel "Young Sam" Vimes II]] was born at the end of {{NW}}.

===Ranks and titles===
Vimes's ranks and titles rise over the course of the series:
*Lance-Constable Samuel Vimes ({{NW}}, his younger self)
*Captain Samuel Vimes of the Night Watch ({{G!G!}} until the end of {{MAA}})
*Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] (the end of {{MAA}} until the end of {{J}})
*His Grace, The Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] (the end of {{J}} until {{T5E}})
*His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] ({{T5E}} to present)
This is not the full list; he almost certainly had others during his early Watch career, and he had none prior to joining the Watch.

==Characteristics==
Sam Vimes is by nature an extremely cynical person. He has few good opinions on people in general, and even fewer on the nobility, the guilds, [[Vetinari]], [[vampires]], the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]], monarchy, democracy, [[Ankh-Morpork Times|newspapers]]...and the list goes on. In short, nearly everyone and everything is subject to his distrust. His first impression upon meeting someone is that they're guilty of some crime - 'the possibility that they were not guilty of anything he didn't think worthy of consideration' ([[Jingo]]) - though in a city such as Ankh-Morpork, this is more or less true.

Equally, he is known to be an angry person. His sheer, incandescent rage is barely suppressed by his desire to be lawful and administer justice properly (and also in a way, to not follow in Stoneface's steps). Due to his authority in {{MAA}}, when he finds himself in possession of the [[Gonne]], he struggles between his sense of justice and the Gonne's twisted desire to use him to kill in the name of justice. He can barely restrain himself from the Gonne's temptations. In {{T!}}, he nearly gives in entirely to those of the [[Summoning Dark]]. In the latter case, you have to consider that a [[Helmclever|dwarf]] stirs deliberately his anger, and the [[Dark Guards]] attempt later to assassinate not only Vimes, but also his wife and his fourteen-months-old son, using flamethrowers. On one side, there is Vimes, however rough and pessimistic he may seem, defender of law and order, and the other side is a Vimes who would kill for revenge and make his own law.

In {{T!}}, after years of nighttime patrols, Vimes's mindscape is described as the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]], streets and all, in the dead of night, with the rains bucketing down over your head. When Vimes is angry, doors of some of the houses (the more angry he is, the more doors) will open. When the [[Summoning Dark]] trespasses into his mind, needing a host in order to track down the [[Deep-Downers]], it tries to enter through one of the doors that opens when Vimes becomes angry, only to be pulled away at every time. It is later revealed that the force preventing the [[Summoning Dark]] from making any progress in possessing Vimes is Vimes's own 'inner guardsman'.

His chronic alcoholism may be partially due to his natural state of extreme sobriety, known as being [[knurd]]. According to Vimes's long-time close friend and fellow officer [[Fred Colon]], it is because that every other normal person is naturally slightly drunk to some extent to conceal the true horrors of reality from them. However Vimes lacks the ability to produce his 'own alcohol', as it were. Vimes used to attempt to cure this by drinking heavily; unfortunately he often over-dosed himself, and became an alcoholic. After marrying Lady [[Sybil Ramkin]], he quit drinking and smoked cigars instead. In {{FOC}}, he still has the habit to reach in stress situations for the bottom desk drawer, where his bottle used to be. But he'd never bought a bottle since he got married, and Carrot and Fred Colon keep an eye on him, as well. As of ''[[Book:Snuff|Snuff]]'', even his smoking has been barred from the house (likely for Young Sam's sake), and he sates his cravings with non-alcoholic mixers whipped up by [[Willikins]].

Another reason for Vimes's past alcoholism may be his history; Vimes has been on the Watch since his late teens. He has lived through the successive regimes of Homicidal Lord [[Winder]] and [[Mad Lord Snapcase]], two patricians whose sobriquets more than adequately describe their tenures, as well as several wars, and the legalization of the Guilds under Vetinari, which more or less broke his spirit. His participation as a young copper in handing people to the [[Cable Street Particulars|Unmentionables]] has surely left him also with a deep feeling of guilt and shame, after witnessing the results in their headquarters.

Vimes is a firm believer in the institution of law. He has a soft spot for the poor and those otherwise unable to fend for themselves, as although he views them as equally able to commit crimes as any other demographic; he sees law as a great equalizer, regardless of race (however despite his acceptance of just about any species into the Watch, until he was forced to in [[Thud!]] he refused to have a [[vampire]].)

