The Battle of Ankh-Morpork

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The Ankh-Morpork Civil War ran from 8.32 p.m., 3 Grune, 432 to 10.45 a.m., 4 Grune, 432 more commonly known as 1688 UC. The origins of the war have always been the subject of heated debate among historians. There are two theories:

1. The common people, having been heavily taxed by a particularly stupid and unpleasant king, decided that enough was enough and that it was time to do away with the out¬ moded concept of monarchy and replace it with, as it turned out, a series of despotic overlords who still taxed heavily but at least had the decency not to pretend the gods had given them the right to do it, which made everyone feel a bit better, or

2. One of the players in a game of Cripple Mister Onion in a tavern accused another of palming more than the usual number of aces, and knives were drawn, and then someone hit someone with a bench, and then someone else stabbed someone, and arrows started to fly, and someone swung on a chandelier, and a carelessly hurled axe hit someone in the street, and then the watch was called in, and someone set fire to the place, and someone hit a lot of people with a table, and then everyone lost their tempers and commenced fighting.

According to the history books, the decisive battle that ended the Ankh-Morpork Civil War was fought between two handfuls of bone-weary men in a swamp early one misty morning and, although one side claimed victory, it ended with a practical score of Humans 0, Ravens 1,000, which is the case with most battles.

The famous fire during the Civil War is noteworthy simply because it was started by both sides at the same time in order to stop the city falling into enemy hands. It was not otherwise impressive; the ANKH had been particularly high that summer, and most of the city was too damp to burn. [MP] The later execution of Lorenzo the Kind in the same year marked the final end of any kind of monarchy in the city.

Feet of Clay Takes place 1 year before the 300th anniversary of The Battle of Ankh-Morpork. It is detailed in Feet of Clay that Nobby Nobbs will play the role of Lorenzo the Kind and that no one wanted to play "Stoneface" Vimes, so they would make him out of straw so that he would burn nicely when they threw him on the bonfire in the evening with accompanying fireworks.