Roraty Williams

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A wizard who suffered from the worst attack of Planets known to magic or medicine. This lasted for many years and culminated in one of the planets, magically called into being and orbiting around his head, evolving an advanced spacefaring civilisation that developed powered spacecraft and sent an invasion fleet out to conquer and colonise the inside of his head. They boldly went, in fact, where no other little grey alien had gone before and made First Contact inside his right ear. Other orifices followed. It is not related in Household Medicine, Hair-Care and Simple Surgery‎ as to how this unfortunate case was resolved, if at all.


In The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a mile-high statue of Arthur Dent suffers the indignity of having its left ear colonised by a race of more-or-less sentient birds, who, like all birds, are horribly incontinent. To the perspective of his aliens, Rorarty Williams would stand at least a mile high...