As Vimes's long-time close friend [[Fred Colon|Sgt. Colon]] puts it, Vimes could get drunk in better style, Vimes could be baffled about a case with better vocabulary, and Vimes could deal with the paperwork. To himself, Samuel Vimes is a not very intelligent man with a sordid personal history that he'd rather forget. To many others he is, somehow, the person to look up to. [[Carrot Ironfoundersson|Captain Carrot]] quotes Vimes's ideas about social justice, and tries to make them a reality. [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], Vimes's wife, thinks that he can sort out anything. The new policemen trained in the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] and then hired elsewhere, though they haven't seen Vimes in person much, are called ''[[Sammies]]'' (perhaps a nod to the "bobbies," so-called because of Sir Robert Peel).

Vimes is far from being perfect, and he knows the fact better than anyone. In addition to former alcoholism, Vimes has many prejudices. He hates many kinds of people and many things, and he has quite good reasons to. He hates the upper class because they look down on the rest of the society while exploiting it (e.g. charging high rent from the poor people living in slum properties).

He hates [[dwarfs]] and [[trolls]], but he has stated that he doesn't care that much for humans either so he can't be blamed. He hates [[zombies]], [[werewolves]] and [[vampires]]; for unashamedly discriminative reasons, among them being that they cannot be killed if police duty necessitates that Vimes should fight them, and he believes that vampires naturally or reflexively prey upon people, as well as often being rich and snobby.

He hates dishonest policemen. He accepts that a publican may offer a free pint or a meal to an officer just because having an officer on the premises at rush hour makes things go more smoothly is just a way of doing business, but draws the line at an officer taking money to look the other way. He also sacks, and may even prosecute, officers who abuse prisoners or participate in crimes. In his view, the law must apply to everyone, or it applies to noone. That was why, in Jingo, he reluctantly agreed to arrest Lord Vetinari.

He hates [[Assassins' Guild|Assassins]] and [[Thieves' Guild|Thieves]] because their crimes are legalized and he cannot arrest them, and their leaders are even city dignitaries now. He hates [[Alchemists' Guild|Alchemists]] because they blow things up.

Just about the only kind of people that he doesn't hate are gargoyles, who never commit crimes that anybody finds out about, and the [[wizard's magic|wizards]]; they may mess up the space-time continuum and destroy the universe, but such offenses seldom fall within Vimes's jurisdiction. Vimes has a complicated love-hate relationshop with the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]], equating it to a woman who treats you badly, but you can't help but go back to her. It has been said that he protects the city just as he protects the dwarfs and trolls, so that he can go on hating them. In truth, Vimes has seen too many bad things in his line of work, and now finds it difficult to have a good opinion of anything in general; he is far too cynical (and yet depressingly sometimes not cynical enough). He doesn't have too much animosity for the Seamstresses Guild, since the Agony Aunts handle any excesses by customers, and the Houses themselves make sure that a customer will not end up beaten, naked, and penniless in the streets, "unless his tastes run that way."

In {{J}}, Vimes finds himself in a difficult and tense situation where he is holding the [[Klatch|Klatchian]] Prince [[Cadram]] at bowpoint, and is prepared to kill him because (tenuous) evidence links him to a conspiracy to kill Prince [[Khufurah]], but there is no court which would try the case. He is saved by the arrival of [[Vetinari]], who defuses the situation.

According to [[Detritus]], when Vimes found a child-killer who has kept a "''memento''" of his deed, it was all the troll could do to prevent him from killing the perpetrator. This all comes to light during the events of {{T!}} where Vimes' internal Watchman - which describes itself as existing to keep the darkness in rather than keeping it out- battles with the [[Mine sign|Summoning Dark]] for supremacy of his soul and is ultimately victorious in dispelling the evil entity from its attempts to use Vimes to kill for it. This can be illustrated by the fact that when asked 'quis custodies ipsos custodes' ('Who watches the watchmen?') Vimes's immediate reaction is 'Me'. When asked who guards him, he replies, 'I do that too.'

He is capable of accepting specific individuals. He has married Lady Sybil and certainly loves her. He accepts members of ethnic minorities in his Watch, has personally trained some of them, and is quite proud of them. He promotes Watch officers according to merit and ability, regardless of gender, species, or seniority. He also has a soft spot for the poor, the working class, or the young. When he finds younger Assassins failing their attempts on him, for example, he lets them go with only minor wounds; older Assassins, on the other hand, have been known to be [[Richard Liddleley|painted and tied up left in public]], or even [[Eustace Bassingly-Gore|chained up and sent on a sea voyage]] all the way to the other end of [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]]. To put it very simply, he tries to look after those who have nobody else looking after them.

