Banjo Lilywhite

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A huge, bald man with thirteen fingers, brother to Medium Dave. Used as the muscle in Medium Dave's operations.

Physically thirty-five years old, mentally and at heart he was five years old. Though capable of fearful violence, he drank milk when others drank beer, was happy to find a lollipop tree and a swing, and wanted to have a puppy called Spot. He lived in a simply furnished room in the YMPA (Young Men's Pagan Association). He still maintained belief in the Hogfather and other childhood fantasies. Led by Jonathan Teatime, he journeyed to the Tooth Fairy's Tower in an attempt to assassinate the Hogfather. He was the only one of Teatime’s assistants who was not afraid of him.

In the end, he replaced the late Tooth Fairy and took up residence in her tower. Presumably he is still there.

His aliases include:


A piece of Scottish/British Army slang, thus far not taken up by the Pictsies: to banjo has a colloquial meaning of "to beat up, to batter somebody senseless". This is an ever-present risk from the younger Lilywhite.