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An ancient state whose main city of Um is now destroyed and all but forgotten. Their main invention was Umnian Golems; once they had invented golems they needed little else. The city-state was controlled by priests and run as a theocracy until its apocalyptic destruction in the first war with the Ice Giants. The Umnian golems were perhaps the most beautiful golems ever to be created, white with script-like writing baked into their pottery. These golems do not have a Chem, since their "words" are baked right on. Thus, they cannot be freed in the way that newer golems can. It is up to Moist von Lipwig to solve such a twisty problem.

While the city was destroyed and washed away in a deluge of water (perhaps caused by the destruction of one of the Ice Giant's glaciers) many of the golems survived. Washed far away and buried deep under the deposited silt and ruins of Um they languished in the dark, awaiting new commands...