In attempting to carry out justice, Vimes has arrested sons of Ankh-Morpork nobles as well as city dignitaries, all the way up to [[Lord Vetinari]]. This has put Vimes high on the hit list of the Assassins at a price of $AM20,000 in {{FOC}} rising to $AM600,000 after 9 failed attempts at the time of {{T5E}}; recently, however, he has been taken off the register, and the Guild of Assassins no longer accepts contracts on his life. This may be because he is somehow vital to the running of the city, as [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]] is, or it may be because no sensible Assassin will volunteer for the task anyway. Vimes has personally designed and installed many traps and deadfalls all around the Ramkin family home and the Watch headquarters at [[Pseudopolis Yard]]. So far, Vimes hasn't been even injured by any Assassin. The Assassins Guild now has some of its trainees conduct "''dry run''" assassination attempts on Vimes as a matter of testing the trainee's skills - particularly if they feel the need to [[Jocasta Wiggs|bring the trainee's ego back down to the Disc]] (see {{NW}}).

He is also fiercely anti-authority, possibly a facet of his character which he inherited from Old Stoneface. That he manages this whilst actually being authority is, as [[Lord Vetinari]] put it, "''practically zen''." He regards being the Duke of Ankh as a job title and always prefers "Commander" or "sir" to any of his other titles, which include "''His Grace''," "''His Excellency''" and "''his blackboard-monitorship''" ({{T5E}} and {{T!}}). Continuing to call him by any of these titles after he's explained his preferences is an excellent way to get in His Grace His Excellency's bad graces.

Sam Vimes's full title of record is "''His Grace, His Excellency, the Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes''." His "Blackboard Monitor" epithet is used like a title in ''[[Book:Snuff|Snuff]]'', implying it may actually have been accorded some official weight by the Low King of the dwarfs. Ironically, the one title Vimes holds with genuine pride (as of ''[[Book:Snuff|Snuff]]''), aside from Commander, is "King" .. as in, "King of the River", an honorarium awarded in recognition of his role in saving the riverboat ''Wonderful Fanny'' from piracy and flood.

Members of the Watch earn the privilege, and it is a privilege, of calling him "''Mister Vimes''" only after very long association (i.e. [[Nobby Nobbs]] or [[Fred Colon]]), or after watching his back in a street fight to the extent that they have demonstrably saved his life ([[A.E. Pessimal]]). He does not tolerate the "''Mister''" from outsiders. [[Fred Colon]] sometimes calls him by his first name when he's worried. He has inherited his ancestor's nickname "''Old Stoneface''," but this is never said to his face.

==Activities and Duties==
As other noblemen might ride horses, wear laces, ruffles, and plumes, Sam Vimes walks the city on endless patrols and wears his old battered Watch armor and leather shirt and jerkin, with the standard sword and truncheon.

Since becoming the Commander of the Watch and as such a popular target with the clients of the [[Assassins' Guild]], Vimes also started the exercise of personally engineering pitfalls and death traps around his house and outside of his office at the police headquarters.

As Commander and top officer of the Watch, Vimes' job is to oversee its operations and has to deal with a lot of paperwork, a job which he hates but accomplishes adequately. He still tries to go on patrol whenever he has a chance; to him, walking the quiet streets in the dark is a calming, almost relaxing activity. When there is an important occasion on which crime is anticipated, for example, that a foreign dignitary may be attacked during a public appearance (in {{J}}), Vimes likes to personally check suspicious places such as an abandoned building that an assassin might use.

Deduction is not Vimes' favorite activity; he distrusts clues and loathes mysteries (''"mysteries get you killed"''), and he now has the [[Cable Street Particulars]] to deal with peculiar crimes, but sometimes Vimes still personally investigates a case. When he witnesses a crime occurring, he abandons everything and chases the miscreant. It is possible that he uses police work to escape the social life of "Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh".

As both urged by Lady Sybil and ordered by Lord Vetinari, Vimes now often has to appear at dinners and parties. Most of the nobles and government officials that he sees at such social occasions, he considers stupid or obnoxious. Should he be accosted by one of these people, he does not hesitate to make clear how and why he loathes them. Vetinari likes to use Vimes as a diplomat, and while more often than not Vimes is the cause of diplomatic incidents, these seem often the intention of Vetinari.

