Fung Shooey

Quite possibly, within the context of the Agatean Empire, a several thousand year old set of principles for living one's life and organising one's home and artefacts in the most harmonious manner possible.

A short-lived event in the life of Ankh-Morpork that never quite took off to the point where it became a fad, nor a means for insecure middle-class people to be relieved, by a trained Fung Shooey practitioner, of the inharmonious state of having too much cash and spare time on their hands. The person who intended to be the Fung Shooey practitioner who would unselfishly help people through the disharmony of having too much money (by selflessly taking away the excess) was C.M.O.T. Dibbler.

Fung Shooey foundered on the literal-mindedness of Ankh-Morpork people. Although his first customer, William de Worde, just walked away harmlessly with the advice that he might be more comfortable with his chair in a different position, Dibbler's perpetual bad luck struck at the second customer. Advised, in return for a consultation fee, to keep the privy lid down lest the Dragon of Unhappiness fly up his bottom, a Mr Passmore conscientiously followed this sage wisdom.

Until the moment he forgot, and lo, the Dragon of Unhappiness did manifest itself, and it was some time before Mr Passmore could walk properly again.

The Grand Master of Fung Shooey (Dibbler) then regretted exactly how well he had persuaded Mr Passmore of the existence of a Dragon of Unhappiness, paused and thought about for a little while, then decided that there was no point in proceeding with the Dibbler wind chimes and the Dibbler mirrors if bad karma was going to plop down upon his head like this. Even though, in his own words, he's always been good at selling ideas, this particular idea appeared to be tempting fate, in much the same way that opening a fish-and-chip shop on Dagon Street was tempting fate.... And he went back, as always, to selling sausage inna bun...

Annotation

Parodies the Roundworld art of feng shui, which is an ancient Chinese system of aesthetics believed to use the laws of both Heaven (astronomy) and Earth (geography) to help one improve life by receiving positive qi. The original designation for the discipline is Kan Yu (堪輿; literally: Tao of heaven and earth).

The term feng shui literally translates as "wind-water" in English. This is a cultural shorthand taken from the following passage of the Zangshu (Book of Burial) by Guo Pu of the Jin Dynasty:

Qi rides the wind and scatters, but is retained when encountering water.

Historically, feng shui was widely used to orientate buildings - often spiritually significant structures such as tombs, but also dwellings and other structures - in an auspicious manner. Depending on the particular style of feng shui being used, an auspicious site could be determined by reference to local features such as bodies of water, stars, or a compass.