T'malia

From Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

One of the few women to achieve high office in the Assassins' Guild, Lady T'Malia also teaches Political Expediency. If you wish to enjoy a long life, do not have dinner with her, as it is generally believed that the jewellery of one hand alone contains enough poison to inhume a small town. See here: [1]

She remains stunningly beautiful, but these days with the sort of calculated beauty that is achieved every morning by three hours hard work on the part of a skilled team of artists, manicurists, plasterers, corsetières and dressmakers. As she moves, she is accompanied by the faint creaking and squeaking of whalebone under near-terminal stress. Her formidable underwear may well be couturiered by Burleigh and Spoke.

Fast learners in her classes don't watch her figure, they watch her hands. She is currently housemistress of Scorpion House.

In a Roundworld adaptation of Pyramids, she could be played by Joan Collins, who in several senses has been waiting all her life for a role she was born for.