The former Lord Ramkin, Lady Sybil's late father, had always had servants to shave him, to lay out his bath, to scrub his back, to lay out his clothes, to clean his shiny boots, and so on. Vimes now allows the butler to lay out his clothes, but that is about all. He insists on shaving himself as he dislikes other people putting a [[razor blade]], (or indeed any sort of sharp edge) to his throat, and attempts to wear cheap boots with cardboard soles. He has been walking the city in such boots for decades, and he likes being able to feel the different types of cobblestones so that he can tell which street he is on. Besides watch armour, Vimes has some gentleman's suits, a dress uniform of the Watch Commander, and a dress uniform of the Duke. He is often required to wear the ducal dress uniform, which has ruby tights (''"you wouldn't wear tights to battle if you thought you would be taken prisoner"''), a spiky coronet, a gilt armour (''"toy armour"''), and no place to hang his sword (''"you got made a duke for fighting and then they gave you no sword to fight with"''). Vimes compromises by wearing the Watch Commander dress uniform.

Nowadays, Vimes has to eat fancy food as cooked in the Ramkins' house. Personally, he prefers simple, greasy food with burnt crunchy bits, and so he is happier when he eats things that Lady Sybil has personally cooked by a dragon's fire.

Upon becoming a father, Vimes swore to faithfully get home by 6 p.m. every evening to read a certain picture book called ''[[Book:Where's My Cow?|Where's My Cow?]]'' to his son, Young Sam. This has become such a point of pride that he now has nightmares about not being home by 6 p.m. There is absolutely nothing that takes precedence over this; Vimes believes that if he misses it even once for a good reason, the next time he might miss it for a bad one, and eventually this attitude might spill over into the rest of his life. By the time of ''Snuff'', Young Sam has become the reader and Vimes Senior, the listener, but their 6 p.m. reading sessions continue like clockwork.

His son's welfare is one of the few things Vimes is willing to cross even his wife about, such that he insisted that they hire a nursemaid, Purity, to attend to Young Sam over Sybil's objections. Presumably this is also why the protective flame-baffles between the Vimes residence and Sybil's dragon stables are much, much sturdier in ''Thud!'' than in previous books.

==Annotation==
Philip Jackson from the British ''Robin of Sherwood'' TV series provides the voice for Vimes in the BBC Radio 4 adaptation of {{NW}}.

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Sam Vimes|Samuel Vimes's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]
* [http://discworldreadingorder.azurewebsites.net/TheWatch The Watch reading order] - A guide to Sam Vimes's story arc.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Vimes, Samuel]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Vimes, Samuel]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Vimes, Samuel]]
[[Category:Human characters|Vimes, Samuel]]
[[Category:Watchmen|Vimes, Samuel]]

[[de:Samuel Mumm]]

Seamstresses' Guild

2024-07-26T13:22:14Z

Kwetal: typofix

[[Image:Seam02.png|240px|right]]
Motto: ''NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE.''

''No pleasure without pay.''

An embarrassed or meaningful clearing of the throat is generally used while speaking the name of this [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guild]]. They call themselves seamstresses (hem, hem).

There seem to be many Seamstresses in [[Ankh-Morpork]], and yet bachelors or old widowers have difficulty when they try to find needlewomen who wield needles and threads to repair garments. Genuine ability with needle and thread and occasional mushroom is the province of [[Sandra Battye]], who retains the most cordial relationship with the Guild while, strictly speaking, not practicing as a Seamstress in the accepted sense of the word.

The seamstresses in the Seamstresses' Guild are, in the politically-correct language of the modern Ankh-Morpork, ''ladies of negotiable affection'', ladies whose company and loving attention, crudely put, could be hired for a night. A survey by the [[Guild of Merchants]] in the docks area of Ankh-Morpork found 987 women who gave their profession as "seamstress" – and two needles (according to {{MAA}}).

