Teatime Prize

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Instituted by the Assassins' Guild in memoriam of the late Jonathan Teatime, an Assassin whose interest was in a highly specialised sub-set of Assassinations. Teatime had heard of the standard assignment, which could be set as punishment or as instruction by a Guild teacher - which was to plot a route in and out of the bedchamber of a world leader/dignitary of your choice, describe suggested method of complete contraction, and exit again in safety.*

Teatime appeared to rather think this lacked ambition. He extended this thought-experiment to include Gods, anthropomorphic personifications and supernatural entities including Death, the Sandman and the Hogfather. Indeed, Teatime was lost to the world of Assassination whilst trying to realise this last goal, which in very strange circumstances had become an actual active contract.

He is remembered in the form of this memorial cup, which is awarded annually to the graduate or student Assassin coming up with the best, or the most entertaining, mission plan for inhuming a God, anthropomorphic personifications, supernatural entity, or one who is protected by either Gods or magic.

  • Miss Alice Band doesn't just make them write a theoretical plan. She makes them go out and stalk Sam Vimes. This is held to be most educational and constructive to all involved.


The Teatime Award is fertile ground for fan fiction writers. Two good stories worth looking at are: