|Residence||Royal stables of Djelibeybi|
You Bastard is the sole remaining camel in the Royal stables of Djelibeybi (lit. Child of the Djel). He also happens to be the greatest mathematician on the disc.
As with most camels, he refuses to do anything until you beat him with a stick and swear at him. He does, however, break this rule once, toward the end of Pyramids. He seems to have a very tough hide or is incredibly stupid as he lets arrows fly at him without moving, as shown while in Ephebe although since he is the greatest mathematician on the disc it's likely that he's quite capable of working out simple parabolic motion and is therefore able to judge if the arrows are going to actually hit him.