The Seamstresses' Guild does not have a formal school, most of the training being, so to speak, on the job. Some Seamstresses are based in ''houses of negotiable affection'' or, in older language, houses of ill-repute, although these houses are often highly spoken of. The head of the guild is Mrs. [[Rosemary Palm]]; "''Mrs''" indicating seniority rather than marital status. The guild enforcers are the [[Agony Aunts]], Sadie and Dotsie, prim, silent old ladies who will always catch up with a client that has behaved badly toward the Seamstresses. A punished client who is able to complain to the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]] afterwards is considered to have gotten off lightly. Other veteran practitioners and holders of the title "''Mrs.''" comprise the Guild officers ... or "''Mr.''," in the case of Mr. Harris, proprietor of the [[Blue Cat Club]].

The Seamstresses regulate their own behaviours like other good guilds. For instance, the Guild prides itself that a customer may safely enjoy the services it provides, and will ''only'' end up battered, bereft of money and clothing, and otherwise ill-abused, in an alley in [[The Shades]] at midnight, if his personal tastes were to run that way. Any attempt to rob a customer might be viewed as provoking a [[demarcation]] dispute with the [[Thieves' Guild]], and it is certain the Guild Council will not view this favourably at all (and since the [[Assassins' Guild]] often expresses terminal displeasure with Thieves who employ excessive force, a customer who dies during such an act might provoke extreme measures from both Guilds--Mrs. Palm would not be amused; such events are very unprofitable).

Therefore, if [[Dolores Smother]] were ever a Guild member, her working ethos, of drugging and robbing unwary [[Borogravia|Borogravian]] soldiers, would result at the very least in the revocation of her membership, and possibly the cancellation of additional privileges such as being able to breathe or walk without assistance. After all, the Guild prides itself on its tradition of negotiated hospitality and on the safety of clients who are going about the pursuit of their pleasures.

References in the Post Office edition of the Discworld Diary imply that this Guild also regulates the sale and distribution of pornography within Ankh-Morpork. Printed materials of an erotic nature that are shipped via post must be countersigned by a Seamstresses' Guild representative, and a ratings system apparently exists to evaluate whether content is too adult to be sent unsealed.

The Seamstresses had wanted to form a guild for decades. [[Mad Lord Snapcase|Lord Snapcase]] had promised to let them form one, but had since neglected them after he became [[Patrician]] (see {{NW}}). Later, the new Patrician, Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]], allowed the Seamstresses to form a guild. This is now one of the more powerful [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guilds]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]].

Women who actually use needles and [[wikipedia:sewing|sew]], along with other textile arts, are referred to as "'''''Needlewomen'''''," but no mention of a guild for them has ever been made. A Tailors' Guild exists, but as yet it's unknown if this guild is open to females.

==Annotation==
Roundworld rock band '''The Rolling Stones''' - surely by now their trade's equivalent of [[Cohen the Barbarian]] and the [[Silver Horde]], as they are currently in their fifth decade as a rock band - once recorded a song called ''Walking The Dog'', which has a lyric running

"''Hi-ho, tippytoes; She'll thread the needle, but she can't sew''!"

This is an old blues standard and appears to contain a reference to Seamstresses.

==Seamstressing is older than even the blues... ==
This is entirely true. Threadneedle Street in London, (now very rich indeed,) was probably known as Gropec**te Lane in the fourteenth century. If ever there was a euphemism that has stood the test of time, threading the needle ''certainly'' has.

Also, during Seattle's earlier days, brothels were illegal, so prostitutes would list their jobs as "''Seamstresses''" when the cops came calling. During a period of minimal city revenues, it was required that Seattle prostitutes possess a "''Seamstress license''," and these fees became a major source of revenue for the city.

And of course in Dutch/Afrikaans, the verb ''naaien'', formal meaning to stitch or sew, is slang for [[-ing]], so the Dutch translator probably got the joke immediately... the English euphemism is also found in Dutch, where the term 'naaister' or 'naaistertje' carries the same connotation as 'seamstress' does.

The choice of diversion via the seamstresses' occupation might lie in the possibility to explain a customers' lack of garments during an unexpected visit of law enforcement. Whether or not that requires the customer to bring all the clothes he intends to take off during his visit tattered seems negligible.

[[Category:Guilds|Seamstresses' Guild]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses|Seamstresses' Guild]]
[[de:Näherinnengilde]]

Scone of Stone

2024-07-26T13:09:26Z

Kwetal: fix typo

{{spoilersfor|''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]''}}

The '''Scone of Stone''' is the most famous form of [[Dwarf Bread|dwarf bread]]. It has seated the [[Low King|Low Kings]] of the [[Dwarfs]] since it was first created to seat [[B'hrian Bloodaxe]], some fifteen hundred years ago. The Low King cannot be Low King without this artifact. Tragedy came however when the scone was apparently stolen from its keeping place. The belief is that the truth was once something solid, like a mineral, and the last piece of it was hidden by [[Agi Hammerthief]] and baked into the Scone. Because the Scone contains a grain of truth it is said to burn red-hot if a lie is told in it's presence, a fact that came in useful when [[Rhys Rhysson| Low King Rhys]] wished to interrogate [[Dee]].

