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A language extremely close to Roundworld French, originating in Quirm. A related language is used around Genua and along the lower Vieux river (where they used to do That Thing With The Bulls until it was abruptly discontinued a few years ago. The women still talk about it and giggle, though).

In accordance with thoughts expressed elsewhere, everyday spoken first-language Quirmian may well be a minority language, like Welsh on the Roundworld, under threat by non-speaking incomers drawn in attracted by the beauties of the area and cheaper property prices. Indeed, the Gendarmerie officers encountered by Sam Vimes in Snuff have an attitude very much like that alleged of native North Welsh people:-

We all speak pretty good Morporkian here. Everybody here speaks Morporkian. If you ever hear us speaking Quirmian, it's because we want to talk about you behind your back...

See Quirmian Phrases for a list of expressions still used on Discworld.

Sample words and phrases in Quirmian

Some of these phrases and translations come from the recollections of the well-travelled Nanny Ogg, and should therefore be used with care

A fuller passage in Quirmian was used by the cook Aimsbury, in the throes of his unfortunate allergy to garlic. In fact, it's more of a discourse:

  • Nom d'une bouilloire! Pourquoi est-ce-que je suis hardiment ri sous cape a part des dieux? (Extremely free and approximate translation - Name of a kettle! Why do the gods make me the object of sly sniggers? More literally, from Google Translate: Name of a kettle! Why is it that I am boldly chuckled at by the gods?)

Restaurant Quirmian

Restaurant Quirmian as spoken (or more likely, read) in Ankh-Morpork is a related dialect. It resembles the original language as the inscriptions of the College of Heralds resemble Latatian. Few actually understand it, but many pretend to. One upscale establishment found all its supplies mysteriously replaced by muddy old boots on a busy night. They rallied in Iron Chef style with creations like:

  • Mousse de la Boue dans une Panier de la Pâte de Chaussures.
  • Brodequin rôti façon Ombres
  • Languette braisée
  • Sole d'une Bonne Femme (Servis dans un Coulis de Terre en l'Eau)
  • Et, dernier...Café de Terre

In context, Monsieur Insignes-Forvant, the Head Chef at the Assassins' Guild, is strongly implied to be a typical Quirmian master chef.

Restaurant Brindisian is also encountered. It's a little like Quirmian with many of the "e"s changed to "a"s.