Glenda Sugarbean

Glenda Sugarbean
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Name	Glenda Sugarbean
Race	Human
Age
Occupation	Head Cook, Night Kitchen
Physical appearance	Homely, short, endowed
Residence	Dolly Sisters, Ankh-Morpork
Death
Parents
Relatives	Augusta Sugarbean (Grandmother, Deceased)
Children
Marital Status
Appearances
Books	Unseen Academicals
Cameos

Queen of the Night Kitchen in Unseen Academicals. A doozy with a pie, but even better with a metaphysical hammer...

Her family are sought-after chefs and cooks and in fact, we learn Glenda is sitting on an offer to transfer her skills to the Fools' Guild, an institution that knows its pies. Even Vetinari himself is tempted to head-hunt her skills for the Palace kitchen, and in passing we learn her grandmother was a very successful pie-maker to the Assassins' Guild. Glenda herself invented the Ploughman's Pie, complete with a special technique to keep the pickled onions crisp. She does, however, do a small side job: selling beauty products to Trolls for Mr Stronginthearm.

Glenda is, in terms of looks, what the wizards would call "pleasant" or "homely" (although a very well-kept home). Her bosom would be a better fit on a girl two foot taller. She is not in the same league as Juliet Stollop. While she regularly reminds Juliet not to indulge in any hanky-panky, she is both unsurprised and disappointed when any opportunities for some hanky-panky of her own are swiftly dashed or ignored. She is quite motherly and strives to always be in control, regularly doing other people's thinking for them. Not only does she look after Juliet, but Glenda also takes care of her elderly neighbours. She has to hold herself back from taking other people's tasks on herself to ensure they are done right. Her inner voice regularly reprimands her for doing this, among other things. She is, however, always standing up for the little guy, which is often Mr. Nutt.

She secretly reads trashy romance novels by Iradne Comb-Buttworthy; a guilty pleasure, despite her realisation they all have basically the same plot. When encountering a chaise longue in the UU cellars, she prays for a moment of privacy so she can practice languishing. She learned some fancy words from these novels, but has never heard them aloud: When Mr. Nutt used the term "faux pas", she asked him if it looked to say "forks pass" when written down.

She owns a teddy bear called Mr. Wobble; due to a childhood sewing error, he has three eyes. She very rarely cries.

During the events of Unseen Academicals, Glenda learns to live a little, gaining strength from challenging people's authority (even talking back to the Patrician) and taking risks. She even learned to sell 'the dream', by flogging beauty products to trolls. By the end of the book, she is trying to relinquish her hold over Juliet's life and is romantically involved with Nutt, planning to ride off with him to Quirm.

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