The stone is also referred to as "the thing and the whole of the thing."

A copy of the stone is kept at the Museum of dwarf bread in [[Ankh-Morpork]].

It should be noted that dwarf bread only lasts for a maximum of 300 years and belief has strange side effects.

The Scone plays an important role in ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]''.

==Annotations==

It is noteworthy that there is a Roundworld equivalent, namely the [[wikipedia:Stone_of_scone|Stone of Scone]] (pronounced 'scoon'), also commonly known as the Stone of Destiny or the Coronation Stone. It is a block of sandstone used for centuries in the coronation of the monarchs of Scotland, the monarchs of England, and, more recently, British monarchs. It was stolen in 1950 and returned about a year later. Even today rumours circulate that copies had been made of the Stone.

Another name the dwarfs give the Scone is the [[Low Throne]], which is itself a parody of many a 'High Throne' such as that at Cair Paravel in the ''Narnia'' series by CS Lewis.

In Irish mythology, the ''lias fail'' ('''stone of destiny''') is the traditional throne of the High King or Queen of All Ireland, and has a voice - it will scream or sing when the true High Monarch sits upon it. Later mythology is confused, but there is a hint that this was stolen by raiding Scots, who in turn had it stolen from them by the raiding English...

"The thing, and the whole of the thing" may also be an allusion to Kantian philosophy's ''ding an sich' -- the "true" thing in and of itself, which is ultimately unknowable.

The Low King's use of the Scone like a lie detector to make Dee confess is very similar to how King Arthur used Excalibur to identify a traitor in the ''Camelot 3000'' comic series. Yes, including the way the King knew, but did not mention, something about the detection-method's efficacy.

[[Category:Discworld concepts]]
[[de:Steinsemmel]]

Book:Hogfather/Annotations

2022-09-05T20:55:51Z

Kwetal: typofix

== Annotations for {{H}}==

* Although this is primarily a Death book, TP makes a heroic effort to get as many different characters into this "holiday special" book as possible: eg, the wizards and the Canting Crew (no witches though), as well as mentions of lands from several books (Omnia, Klatch, the Agatean Empire, etc).

* "'...yes, Twyla: there is a Hogfather.'". References the 21 September 1897 New York Sun editorial, {{wp|Yes_Virginia_There_Is_A_Santa_Claus|Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus}}

* The idea of a skeleton dressing in red, and giving presents during a winter holiday is also the main plot of Tim Burton's stop motion film, The Nightmare Before Christmas, in which the main character, Jack Skellington, the skeleton king of Halloween, becomes enthralled with Christmas, and decides to dress up as Santa Claus, or "Sandy Claws" as he is mistakenly called. Jack flies around the world, giving children his idea of Christmas presents, which being from the land of Halloween, are terrifying and dangerous.

* [[Visit]]'s attitude to Hogswatch, as expressed to an uncomprehending [[Nobby Nobbs]], places the [[Omnia|Omnian]] faith very firmly in the same camp as Roundworld's Jehovah's Witnesses. The Witnesses are a Christian sect who very firmly believe that Christmas is irrelevant to Christianity and is, in fact, a pagan festival which has been slipped in by Satan to mislead and taint the Faithful and which no true believer should even ''think'' of celebrating. Similarly, the Omnians ignore Hogswatch from a similar position of supposed theological superiority.

* "I spent hours with my nose pressed up against the window... until they heard me callin', and unfroze me.", possible reference to a similar scene in {{wp|A_Christmas_Story|A Christmas Story}}, where the main character gets his tongue frozen to a flagpole.

* "Assault and battery included." - parodies the Roundworld phrases "assault and battery" and "batteries not included". Given the state of electrical technology on the disk, do they really have batteries? Given that the oldest ever battery thus far discovered on Roundworld is dated in the first few centuries AD (the discovery was apparently poorly documented at the time and dating has been done on the style of pottery involved, so is a little vague), it's entirely possible that crude electrochemical cells may well exist on the Discworld. Whether they'd refer to them as "batteries" is another matter. Then again, in an '''assault''' you might find a '''battery''' of crossbows.

