Book:Men at Arms

Men at Arms
Cover art by Josh Kirby
Co-author(s)
Illustrator(s)
Publisher	Victor Gollancz
Publication date	1993
ISBN	0552140287
Pages	288
RRP
Main characters	Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Havelock Vetinari, Edward d'Eath
Series	Watch Series
Annotations	View
Notes	Book #15
All data relates to the first UK edition.

Blurb

"Be a MAN in the City Watch! The City watch needs MEN!"

But what it's got includes Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-constable Detritus (a troll), Lance-constable Angua (a woman ... most of the time) and Corporal Nobbs (disqualified from the human race for shoving).

And they need all the help they can get. Because there's evil in the air and murder afoot and something very nasty in the streets.

It'd help if it could all be sorted out by noon, because that's when Captain Vimes is officially retiring, handing in his badge and getting married.

And since this is Ankh-Morpork, noon promises to be not just high, but stinking.

Plot

Captain Samuel Vimes is forced by Lord Vetinari to take on a group of new recruits for the purposes of ensuring diversity - a dwarf called Cuddy, a werewolf called Angua and a troll called Detritus. Angua becomes involved in a romantic relationship with Corporal Carrot Ironfoundersson, but he does not react well to discovering that she is a werewolf. There has recently been a string of mysterious murders in the city that appear to be connected. Vetinari bans Vimes from investigating the murders in a successful attempt to provoke him into doing so.

The murders have been committed by a young assassin called Edward d'Eath. After researching the city's history and discovering that Carrot is the rightful heir of the throne of Ankh Morpork, he developed an obsessive desire to overthrow Vetinari and restore the monarchy. He committed the murders with the "gonne", the Disc's first and only hand-held firearm, a dangerous invention of Leonard of Quirm that d'Eath stole from the Assassins' Guild. The gonne appears to have a demonic power that tempts people into using it. When d'Eath explains his plan to Dr. Cruces, the head of the Assassins' Guild, Cruces kills him and decides to carry out the plan himself.

The Night Watch intervene to stop Cruces from killing Vetinari, but Cuddy and Angua are both killed in the struggle. Vimes and Carrot then confront Cruces, who reveals to Carrot that he is the rightful ruler of the city. Vimes seizes the gonne from Cruces and finds himself tempted to use the weapon, but Carrot stops him and disables it. Carrot is immune to being tempted by the gonne, which he believes is because he was raised as a dwarf and trained not to listen to tools. He kills Cruces with his sword and buries the remains of the gonne in Cuddy's coffin. Because a werewolf can only be killed with silver, Angua wakes up and recovers the following night.

Vimes holds his wedding with Sybil Ramkin. Vetinari fears that Carrot will use his status as the rightful ruler of Ankh Morpork to blackmail him. When he arrives, Carrot instead presents the Patrician with a plan to reform policing in the city by merging the Day Watch and the Night Watch into a new, modern and effective police force, with more funding and better working conditions. Vetinari agrees; Carrot is promoted to the rank of Captain, while Vimes is promoted to the newly-restored post of Commander of the Watch.

Cover

The front cover features (from left to right) Cuddy, Detritus, Angua, Carrot, Nobby and Colon. Illustrator Josh Kirby neglected to give Cuddy the dwarf a beard. At the bottom right there is a dog, presumably Gaspode.

Characters

Main Characters

Minor Characters

Bauxite
Beano the Clown
Big Fido, Chief Barker of the Dog Guild
Blenkin, servant of the d'Eath residence
Boffo the Clown
Chubby the swamp dragon
Coalface
Cornice-overlooking-Broadway
Doctor Cruces, head Assassin
Silas Cumberbatch, former town crier
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler
Lord Downey, then assistant head Assassin
Edward d'Eath
Duke of Eorle
Gaspode
Sir George
Gayheart Talonthrust a swamp dragon
Bjorn Hammerhock
Leonard of Quirm
Queen Molly
Lord Monflathers
Lord and Lady Omnius
Captain Quirke of the Day Watch
Skully Multoon of the Day Watch
Sybil Ramkin
Lord Rust
Mr. Scant
Lady Selachii
Sendivoge, Alchemist Guild secretary
Thomas Silverfish, head of the Alchemists
Viscount Skater
Abba Stronginthearm
Lord Venturi
Willikins
Dr. Whiteface

