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A foolish young human constable in the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Fittly appears in Thud!. Watchmen like a joke as much as the next citizen of Ankh-Morpork and a common favourite is to play a trick on new members of the watch. A dwarf officer might find a pair of platform shoes in their locker, or a werewolf a bone or dog biscuit. It was Fittly's bright idea to place cloves of garlic in the locker of lance-constable von Humpeding on the vampire's first day on the job.

To the amusement of the watching officers, she appeared to happily eat one clove of garlic, before demanding that Fittly eat another. The tables turned on him, and his colleges chanting for him to eat, the unfortunate man had to consume a bulb of "garlic", crafted out of a turnip and spiced with about thirty fresh chilli seeds.

He was sick.