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A young coachman, employed by the rich and elderly widow Mrs Robinson, who has big ideas about what one of these babies can really do if only he's given the chance. When he encounters Samuel Vimes one evening on Monkey Street, uncomfortably close to six in the evening, and is offered a chance to be of assistance to the Watch, he grabs it with both hands.

Despite the speeding laws and road traffic iconographs, he displays to Vimes, in short order, the Two Wheelie, in which the carriage goes along for fifty yards on half its wheels. He then attempts to demonstrate the Full Wheelie, but Vimes restrains him. Faced with the swing bridge over Two Pint Dock lifting to allow ship through, Johnny, no doubt under the spell of the laws of universal narrative, attempts to jump the gap by aiming the coach between the masts of the ship. While this may have been done by speedier and more powerful vehicles in other phases of the Multiverse, Vimes knows it sure as Hell cannot be done by a four-horse carriage in this particular eigenstate. Therefore Vimes shows Johnny a new trick: the Bootlegger's Turn, which involves hauling on the reins in one direction, whilst jamming down the brake lever. This leaves the horses facing the way they've just come, and sends sparks all along the street. No doubt Vimes has seen this done by coach drivers with something to hide, who have seen a police roadblock looming up in front of them...

They part on the dockside, to the accompaniment of frenzied stick-banging from inside the coach, and querulous cries of "Johnny? Have you been driving fast again, young man?"

It is clear that Johnny is what would, in any other universe, be called a Boy Racer and an insurance risk...