* "Come along, Mr Wizard." - possible reference to Don Herbert, popularly known as {{wp|Mr_wizard|"Mr. Wizard"}}. He was an American television personality and hosted two television shows about science aimed at children.

* "+++ Why Do You Think You Are A Tickler? +++" - Hex's answers are reminiscent of {{wp|ELIZA|ELIZA}}, a 1966 computer program designed to parody a psychiatrist.

* "Hex's 'Anthill Inside' sticker" - parody of {{wp|Intel_Corporation|Intel}}'s "Intel Inside" advertising campaign.

* "'It's, er, beehives.' [...] It's actually amazing how much information you can store on one honeycomb." - assuming [[Granny Weatherwax]]'s theory is correct (that all bees are part of a larger [[Swarm]]), Hex may've tapped into a very large and powerful source of information.

* "Mousse de la Boue dans une Panier de la Pate de Chaussures [...] It's not our fault if even Quirmians don't understand restaurant Quirmian [...] Brodequin roti Facon Ombres [...] Languette braisse [...] Sole d'une Bonne Femme [...] Servis dans un Coulis de Terre en I'Eau [...] Cafe de Terre" - Quirmian appears to be the Discworld equivalent of {{wp|French|French}}.

* "Reverse thaumaturgy, yes, certainly." - a reference to {{wp|Reverse_engineering|Reverse engineering}}

* "'There are magic wardrobes,' said Violet nervously. 'If you go into them, you come out in a magic land.'" - a reference to C.S. Lewis' {{wp|The_Lion%2C_The_Witch%2C_And_The_Wardrobe|The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe}}

* The events of this book take place between {{IT}} and {{TLC}}, meaning that [[Rincewind]] is just starting his survival course on [[XXXX]]. Oddly, the Librarian doesn't ask Death/the Hogfather for Rincewind's safe return (it's less surprising that no one else remembers Rincewind -- in {{TLC}}, Ridcully repeatedly has to be reminded that Rincewind is a person, not a type of cheese).

* The square root of 27.4 is very nearly 5.2345

* "EQUALS 17,857 TONS." - one of the frequent [[57]] references in TP's work

* ''Non Timetus Messor'' - the family motto of the extended Death clan. On p375, (Corgi paperback edition), Susan and Jonathan Teatime have an intense discussion as to the ''good taste'' or otherwise of such a family motto.

* "This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts..." " -- This is a send-up of {{wp|Pascal's Wager|Pascal's wager}}, named after the Quirmian, I mean French, mathematician and philosopher {{wp|Blaise Pascal|Blaise Pascal}}.

* ''Wistful Lying'' seems to be a play on words. Normally wouldn't be worth noting but the usual phrase is "Wishful thinking," where "wishful" is saying something about the future, while "wist" is properly the past participle of "wit," & fits well with the theme of understanding the past to bring it into the present.

== [[Roundworld]] References ==

Direct references to [[Roundworld]]:

* {{wp|Old_Faithful|Old Faithful}}, a geyser
* The {{wp|Copacabana_%28nightclub%29|Copacabana}}, a New York nightclub, also mentioned in the Barry Manilow song of the same name
* {{wp|Valium|Valium}}, brand name for diazepam, a drug used to treat anxiety
* The {{wp|Anthropic_principle|anthropic principle}}
* ''Non Timetus Messor'' - the family motto of the extended Death clan. This is, of course, the titler of the best-known song by Gothic rockers and thinking man's heavy rock band the [[Blue Öyster Cult]], '''''Don't Fear The Reaper'''''. An extended scene between Susan and an (unseen) Death on page 19 appears to act out the last verse of the song, albeit with a twist at the end - she is ''not'' especially inclined to run to Him, nor to take His hand and fly away...

(Page references are to the Corgi paperback edition, pp14-19)

''The door burst open and a wind appeared;''

"The candle flame was streaming out horizontally, as though in a howling wind" (p15)

''The candle blew and then disappeared;''

"She looked up. The curtains billowed away from the window, which-

-flung itself open with a clatter.
But there was no wind. At least, no wind in this world."

''The curtains flew, and then He appeared.... saying "Don't be afraid"''

But Susan is bloody annoyed rather than afraid, and she certainly doesn't run to him, nor take his hand...