Cameos and Mentions

Kings and Queens of Ankh-Morpork (ancestors of Carrot's):
- Queen Alguinna IV
- Queen Coanna
- King Paragore
- King Veltrick III
- King Tyrril, ruled in AM 907
- King Webblethorpe the Unconscious
Famous Architects:
- Capability Brown
- Bloody Stupid Johnson
- Intuition De Vere Slade-Gore
- Sagacity Smith
Mrs. Cake
Cheese (the pub owner, not the rotting of milk)
Chrysoprase
Cumblethigh, a dwarf
Death
Mr. Flannel
Gimlet Gimlet
Hamslinger, a dwarf
Sham Harga
Deranged Lord Harmoni
Here'n'now
Grabber Hoskins
Ironfoundersson
Jimi, God of Beggars
Sergeant Kepple
Lorenzo the Kind
Lettice Knibbs
Cumbling Michael
Mr. Morecombe, Ramkin family lawyer
Bundo Prung
Ruby
Laughing Lord Scapula
Reg Shoe
Dribbling Sidney
Mad Lord Snapcase
Gerhardt Sock
Grabpot Thundergust
Stoneface Vimes
Homicidal Lord Winder
Zorgo the Retrophrenologist
Sgt Wimbler
Carbuncle

Locations

Things and Concepts

A Slow Comfortable Double-Entendre, drink
Guilds of Ankh-Morpork
- Alchemists' Guild
- Assassins' Guild
- Butchers' Guild
- Dogs' Guild
- Fools' Guild
- Gamblers' Guild (mentioned)
- Merchants' Guild
- Thieves' Guild
Battle of Koom Valley
Dwarfs
Swamp dragons
Flameless Gripe, swamp dragon disease
"Gathering Sweet Lilacs"- folk dance
Gargoyles
Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen
C.M.O.T. Dibbler's Genuine Authentic Soggy Mountain Dew
The Gonne
Hermit Elephant
Iconograph
The Inhumation Bell
The March of the Idiots, clown anthem.
Monarchy
Twurp's Peerage
Herbalist Plants:
- Eyebright for eyes
- Phallicus impudicus
- Spleenwort for spleens
- Teethwort for teeth
No. 1 Powder- gunpowder
Rats
Retrophrenology
Thighbiter's The Ankh-Morpork Succession
Trolls
Velvet Gown
Ankh-Morpork City Watch
Wellcome to Ankh-Morporke, Citie of One Thousand Surprises
Werewolves
Jimkin Bearhugger's Whiskey

Annotations

When he and Carrot have chased down and arrested Dr Cruces, Vimes ineffectually fights the blandishments of the Gonne as it insists that he must kill Cruces and take the power to himself. Cruces, remember, has just seemingly killed Angua: the natural tendency of a policeman who has just seen a fellow copper killed is not going to be one mercy and forgiveness. Vimes is eventually shocked out of the killing mood by Carrot, and lowers his weapon.

This evokes an episode in hard-man cop show The Sweeney[1], where Flying Squad copper Inspector Regan, in a rage after seeing a copper shot, almost has to be physically disarmed by his sidekick Sergeant Carter before he realises he has almost stepped over the invisible line, and taken out irrevocable rough justice on a cornered criminal. Note that the junior, subordinate, copper takes the lead in both situations.

Adaptations

Theatre

Adapted by Stephen Briggs into a stage play in 1997.

Murder in Ankh-Morpork is a second adaptation of Men at Arms combining plot elements from Guards! Guards! and Feet of Clay. Dramatised by Stephen Briggs 2020.