From Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Discworld scientist and anal retentive who is credited with creating the Latatian classifications for nearly all its plant and animal species.

Linoleum is said to have had the sense of humour and and the social adjustment of a compulsive practical joker. Certainly some of his classifications for more sentient species on the Disc lack a certain something when translated out of the Latatian. The certain something thought to be missing is generally held to be tact, common diplomacy, or even a healthy attitude towards self-preservation.

Consider these:-

  • Homo Sapiens (man) - the wise human.
  • Hortus Decorus (Dwarfs) - lawn ornament.
  • Stultus Saxum (Trolls) - stupid rocks.
  • Nosferatu Sanguineous (Vampires) - bloody undead!
  • Lupus Sapiens (Werewolves) - clever doggies.

History does not record who was responsible for killing Linoleum, but a full and detailed volume of suspects was once published.

The Watch did not investigate the death of Linoleum for very long as they took the professional view that this is what’s known in Ankh-Morpork as a 'Suicide', (with a Capital 'S').


Based on the eighteenth century Swedish natural scientist Linnaeus[1], who came up with the Latinate hierarchy in use today to name and describe all living things. He was not as suicidally incautious, although he had less promising raw material to begin from (instead, he indulged his sense of humour by including references to sex whenever possible). He did, however, call into being the genus vampyrum for the vampire bat, Vampyrus spectrus. Note the "y".