"Oh no, not AGAIN. not after all this time, Everything had been going so well-"

What deters Death from manifesting and completing the verse is the inopportune appearance of Susan's charge [[Twyla]], who wants her to get rid of a monster. It is clear from the context of the above that Death is in the vicinity and wants to see his grand-daughter. Perhaps this is a professional call to collect the soul, or nearest equivalent, from the spider-like monster which Susan then despatches with a poker, just to prove a point to Twyla... Death must then have thought better of manifesting to an angry grand-daughter with attitude and a poker. But the above is almost exactly as per the song...

Susan returns to bed, bitterly thinking "So they were coming back", and tries to ignore the long thread of wax that suggested the candle had, for just a few seconds, streamed in an otherwise non-existent wind, as mandated by [[Narrative Causality]]...

Tacticus is clearly Tactics+Tacitus, but I can't get rid of the idea it's also an oblique reference to the military leader Caratacus, famously called Caractacus in the Major-General's Song.

p.99 The wren song sounds a lot like "[https://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?songid=4719 Please to See the King]" a carol in which carolers dress a wren in finery & carry it from house to house asking for alms for the king (the wren).

[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/hogfather.html ''Hogfather'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

[[Category:Annotations|Hogfather/Annotations]]

Book:Raising Steam

2014-02-11T07:12:09Z

Kwetal: typo (dsave=>save)

{{Book Data
|title=Raising Steam
|cover=
[[File:RaisingSteam.jpg|240px|Cover art by Paul Kidby]]
|illustrator=Paul Kidby
|date=7 Nov, 2013
|publisher=Doubleday
|isbn=0857522272
|pages=384
|rrp=£20.00
|series=Ankh-Morpork Books
|characters=[[Moist von Lipwig]]
|annotations= yes
|notes=The fortieth Discworld novel
}}

==Blurb==
To the consternation of the patrician, [[Lord Vetinari]], a new invention has arrived in [[Ankh-Morpork]] - a great clanging monster of a machine that harnesses the power of all of the elements: earth, air, fire and water. This being Ankh-Morpork, it's soon drawing astonished crowds, some of whom caught the zeitgeist early and arrive armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear.
[[Moist von Lipwig]] is not a man who enjoys hard work - as master of the Post Office, the Mint and the Royal Bank his input is, of course, vital... but largely dependent on words, which are fortunately not very heavy and don't always need greasing. However, he does enjoy being alive, which makes a new job offer from Vetinari hard to refuse...
Steam is rising over Discworld, driven by Mister Simnel, the man wi' t'flat cap and sliding rule who has an interesting arrangement with the sine and cosine. Moist will have to grapple with gallons of grease, goblins, a fat controller with a history of throwing employees down the stairs and some very angry dwarfs if he's going to stop it all going off the rails...

'''Quote'''
''The villains of the storybook had found their place in society, at last. All it needed was technology''.

==Characters==
*'''Major characters'''
**[[Ardent]]
**[[Moist von Lipwig]]
**[[Rhys Rhysson|Low King Rhys]]
**[[Havelock Vetinari]]
**[[Ned Simnel]] (deceased)
** Young [[Dick Simnel]] keeping the flame alive. Literally so.

*'''Minor characters''
**[[Bedwyr Beddsson]]
**[[Cedric]]
**[[CMOT Dibbler]]
**[[Fflergant]]
**[[Blodwen Footcracker]]
**[[Sulien Heddwyn]]
**[[Elsie Simnel]]
** Mr [[Thunderbolt]]
**[[Stoker Blake]]

*'''Interesting Additional Feature'''
* The Doubleday hardback features an expanded two page map of the Central Sea region on pp8-9, (or at least of its Hubwards side), which provides a lot of interesting detail as to locations of places previously only hinted at or else vaguely located. The map covers the region [[Quirm]]-[[Ankh-Morpork]] - [[Scrote]] - [[Überwald]] - [[Lancre]] with [[The Chalk]], [[Sheepridge]] and the [[Octarine Grass Country]] shading in. No indication of scale is given, save for the incidental detail in the text that the completed railway line from Ankh-Morpork to Überwald is 1,200 miles long.

{{series|series=Discworld|before=Snuff|after=}}
{{series|series=Ankh-Morpork|before=Unseen Academicals|after=}}

[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Series|Raising Steam]]
[[Category:Discworld Series|Raising Steam]]